Third World Bus Mission: Detroit
The buses in Third World countries like Detroit are not as nice as the buses in America.
As many of you know, I have recently been on a World-wide missionary trip. I have traveled to many faraway and exotic lands, bringing clean drinking water, technology and, of course, Christianity to the squalor of these third world countries. The truly amazing thing about these places is how happy people are, despite all of the horrible conditions that they have to live with on a daily basis. Personally, if I had to live in the type of “Hell on Earth” that people in places like Detroit or East L.A. do on a daily basis, I would not be as cheerful as they seem to be.
The first thing that I noticed was the appalling conditions of public transportation in these places. As you might recall, I don’t believe that public transportation should even exist anymore. You can read about that here The conditions that these folks suffer through on a daily basis are even worse than normal though. Imagine going to a large concert that only had one Port-a-Potty, but that one had 200 seats inside of it, that is what these buses in Detroit were like.
While I was waiting at my predetermined stop for the bus that we had rented for this mission trip, I looked around at the culture of this place. On that street, there were 5 liquor stores, 4 chicken shops and 12 gun stores. The others waiting for the bus at this stopped had an overwhelming smell of fried chicken, watermelon, gunfire and meth marijuana. Thankfully, I had opted to keep 3 members of my security team with me at the stop this time, rather than spreading them out along the route to weed out any trouble makers. If I hadn’t kept them with me, I surely would have been mugged, raped, murdered and then raped again. I could see these tribals lusting after, not only my very fit body, but also my massive wallet that was full of cash due to the fact that Third World countries like Detroit do not accept American Express or Visa cards. Even with my extra security members by my side, I didn’t feel completely safe due to a Muslim Terrorist also waiting for the bus. It was clear that she was hiding something, possibly nuclear, under her burka. Why else would she only allow her eyes to be seen?
Thankfully, the bus arrived before that Muslim woman was able to detonate her nuke, and she was waiting for a different route. I immediately called Homeland Security after I boarded the bus, and had her detained for questioning, of course.
Once on board the bus, the smell of AIDS, Ebola, malt liquor and bodily fluids instantly hit my nose. Luckily, I had seen a reality television show called CSI where the investigators used Vick’s Vap-o-rub under their noses to mask the odors of dead bodies. It almost covered this atrocious stench too.
I surveyed what I would be dealing with on this particular bus mission trip. It was a complete smorgasbord of multiple cultures. There were tribals(I probably shouldn’t have chosen a stop so close to KFC), muslims, jews, and chineses of all types from Japan, Korea, Vietnam and Thailand. They were even a few gays.
One of the gays on my bus
After I surveyed the situation and noted some questionable suspects to my security team, who they promptly removed from the bus at the next stop, I proceeded to explain to everyone on board that this would be the last stop until my sermon had concluded. At that point, there was so much screaming of joy and adulation that I couldn’t really understand any of the hundreds of compliments and joyous quotes people were showering on me, but I could see that they truly wanted to hear the word of God on that day.
I decided that due to the multi-cultural situation that I was in, I would discuss something that has affected every single one of these communities, slavery. Slavery has always been a favorite subject of mine to study, and it still happens today in Third World places, so I felt like this topic would help fill the gap between our species. The Bible is very clear about slavery, and should be used today in the workforce as a guide about when it is proper to fire an employee.
First off, let me explain that the Bible and I are not using the term “slavery” or “slaves” in the horrible way that it was used to describe the Afro-Saxons before the great Republican named Abraham Lincoln set them free, but it is used as a term for an employee or someone who has entered into a contract with another. The word slavery took on a dark meaning (no pun intended) in the late 1700s through the late 1800s. This is a known fact.
My first quote from the Bible brought great gasps and moans of joy from the passengers.
Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ. (Ephesians 6:5 NLT)
Detroit has an 18% unemployment rate, so it is obvious that these employees have not been treating their bosses with respect and fear. It seems that in Obama’s America, people just don’t appreciate what is being given to them. With Obama handing out Welfare checks like candy on Halloween, people don’t seem to care about the pecking order of their jobs anymore. Now they think they are more important than the owners of their company. They believe that just because “Obamafare” pays them more than their job that they can just quit, and sit on a couch smoking Magic Mint Bath Salts or injecting marijuana all day, instead of working hard and moving up in their company in order to get paid more. Respect and fear need to return to the American businesses. We, business owners, have been oppressed for too long now. Four years of Obama giving our employees free money is four years too long, and now we will need to endure it for four more years unless the impeachment process hurries up.
