• Space Spider Dies in D.C.

    December 6, 2012 3:22 pm 1 comment

    Nefertiti the space spider died in D.C. today.  The red-backed mutant spider was born upon the International Space Station, a product of NASA’s mutant animal program.  Unlike spiders on Earth, Nefertiti could jump 6 feet from standing, spin 6 feet of web per minute and was trained to follow simple ‘click’ commands.

    After completing a 42 million mile space journey, Nefertiti was allowed to retire to the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, where she died after 55 days in captivity.

    Nefertiti’s original purpose was simple:  determine if a spider dependent on gravity for catching its meals would be able to adadpt and eat in microgravity.

    The spider was more than able to hunt down its prey of fruit flies on the space station, but ate far more than officials predicted she would eat.

    Some conspiracy theorists claim the spider’s immediate death after five days on Earth was the work of extremists who ‘feared’ that the jumping spider’s DNA would spread to other spiders, creating a super-species that could wreck havoc upon animals and mankind itself.  I tend to agree that it was best this spider died and had no chance to populate the Earth with super-spiders.

     

     

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    About The Author
    Reverend Clyde H. Higgins You're all sinners in the hands of an angry God, a spider dangling over the burning flames of hell and only protected by one silk thread. God has scissors ready and hates those who spin webs of sin.

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