• World Wide Prayer – A Euniversal Success!

    December 23, 2012 7:59 pm 211 comments

    AP (Associated Press) Topeka Kansas. Church authorities are calling the universal group prayer as having a significant impact on Mayan Apocalypse that never took place on 12-21-2012.Today Americans shared a collective sigh of relief that indeed the World’s End was narrowly defeated by the power of prayer.  Church authorities  around the globe are praising religious leaders like The Good  Reverend Skeeter G McAssert at the Holier Than Thou Church of the Conservative Shepherd along with ordained minister Eunice Wentworth for their powerful prayer ceremony skyped nationally over Christian Tuner Radio and other syndicated stations.The broadcast received international attention. As reported in the Topeka Times, another lesser known baptist church also held prayer vigils that lasted into the night. Towels were dripping with sweat while lithe bodies heaved . solemn prayer and gospel music played  and many held hands rejoicing as night turned into day. The service in Arkansas was accompanied by the  Jiggy  D. Wimple Jug Band, and a very special children’s chorus. “Because of the church’s generosity in praying for all sinners, Christian and non Christian alike, the event was deemed a phenomenal success and one that will go down in the history books.” Said E Rock Burnside, a Deacon from Salt Lake City, Utah and a prominent Evangelical Leader. “Be grateful that all lives were spared,” said Ms. Wentworth who has also had success with demonic eradication and boner suppression therapy. Wentworth’s last exorcism involved Vermin Supreme, celebrity,  comedian and political activist. Mr. Supreme was afflicted by demonic voices ,   negatively  impacting his political career. The demons had housed themselves in a boot Vermin wore on his head and spoke to him in tongues. He is now demon-free. Christwire has made arrangements for a secret prayer intervention in Topeka;  a hub of unabashed sin and wanton adultery.

    The praying was deeply intense, reports Pastor Bynum from Kansas. "Our hearts and souls radiated pure love" as evidenced in the photo above.

    The praying was deeply intense, reports Pastor Bynum from Kansas. “Our hearts and souls radiated pure love” as evidenced in the photo above.

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    About The Author
    Eunice Political agitator at Americans for Inequality, campaigned strongly against Vermin Supreme until I cured him of demonic possession. Now we are BFFs. I enjoy the Facebook, crochet and mixing martinis, especially dirty ones. I'm a lonely widow only seeking to meet new friends as my life is an absurd island of loneliness. I believe in faith and wisdom. Hard work is a staple to a happy, productive living. I swim and do the yogas but for the most part shopping and relaxing at spas keeps me very busy and useful. I'm proud to be a well off American. Scrabble anyone? I'll kick your ass.

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