Some of the travelers on this bus trip
My second verse proved that these bus riders understood what was expected of them, and approved of my thoughts on the subject, because they all remained seated with their mouths wide open in anticipation of my next words.
The servant will be severely punished, for though he knew his duty, he refused to do it. “But people who are not aware that they are doing wrong will be punished only lightly. Much is required from those to whom much is given, and much more is required from those to whom much more is given.” (Luke 12:47-48 NLT)
Anyone who willingly is insubordinate, deserves to be punished harshly, but those who do something wrong also need to be punished even if they didn’t know it was wrong. It’s like swatting a dog on the nose with a newspaper for urinating on the carpet before they are potty trained. It helps them learn that it is wrong to pee on the floor. Just like when you give your wife a love tap across her cheek for having dinner ready 3 minutes too late, or for ironing your underwear incorrectly. A few punishments will help them realize they have acted inappropriately, and they will more than likely not do it again.
This black was fired for not waking up in time to get to its job.
My third, and final verse on this bus mission was meant to show all the riders that no matter what we do, we should do it with all our energy, because there is only one true master, God.
Masters, treat your slaves justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven.(Collosians 4:1)
This verse seemed to really hit home with the riders of this bus. I know this, because once I read it and told them it was my last verse of the day, they all started cheering and screaming “Praise the Lord” or “Hallelujah”. I truly knew that these bus riders were ready to enter their jobs and were prepared to treat their bosses(masters) with much more respect. At the time I was in Detroit, unemployment was at 21%, after my bus mission trip unemployment stands at just 18%. A 3% decrease since I was there. Say anything you want about my bus mission trips, but the numbers do not lie.
As I left the bus, many people started cheering and yelling “Thank God”, because I had showed them the error of their ways. Once again, I completed a very successful and helpful bus mission where many people were saved, and only 42/200 missed their stop and were fired from their jobs (probably for being too lazy or for not owning a car).
God bless you all, and stay safe.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Bruce Myron Danus
Years of Mental Gymnastics, and lots of love from Jesus has made this man realize he was not "Born this Way", but instead chose to be a Homogay until he met God and realized God doesn't make mistakes like a homogay.
4:45 am
Holy sh*t… If this isn’t the biggest pile of bullsh*t I’ve ever seen… Wait, did my inner country boy just come out for that comment… Anyway… I… I seriously am stunned at how you can’t see how racist you are…
Women wearing a burka=hiding a nuclear device=definitely racist…
Soooo much stereotyping is going on in this article… It’s overwhelming
Comparing a boss at a job to a master of slaves is so f*cked up…
If your head wasn’t so far up your a*s, you could probably see how terrible of a person you truly are…
Also, they would be cheering because you finally got off the bus and stopped wasting their time…
Detroit and East L.A ARE NOT third world countries… They aren’t even countries! They are cities, if you were such the “gung-ho Yay American” America that you claim to be… You would know this…
Praise or Condemn:
3 
2
5:23 am
STOP CALLING ME NAMES LIKE “RACIST”!!! I am not a racist, otherwise I wouldn’t step foot on these disease riddled vehicles with the Non-vaccinated beings on this bus. Until Obamacare is removed, third world places like this will be overrun by disease.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
3
6:59 am
You just said an outstanding amount of racist things in this article… How blind are you to your own atrocities? Where you see kindness… All thats there is hate… And it’s almost sad how blind you are…
You are Scum… Lowest of the low…
Praise or Condemn:
4 
0
5:52 pm
I’d have to disagree with calling Bruce scum. It’s insulting… to scum.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
6:13 pm
Oh sh*t! And Jonny comes in with a sweet insult! I’d give you a high five if it was possible through the Internet
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:17 pm
It’s like my placenta comment. LOL, I’m not the only one, I see.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:23 pm
except your placenta comment was aimed at Apricot… Who hadn’t said anything wrong…
So, yea… There’s a difference here… Bruce deserves everything thrown at him… People like Apricot, do not…
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:28 pm
I think that a placenta is from higher form of life than scum actually.
That makes the scum comment worse.
However…It isn’t like Bruce was innocent. LOL, he as racist as racist will ever be. He IS a human, though…Definetly not scum. He’s getting closer, though. The dehumanizing process is in full swing. The moment you question another person’s humanity, yours is in question, too.
