• Jesus Christ to Appear On The Walking Dead Season Finale

    December 3, 2012 2:15 am 23 comments

    Hollywood, CA – In yet another shocking move to offend Christians, AMC is speculated to have a ‘guest’ appearance by Jesus Christ in the mid-season finale of the Walking Dead.

    There is a new cultural phenomenon where atheists believe it is funny to call Jesus a ‘zombie’ as a means to offend Christians.  AMC is apparently taking hold to this cultural meme by making promos showing Christ will show up and help guide Sherriff Rick in what is being called a spiritual quest.

    The Walking Dead took a turn to the spiritual all throught this third season, first with the appearance of Michonne, the mysterious assassin who can literally ‘walk with the dead’.  Michonne is cloaked by the angel of death, making her invisible to the souless zombies until her blood (life force) is spilt.

    We also saw sinners punished this season, mainly with Laurie being made to pay with death for having a sinchild with Shane.  Laurie had an affair and it was the sin child who caused her death, then her natural child who put permanent death to her souless corpse.

    At the end of the very episode where Laurie was made to pay for her adultery, Rick began to have visions from beyond the grave.  Laurie’s spirit was trying to call him on the phone, to apologize so she could escape purgatory and not burn in hell with Shane and all the other fallen sinner.  She wanted to go to heaven with the Baptist church driver T-Dog, who valiantly gave his life to save Jamie Lee Curtis.

    Rick could hear her voice on the phone, but his heart could not accept her apologies.  Next week, Jesus is supposedly going to help Rick forgive his slutty dead wife so she will be spared hell and be allowed to go to heaven.  All in all, we naturally find the appearance of Jesus as a zombie very offensive and will be writing angry letters to protest this horrible season finale.

    So far, the Walking Dead has been a great show that shows what it will be like after the rapture, when the dead shall walk the Earth for a season.  But to imply Jesus was a zombie, when not once in the Bible did he eat brains or wander aimlessly is beyond offensive.  AMC should consult with Kirk Cameron to see how to make a great post-Apocalypse show that is palatable for Christian audiences.  It would increase the show’s moral viewership and make it more easily applied to church sermons.

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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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