• Award-Winning ChristWire Writer Marcos Figueroa Passes Away in Plainfield Car Accident

    March 13, 2013 10:20 pm 26 comments

    It  is with grieved hearts that we announce the loss of a wonderful writer, great friend, loving father, unique comedian and irreplaceable soul, Marcos Figueroa. 

    Marcos ‘Marky Figs’ Figueroa passed away early this morning after a traffic accident on I-55 in Plainfield, Illinois.   According to CBS Chigaco, the accident took place after the car he was driving became disabled and was struck at highway speeds by a semitruck.  He was lifeflighted to an area hospital, where he passed away.  Marcos was 26.

    Marcos Figueroa gained critical acclaim and renown through various forms of social media, one of his best analyzed works being the deconstructive piece on the pots-and-pan clanker Skrillex and how he somehow managed to win a Grammy Award.

    While we were all shocked and disgusted with how Skrillex could actually win at anything with but a communist Apple computer that could miraculously run Audacity without 50 code tweaks, it took the skilled pen and words of Marcos Figueroa to inspire Reverend Mark E. Figs’ globally famous sermon Skrillex Uses Homosexual and Satanic Influences To Win Grammy.

    To this very day, shocked Skrillex fans cry and shake with horror at the revelations revealed in that expert piece of journalism.  Such was the talent of Marcos:  he always left his audience wide-mouthed, somewhat smiling and with something to talk about for the rest of the day.

    Our friend, we will miss you and wish peace for your family during this time.  You will be missed and can never be replaced.  May angels lead you in, our friend.  And keep them laughing up in heaven.

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    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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