Remember: There is only one race: The human race.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
6:07 pm
Except I wasn’t comparing a placenta to scum… I was comparing Abrahmsq’s insulting of Apricot (who didn’t deserve it) to my insulting of Bruce (who more than deserves it)…
Also, I wasn’t calling Bruce literal scum… I was only using scum as an insult…
” The moment you question another person’s humanity, yours is in question, too.”
I don’t think that applys to Bruce… Who is so out of touch with humanity that it’s apparent to everyone…
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
7:00 pm
Oh NO!!!
You thought that the “Humanity is questionable” thing was to you! It was aimed at Bruce.
SOOOOOOOOOOO Sorry!!!
I was saying that Bruce was being unhuman when he questioned the humanity of certain racial minorities.
Which goes by the name: Racism.
So sorry for any confusion.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
7:34 pm
Oh… That makes much more sense now… Thanks for clearing that up
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
7:55 am
There was no racism in this article. How dare you claim that I was racist after spending over 30 minutes with those creatures.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
2
9:22 am
Your article is pretty much ALL racism… And you just now in your comment called them “creatures”… You’re pretty much proving my point for me…
I forgot to mention how screwed up the whole “give your wife a love tap” statement was… Lets lump sexist onto the list of “why Bruce is a horrible person”
Are you going to argue against any other points or are you just going to scream “Not racist” then cry about it for 20+ comments?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
4:56 pm
Bruce, do you know what the definition of a racist is?
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
5:49 pm
Referring to them as “tribal” “chineses” different species and “creatures” is racist Bruce.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
1
6:21 pm
When I read “Creatures” I felt a sudden wave of discontent.
Bruce’s ignorance will not relent
With racism so violent.
That’s a rhyme…from my mind.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:31 pm
Racists
Sexists
…Rapists?
LOL, MORE rhymes. They’re getting better this time.
This oddity is a strange commodity…
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:32 pm
What else rhymes with commodity?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:36 pm
Pony
brony
…Kony?
I don’t think that was exactly appropriate…Kony and brony never need to go together in a poem…OR a song. Then again, neither Joseph Kony or a random brony ever be in a good song.
That I would write.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
9:57 am
I live in detroit
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
4:49 pm
Bruce you are a racist homophobic xenophobic bigot.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
5:53 pm
And sexist. Forgot to mention sexist.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
6:52 pm
Do you think that Bruce is a real dude, or do you think that he is just a fake? I hope he’s a fake. You can’t really think what Bruce does.
You can tell that the article is a lie from start to finish. He has no security team.
The guy is a totall psycho.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:47 pm
Now that I’ve got Bruce’s TL;CRABYI (Too Long; Couldn’t Read it All Because You’re an Idiot, I took the liberty of expanding your acronym here Bruce) version out the way on to my proper response.
I would like to point out two things for you here Bruce. Things that should be obvious but you clearly don’t know. Firstly Detroit isn’t a country and before you claim you already knew that, this quote: “The buses in Third World countries like Detroit are not as nice as the buses in America.” shows you clearly didn’t. Secondly Detroit is far from being anywhere near Third World status. It may not be as luxurious as you’d like but it is definitely not Third World.
You can’t hire a form of public transport. Nor can you rent a public bus. You were never likely to get “mugged, raped, murdered and then raped again.” That rarely happens in the real world maybe you’d join the rest of us one day in the real world but I can’t see hat happening. Referring to people as “tribals” is racist by the way and not all Muslims are terrorists. She was probably wearing the burka because of her religious beliefs, like almost every other person who wears it. Homeland Security would need more than just “she was wearing a burka” before acting up.
Again you claim to have come into contact with the Ebola virus quick get yourself quarantined. We can’t have you killing off thousands by remaining in public. Also as AIDs is a virus which attacks the internal immune system it is likely to not have a smell and could probably have lumped in the “Ebola” smell with the “bodily fluids” as the only symptoms that could possibly give off a smell are all related to bodily fluids.
Again tribals is a racist term. By “chineses” what you clearly meant was asian. Again being racist there.
Your security team would not be allowed to remove anyone from the bus as it is public transport. They or you do not have any say over who is allowed on the bus. I fully expect there was screaming involved when you stood up and said you were about to preach. Doubt it was joyous. They were probably yelling at you to shut up and showering you with insults. Very few like to be preached to outside a church.
