For years, feminists and their ilk have tried to convince society that women and men are equal in the work place. A cursory look at any household, from the regal echelons of the Upper East Side to the paltry porches of Snellville, Georgia, will play out a ballad that’s quite different. Simply sung, the song tells a story that will ring true in your heart: you know deep down and beyond all the political correctness, men are more successful than women.
Look at the White House: President Barack Obama and first lady (and housewife) Michelle Obama. Look at the runner-ups: Governor and quarter billionaire investor Mitt Romney and his lady (and housewife) Ann Romney. The trend trickles down through out society and likely right through the doors of your home: it is rare to find edifice where a woman is making more than the man, and is that way for a reason.
At this point feminists surely squawk and squabble, citing all sorts of grievances against me for stating the facts. But this is not a rudimentary play on social observance, but rather a deep look into what is really holding women back in the workplace. No one is arguing that our society has been without some gender discrimination through the years, but since the 1960s women have had the odds stacked in their favor and are still grossly outperformed by us men.
So what gives? Why are women failing to achieve equal success across the board, even when granted far more scholarship, employment opportunities and Mulligans in the workplace? A cursory look at the science and habits of women of this modern age is quite revealing.
Women Take Too Long to Prepare Themselves.
A woman is not poised and confident unless she has had two hours to prepare herself. As revealed in the diagram, a woman’s morning routine is rough, especially if she is in a relationship. In step one, we can see the female form gently unfurl itself from a coital position, likely where she fell asleep in the strong arms of her partner the night before.
Washing after intimacy is difficult for women, as tied with the removal of musks are emotions and memories. A woman will stare into the mirror as she brushes her teeth, thinking deep about the night before and what she plans to do the rest of the day. Was she good enough? Did he call out someone else’s name under his breath? Was she fresh?
After primping and showering, the woman must agonize over makeup, age lines and build her internal ‘poise and confidence’ before she can have a decent day. In all, if this process is interrupted (or it happens to be the bad week of her month) all of this goes to ruin.
While woman struggles, I demonstrate the wake-up routine of us men. Stretch, yawn, a visit to the throne, clean shave and out the door in ten minutes.
So why does it take a woman’s brain so long to get revved up? It is a simple matter of science. Ask any married man: over time, even the must sultry of sorority women will become tame, taking ages to get warmed and revved up. Somewhere in the female mind, extrinsic factors make it hard for her to focus, making her fickle, indecisive and generally, not up to highly pressured tasks.
To this end, men are primal. We can live in the moment. If we get called into an impromptu job interview and are at home, playing Skyrim with one hand and eating Doritos with the other, we can be business ready, precise and articulate within ten minutes. A woman would complain at such a thing: can I schedule this? This isn’t fair, are all the candidates called on the spot?
I have a headache, maybe later?
Does that sound familiar? Women get into the habits of making excuses to remove themselves from their innate inadequacy. This is not saying women cannot learn to overcome their nature, but it is rare to see. Names like Janet Reno and Bea Arthur come to mind when talking about broad, confident women who can take charge a situation. And as much as it pains to say it, these women may sacrifice a bit of femininity to exude the timely trait that is common for man.
Simply put, there is a reason why men outperform women. It is because we can and we will be ready to handle challenges more quickly. Until there is a widespread habit of women being like men, able to withstand a ‘quickie’ even if she has a ‘migraine’ or get dressed and ready for an impromptu date in ten minutes, women will continue to find themselves left behind in the workplace. Home life translates to success in the workplace and quite frankly, men are just more geared to always reach up and grab success and pleasure, at a moment’s notice.