• Iran Responds to Argo By Selling $1 Bootleg Copy in Streets, Force Ben Affleck To Shave His Beard

    February 26, 2013 11:38 am 6 comments
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  • Iran wants war with America.

    Today they have further proved this fact by attacking our new golden boy Hollywood director, Ben Affleck.

    Affleck won movie of the year for his direction of Argo, a story about how American freedom is for all the lesser countries.

    Argo takes a painful look at the fate of six American hostages of Iran, besieged at the US embassy in 1979.

    The movie is so accurate and proves why America’s war in Iran and taking of our oil they owe us there is justified.  Iran knows this fact and is scared to show their public, because when a Republican wins the White House in 2016, it will be bombs away and the Iranians will just nod, knowing why America is so angry with them after watching this cinematic tearjerker.

    In a defiace against big Hollywood, the Iranian government has vowed to ‘bootleg the DVD’ and sell it for “$1″ in their streets.  I personally think we should accuse Iran of piracy if that is the case, fly in there with some stealth bombers and a Navy SEAL team, and then lock up Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and all his little Pirate Bay cronies with Kim Dotcom until they learn the true meaning of trickle down economics.

    Iran was jealous of Affleck’s success and the movie, because it was about how terrorists must be conquered and cannot be bartered with at any time.  Argo is brilliant and the fact that it infuriates Iran so much, proves why it was the sure choice for Oscar winner.

    Unfortunately, reports that Iran is holding the ‘master copy’ of Argo ransom may be true.  Today, Affleck was proported the cut off his Iranian styled beard.  Ahmadinejad issued a warning to Affleck, stating if he did not ‘shave off the holy beard in shame’ that he would personally burn the original copy of the film.  It remains unconfirmed how Iran was able to obtain the film’s master copy.

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    About The Author
    Pat Heinkel Pat Heinkel is the senior church organist for Shellington Pres., where he also proudly serves as a volunteer firefighter, distinguished lecturer and has the town's (maybe region!) largest collection of Coleoptera. Email Pat

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