Slavery is a very VERY negative thing. Always has been, always will be. Yes, it still exists today and that is appalling. Slavery has no relation to that of an employer-employee relationship. The bible does in fact have passages that refer to slavery. That you are right about, but the term means the exact same thing as it meant before Abraham Lincoln set the slaves free. The word slave has always had a dark meaning not just in the late 1700s to the late 1800s. It has always referred to the owning of a fellow human as if they were an object.
Any gasps and moans were not of joy. I believe they were more likely gasps of horror and moans of disgust. It is a taboo subject and from what you are saying it seems like you take a positive look on the horrific subject of slavery.
They were shocked and stunned at your second verse. No one is likely to have approved anything you’ve said on the subject except the christwire cult. When stunned a person can stare at you unable to move with their mouth open.
It is not right to hit your wife for incorrectly ironing something or running a little behind schedule. Doesn’t matter if you call it a “love tap” or not. If you don’t like the way she’s done something then do it yourself and stop being lazy.
Doubt no one was cheering you or what you have said. More likely to cheer the fact you’ve finally shut the hell up. I know I would. Your “sermons” are unlikely t have had anything to do with the drop in unemployment. to suggest otherwise is a fallacy of causation and correlation. The two are unconnected. If they were connected it would be trough people desperate not to run into you again.
People were thanking god because you were leaving. You are the type of person who would get an atheist to prey just in the hope that they were wrong and god would shut you up. You’re “bus missions” prove nothing but the fact you are an arrogant vile bigot. Very few places will fire someone for a lack of a car by the way. It is only really jobs in which you need a car like transportation for that it is important to own your own vehicle. Public transport is good it cuts down on pollution, reduces traffic and is by far cheaper.
Praise or Condemn:
3 
0
5:43 pm
I actually read long posts. I might just be one of the few poeple who takes the time to do that
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
6:42 pm
5 liquor stores, 4 chicken shops and 12 gun stores.
Sounds lke a nice street. I mean when you’ve only got 5 liquor stores and have 12 (Probably great stores) gun stores, you’re in for a good day.
What is a “Chicken shop”? Something like KFC? LOL.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
2:43 am
Bruce is a world hero.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
2
6:49 pm
If you hate the world and you hate what you see,
Then say this with me, FUC.K EVERYTHING!!!
Remeber the old Christwire article about Mitch Lucker? Yeah, you probably do. That was a line from the Suicide Silence song: Fuc.k everything.
Sometimes I can relate.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
7:33 pm
I finally found the perfect fanart crossover: MLP/KoRn fanart.
It’s real.
http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/267/f/b/korn_iii___remember_who_you_are_by_koscielny-d5fq8rn.jpg
That is just downright genius. There’s more of them, too.
I sort of like some MLP fanfiction and I REALLY like koRn so this was just perfect. YAY!!!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
7:36 pm
http://dietrichthrall.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/kornremember.jpg
The original album cover.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:15 am
that must be susan on the bus.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:07 pm
Well I found a type of lyric that is sort of my specialty: Graphic horror imagery in lyrics.
The total parental-advisory sort of stuff. After you write good lyrics that have more of a message: You’ve gotta LET THE NASTY OUT!!!
not afraid of suicide solutions
in the end seeking a conclusion
Load the gun
hope for rapid termination
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s horrible, I know. Cupcakes would be a good story to tell in a horror lyric. I’m planning on doing that one. (I’m not suicidal, LOL, I just get ugly ideas and write ‘em down.)
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:08 pm
Are you mentally stable???!!!
I mean, thats just shocking.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
1:16 pm
Only temporary insanity while writing. Out of this world, out of my mind. I have the gag reflex, so I can’t write that stuff ALL of the time…Or read it all of the time.
It probably was a bad impulse to post that. It’s do-your-bad-impulse-unless-it’s-murder*-or-ilegal Monday for me today, I guess. I AM proud of my lyrics, though. Maybe not that one.
I write some *fun* vengeance lyrics, too. Vengeance on badguys, mind you.
* Did I just insinuate that murder was legal?!
Don’t try it…It isn’t.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:17 pm
It doesn’t pose a good solution for anything…Not even in movies…Or songs, I have to admit.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:18 pm
My mind is a pandora’s box of horror right now.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
5:41 pm
I can so tell
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
7:09 pm
Man, I got out of that violent mood…I miss it now that it’s gone.
