Denver, CO – President Barack Hussein Obama, now going by the street name of President Obongo, bribed the entire young vote of Colorado with promises of legalized marijuana if they voted him president. The people of Colorado responded and Obama kept his promise. Colorado has become the first state to legalize the most dangerous drug on Earth, marijuana.
Liberal journalist Shlie Weed of TopekasNews first tweeted the story to us, taunting us with a headline that we never thought would be possible in this great nation.
Colorado passes proposal to legalize marijuana
Already, all the terrifying things we know that happens when the most illicit drug possible is allowed it taking place in Colorado!
Nurses from a Denver hospital report to us they have already had 43 shooting victims tonight, all shot up by drug crazed weedies who had a bong in one hand and a gun in another! Teen pregnancies are going wild all over the place, college girls running naked through the streets and lustfully thrusting their moist, loose sinholes upon the nearest man possible! Marijuana has the potency of LSD and twice cracked cocaine, mixed with the 20 molar liquid qualuudes. With just two puffs of Colorado schwaggy, a woman can do a double stuffed penetration and it’s so sick we don’t know what that means!
It only gets worse from there. Marijuana is the gateway drug to prostitution and laziness. Over 94% of women who get even second hand marijuana smoke end up pregnant with STDs and a sinchild within a few years. A marijuana positive woman will sleep with an average of over 19 different men a month, for mere dollars and promises of more drugs.
We won’t even shock you parents out there with what your son will do to get a little toke of magic mint, but the stats are just as dangerous. As warned by Amber Cooper, when she prophesied Obama would use the original Magic Mint to win this election.
Friends, celebrations are taking place in all sorts of drug homes across America. Somehow the 47%: drug dealers, the poors, weed heads, lazy elderly, non-Republicans, atheists, pimps and other criminals have come out of their slums long enough to vote four more years of Obama, just so they can live off the teet of the hardworking bosses who keep America true to her cause: freedom for men as defined by the landowner masters in the Constitution!
We will demand Obama be impeached because he does not have a birth certificate and lied to the media. He promised he was not a druggie, but we see the first thing he does when he knows he doesn’t have to be reelected! Let us unify against this new form of liberalism. Who thought Obama and his Mass Street Lawrence beatniks would start their movement to have homosexuality and marijuana mixed up into a lurid concoction of raw sensuality in the heartland of America. It is now we must make our stand, my friends.