As we draw closer to the illegal inauguration of the Foreign Autocrat, colloquially known as King Obama the First, it doesn’t take a successful businessman to realize that America is in dire straits. Patriots anxiously refresh Drudgereport, clinging to their guns and religion as Obama’s New Black Panthers fan out into various pockets of Real America. Left-Wing media puppets dominate the airwaves, lambasting traditional practices such as Freedom and Liberty, while the unholy alliance of guilt-ridden liberals and undocumented illegal immigrants has permanently damaged our electoral institutions. But I am not here to comment on 2012’s unprecedented incidence of voter fraud, nor will I speculate as to the whereabouts of Karl Rove (my sources tell me he is in good health at a secure location). Yes, according to the history books, as they are now written, we “lost” the last election, and as we speak Chinese nationals are drafting their plans for a second, third, and possibly never ending Obama term. Followers of Reagan, we can no longer waste precious time licking our wounds, and though the prospects of a Rubio-Ryan ticket are as titillating to me as it is to any rational person; we cannot wait any longer for the change this country needs. We must move forward.
What this nation needs is a revitalization of spirit. A return to the notion that a hard day’s work should equate to an equal amount of take-home pay. A place in which job creators are treated with the respect and leeway that they deserve, and men and children are able to keep and bear arms without the fear of tyrannical intervention. What we need is hope and inspiration, an earth shattering light to cleanse out the darkness lurking inside the White House. To quote one of my favorite movie tradesmen, “I think it is maybe time … what do you think, for maybe a businessman. How about that? A stellar businessman!”
Hindsight is 20/20, and in retrospect it would have been more prudent to secure our polling stations by increasing the number of senior citizens and armed guards. Tragically, we must now admit that there is a strong possibility that Mitt Romney will never become President. It is a cruel irony that the most Reaganesque Presidential candidate since Ronald Wilson Reagan was outdone by the very Totalitarian Social-Welfare State that our Founders had envisioned when they wrote the second amendment .
Romney will never sit in the Oval Office. We’ll never get to see his five sons and all their saintly children frolicking in the White House Lawn while Ann dishes out her world famous M&M cookies. It may even be decades until we see more jobs, better take-home pay, and a military so strong that no country in the world would dare refuse us. In a time when we need a truly American President, Mitt was it, and the task that lies before us is more pertinent than ever. We must never forget the way he made us feel; his passionate love for all things American, his righteous indignation towards the lamestream media, and how could we ever forget the time he wiped the “President’s” stupid smile right off of his dumb face during the first debate.
On this day, we are all Mitt Romney, and I pray you will join me in vowing to continue on his legacy. Be it government mandated contraception, the unconstitutionality of Obamacare, the real story behind Benghazi, or the Apology Tour, we must pursue all these issues from every angle with the same ferocity, passion, conviction, and integrity that Mitt gave us every day on the campaign trail. For even though the battle may be over, the war is not yet lost, and if there was one thing President Romney taught me it was this: With Clear Eyes, and A Full Heart, We Can’t Lose.