• Justin Bieber: Drug Addict, Twink, Murderer — A Role Model?

    January 7, 2013 6:19 pm 315 comments

    By Mark E. Figs

     

    How to begin an article about a flamboyant twink man-boy who parades around onstage with the tenacity of Liberace all Popper’d up; a young man-boy who disrespects elected officials enough to wear overalls to a state event, who entices millions of young (often unnattractive) women into wanting his tiny man-spear thrust inside their womb, injecting them with the Lord’s baby batter and creating an unspeakable legion of idiotic cretins?

    This is how you begin –

    JUSTIN BIEBER IS A POT SMOKING, DRUG ADDICTED MURDEROUS SOCIOPATH.

    Justin Bieber smokes marijuana, aka “pot” aka “weed” aka “herb” aka “grass” aka “weed pot” aka “dank.” He takes a “hit” every chance he gets and get high, to create horrible auto-tuned music that makes girls drop out of school and experiment with sexual things, like “dildos.”

    DID YOU KNOW?: Justin Bieber is responsible for an 89% increase in broken hymens, essentially ruining the holy sacred temples (the womb) that the Lord created and urged to remain intact until marriage? When girls hear Bieber’s music, they disregard this Biblical mandate, instead opting to “snap into a Slim Jim” and break their hymens. Bieber, if convicted, could face ONE MILLION YEARS in jail for the forced sexual intercourse his music creates.

    Justin Bieber is also a murderer. Recently, the very presence of his automobile (the TwinkMobile) caused a young, aspiring family man and part-time photographer to DIE while attempting to obtain a picture of said automobile. The “TwinkMobile” claimed another man, this time not in the homosexual way in which Bieber is accustomed.

    When confronted with this tragedy, Bieber didn’t apologize, instead deflecting the blame onto the photographer, and then going off to smoke on some marijuana cigarettes.

    Bieber, “grieving”  over the death he caused by smoking a giant marijuana cigar blunt, which is often mixed with PCP.

    Justin Bieber is a horrible, horrible role model, a drug user, and a homosexual gay. His fans, “Beliebers” are the most uneducated, idiotic group of desperate fans in the world. They hang on every word that falls from the Lil Twink’s mouth, delusional beyond logical explanation. They think that Justin Bieber CARES about them, and isn’t preoccupied on when his next hit or toke will come, and how he will spend his time on the “Bait Bus.”

    FACT: Justin Bieber causes his fans to do dumb things, like mutilate themselves. His fans recently launched a “Cut For Bieber” Twitter campaign, where they encourage one another to cut their limbs in a Gothic, Marilyn Manson fashion in order to “show support” for getting Bieber to stop sucking on bongs.

    Let’s end this Justin Bieber nonsense once and for all. Please write your local congressman and encourage him or her to BAN Bieber from performing in your area. This will save our women from wanting his seed, and men from dressing like this dim-wit imbecile.

    Mark E. Figs is a licensed Marijuana destroyer and decorated street performer. His recent one-man show “BIG NUTS” sold out four consecutive months at a small theater in Chicago.

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    About The Author
    Mark E. Figs Mark is an award-winning children's author, and Christian Conspiracy Theorist can be found on Facebook and Twitter -- (Mark E. Figs)

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