The brilliant engineers of YouTube have brought mankind one step closer to creating a universal translator. On every rap video on Youtube, if you are signed into your accound and logging in from a nice suburban home or perhaps a tier one university, you will be given an option to ‘Turn on Captions’. Under this option, you will see a new feature called (Translate Caption – beta). On the video below, please now push the Closed Caption button and click it again to activate your black people language translator on YouTube.
If you do not have this option, it means you are either already black or live in a predominantly gangsta’ local. Look outside for the common symptoms: loud kids running around, drug dealers not taking kindly to lippy women, a bait car sticking out like a sore thumb, Church’s chicken, Martin Luther King Jr BLVD nearby, poor college students with recession beards…you get the drift. But for us in proper communities, we can now understand the language of your people so do not fret. We are now on the same page.
This following song was made by Obama’s brother who goes by Jay-Zee. Jay-Zee Obama is singing a song called 99 Problems, But a B**ch Ain’t One. You would think this song was about some dog breeder having to give up a female pit bull who got too ornery and bit someone, but instead, we see this song is referring to women and a day in the life of Jay-Zee and Willie Nelson.
While the translator is definitely not perfect and can still use more work, it is a step in the right direction. We can see how rough life is for Jay-Zee in the hood. He wakes up one day, sees some gangsters/poor students fighting over money/Ramen, gets pulled over by a cop for no reason at all. The cop tries to violate Jay-Zee’s right to not be subjected to search or seizure without warrant. Jay-Zee objects, making the police officer think he was actually a black lawyer. Jay-Zee, using expletive, tells the cop to respect the law of America and let him go. The officer complies, to which Jay-Zee informs the audience that he thinks the officer was no more than the lippy wife he had to ‘strong arm’ only hours earlier in the day.
The wife was getting on his nerves, nagging him over some mundane house chore he didn’t want to do. He had to give her a little ‘God tap’ on the cheek and then get some fresh air, which is why he is walking through his neighborhood in the first place. After the stress of his day, Jay-Zee went to a black church to get peace and then he went to the church’s after-party, where someone showed up and shot him. Fortuately, it seems he was wearing a bullet proof vest and we know he is alive, since he was seen taking pictures with his brother Barack Obama and wife Beyonce.
It will be really exciting to watch this technology as it progresses. Before today I would have been lost and not really understood this rapping documentary by Jay-Zee. But now I feel like I have some street cred and can relate to Jay-Zee, since whatever language he is rapping can now be converted into American.