BLACK Veal Brides. My Chemical Romance. Avenged Semenload. Green Charlotte. Billy Biersack. These are the names that strike fear into the heart of every Christwire writer.
Or, rather, they would strike fear into the heart of every Christwire writer was not every single member of the unbreakable Christwire fellowship courageous enough to stand tall in the face of emosexual terror tactics.
For several years, Christwire correspondents have been fearlessly reporting on the emosexual scourge that has been preying upon American children, turning them into darksided mall goths who shoplift mascara and haunt the aisles at Hot Topic with their mournful, suburban presence.
Even the most cursory glance at the priceless Christwire archives will reveal a wealth of top-notch reportage about the emosexual threat:
And what has the emosexual response been? Incoherent rage. Lots of whining, tl;dr screeds about how everyone in America would be dead already if Andy Beersack hadn’t saved their lives. And lots of threats of physical violence from domestic emo-terrorist groups such as the Slash Gash Terrorist Crew and Violent J.
And, of course, threats to have this Holy Site destroyed and taken down from the interwebs.
The emosexuals hate free speech, and a cursory search of the Facebooks and Twitters will find no end of Facebooked groups and narcotic “hash” tags devoted to bringing down Christwire.
The emosexuals think that the sickos from Average Semenloaf (A7F) should be free to sing about sticking their sin sticks into the decaying ladyparts of murdered women, but that Christwire writers shoudn’t be free to speak their wholesome opinions.
Well, tough buns, as they say in the bakery business. Christwire is here to stay, and there’s not a gosh-durned thing that you emo Juggalos can do about it.
** NEW EMO FRIENDS PLEASE NOTE: Comments from new accounts automatically go into moderation until one of them is approved by a Christwire author. Once your first comment is approved you are free to comment to your little black heart’s content.
I do my best to approve comments on my stories, but most of the other authors are too busy doing the LORD’s work to concern themselves with such things. — Arthur