Dam.n it’s only a temporary condition while I’m writing. Sudden moments of enlightenment shrouded by dull moments of writer’s block.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:36 pm
I finished “The Murder Song”
I need to find a better name.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:00 pm
I do.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:12 pm
What would you call any band that you were in?
I’m curious, some metal band names are funny.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:40 pm
I’ve come up with a couple cool names. About a year ago I was contemplating using the title “Fey”
A word meaning “wild or crazy acting”, often ascribed to supernatural causes and evidenced by abnormal behavior (cognate to Old Norse feigr, German feige). In Scottish superstition, supernatural abilities such as prophecy (not necessarily related to dying or death).
A common spelling for fay (“a fairy”), unrelated to the previous.
A fairly rare term for “grey” in heraldic hatching.
Or “Frontline December” That had a personal meaning to me and no one else.
I’m now considering a more emo-sounding title…”Whithin A Dying Smile”…But that abreviates to WADS Or WDS if you leave out the “A” “Whithin A Dying Smile” represents my lyrical setting very well. (Where the world of beaty and light collides with raw horror. I write about stuff like that. Happy fantasy kingdoms destroyed, Etc. Highly disturbing material.)
“Heartbreak Ridge” Is my favorite idea so far…However, it was a battle in the Korean War and may have some affiliations that could be used against a conservative band…there was a Clint Eastwood movie by the same name…I’d just say that the group wasa named after the movie and avoid all confusion. I LOVE that bandname!!!
However; I think that “Bloody Ridge or “Triangle Hill” sound like cool band names that were also the names of battles.
“Birkenhead” (A ship that got wrecked) Is also a name that I would consider. It sounds sort of epic for a metal group.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:44 pm
I want the band to have name that sound cool when you hear it…The you-won’t-forget-it-easily-type of band name.
I also like the idea of using semi-graphic album art. Not shockingly gory, just pleasingly violent. Captivating.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:44 pm
sounded
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
4:45 pm
Oh! sounds!!!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:13 pm
So that’s just it, I guess.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
1:29 pm
One of the gays on my bus.
I think that, A guy with low self-esteem might be less of a sterotype.
I mean seriously? You could call that a wardrobe malfunction. Almost.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
7:53 pm
Yeah, you could.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:02 pm
“I think that, A guy with low self-esteem might be less of a sterotype.”
What does this mean? Do you think gays have low self-esteem?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:11 pm
I saw that one coming. No. You have low self-esteem to go on public transportation while letting your gut hang out.
that is my point. You can’t look at somebody like that and say he’s gay
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
8:22 pm
If you saw that coming you might have wanted to phrase your comment less ambiguously.
I don’t see how you can say that that guy has low self-esteem. It could be argued that he esteems his physical appearance far too highly.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:37 pm
Yeah, you got it. He seems to have idea that everybody else will enjoy it as much as he does. Publicity fail. I wonder if he has a job? and if so, where?
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
7:06 pm
You just contradicted your last post.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
7:15 pm
I know. It’s called changing your mind when you see a better idea.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
7:38 pm
Wow. I’m pleased to learn that you have that capacity. It’s something that I hadn’t expected.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:12 pm
Well get used to it.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
9:32 pm
I can’t wait!
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
12:29 pm
Can’t wait for what?
It just happened.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
11:39 pm
If you really want to convert people to Christianity, first you need to stop being so arrogant.
Praise or Condemn:
1 
0
5:58 pm
True…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
5:59 pm
Man, even under a different title comments STILL won’t post…
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
6:56 pm
So, basically your culture is right and everyone elses is wrong, and they either either must change everything about themselves adn be like you or be evil terrorist you plan to destroy America? You spent half an hour on a bus with people with oter religions and beliefs and suddanly your te greatest person ever? Did those people in your picture even give you permission to put their poctures online, or did you not tell them you were taking pictures? Well I live in Detroit and I know many people like that. They are very opion to others opinion and nice people, unlike you. It’s people like you who make me discuseted to be Christian.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
0
2:42 am
Bruce, I am just glad you are safe. I know we argued after I warned you not to go. But as you told me “only Nixon could go to China” you were correct. I am just glad you were safe and none of them nasty minorities blew you up.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
1
12:25 am
I love reading about brother bruces bus missions. I thought my missionary trips to Africa were bad enough, I had no idea that detroit was this bad.
Praise or Condemn:
2 
0
12:28 am
And here I was hoping you had a heart attack and died.
Praise or Condemn:
0 
1