Is My Neighbor A Secret Mexican?
My next door neighbor, exposed as a secret Mexican
I have once again uncovered a secret plot to overtake America. It seems that illegal Mexicans are now bleaching their skin and moving into gated communities with normal humans. While it is bad enough that these burrito eating banditos are sneaking across the border in the millions and creating new “barrios” all across our great country, now it seems that they have infected us in our once pristine communities and are even pretending to be highly paid workers like politicians, doctors and lawyers. We all know that even if a Mexican can fake their way into a good job, rather than picking lettuce or hanging out in a Home Depot parking lot, they will try to stabbed you for a dollar, unless it is during their siesta time.
I was in my backyard, preparing my annual St. Patrick’s Day BBQ, when suddenly I noticed the unusual smell of refried beans and pork brains and tongue wafting through the air. These are smells that I have become accustomed to while visiting the many states of Mexico, like Argentina and Italy, but never in my private home within a gated community. I felt, due to being the head of my neighborhood watch, that I should investigate the foul stench, and what I found was shocking. I had stumbled upon something devious and horrifying that I felt I should share with all of you now.
Some illegals aren’t as difficult to detect, but others are very crafty.
Below, I will list some ways that I have been able to identify, subdue and deport these illegal Mexicans that attempt to portray being a white human:
1. Let’s start with the most obvious one. If your neighbor appears white, but is wearing a sombrero or poncho or both, they are a bleached skinned taco muncher and should instantly have “La Migra” called on them. These items of “clothing” are traditional attire of illegals. However, some of them, with intelligence above La cucaracha have figured out to ditch that attire so as not to be instantly arrested and deported. If you do see somebody wearing these items though, they are 1000% guaranteed to be an illegal and you must report them.
Illegals are always heavily armed, so approach with caution.
2. Their smell is a dead giveaway. If you approach your new neighbor to offer them one of your wives fresh baked pies, and you smell any of the following scents, immediately call your local I.N.S.: Tequila, beer, cigars, refried beans or nacho cheese. These scents are synonymous with illegals. We all know how much the Mexican dictator Fidel Castro loves his cigars, so in homage to him they all smoke them also, even the children. Tequila was created in Mexico to help workers get to sleep during their bi-hourly siestas that are required by the government there. In the Spanish-American War, many Mexicans were too drunk to fight us because of tequila, so we were easily able to take back our property stretching from Texas over to California. (Sidenote: some Mexicans still believe they own those parts of our Country) Refried beans and nacho cheese can be a difficult one to detect, but if you avoid places that are not owned and run by true White, Christian Americans, these scents will be as easily detectable as Muslim Terrorist curry to your nostrils. The hardest scent to detect is beer though. The problem here is, most beers smell the same on a person’s breath. It doesn’t matter if you drink a Guiness or a Bud Light, the scent of your breath is the same. However, once someone drinks a Mexican beer, the scent is very noticable, like cat urine in a clean house. Be vigilant with cleansing your nostrils daily so you can catch these predatory animals that are attempting to steal our country. If you find yourself suffering from a cold, you can use another strategy also. While doing your nightly Neighborhood Watch patrol, if you suspect someone of being an illegal, go through their garbage and recycling bins. If you see taco wrappers, Tecate or Corona beers, Patron or Jose Cuervo bottles, or nacho cheese containers, then you have an illegal there. Approach with caution.
If your neighbor calls soccer football, they are a secret Mexican and wrong.
3. If they are soccer fans, they are obviously illegals. This should go without saying. No American likes soccer. If your neighbor invites you over to watch a soccer game, deport him back to Spain. Even worse, if he invites you over to watch a football game, and it turns out to be a soccer game, you probably have a gay Mexican on your hands and you should deport them, then take a bath in bleach and have yourself prayed over by your entire congregation.
A typical Mexican family going for a car ride.
4. If your neighbor has more than two children, he is probably a secret Mexican. All proper humans know that more than two children will over-populate the Earth and cause us all to starve to death, but Mexicans reproduce faster than rabbits or Irish Catholics married to a Chinese. The gestation period of a female Mexican is between 4-6 months versus the proper White female’s of 9 months. This causes Mexican families to grow exponentially. The elder Mexicans don’t die off before at least 7 generations of children are born. A typical normal white human family will only have 1-2 generations born before the elders die off. If your neighbor has introduced you to his great-great-great grandmother and 1700 other relatives living with him, you have a secret Mexican neighbor.
Can you spot the secret Mexican here?
5. If your neighbor does his own yard work, you’ve got a secret Mexican. Every normal human over the age of 18 hates yard work, so if you notice your neighbor trimming his hedges, pulling weeds, raking leaves or cleaning gutters, you need to get him and his family removed from America. Real men enjoy mowing their own lawns to relax sometimes, but when you work a real job, it can be tough to get to it, so you hire a legal Mexican to do it for you. When you see your neighbor doing all of his own yard work constantly, and not hiring someone else to do it every now and then, you obviously have a secret Mexican neighbor. If you see them taking their family out in the car, and they all come back covered in berry stains, that is a major clue too. Giant bags of oranges along with cardboard signs in their trunk is also a major tip-off.
A secret Mexican tunneling into America.
I hope these tips have been helpful, and I hope you can help us all lower the illegal population by acting on these tips.
Have a great day, and stay safe.
- Sinful
- Suspicious
- Scared
- Sad
- Amused
- Laughing Out Loud
Author: Bruce Myron Danus
Years of Mental Gymnastics, and lots of love from Jesus has made this man realize he was not "Born this Way", but instead chose to be a Homogay until he met God and realized God doesn't make mistakes like a homogay.
2:56 am
“It seems that illegal Mexicans are now bleaching their skin and moving into gated communities with normal humans.”
No, they aren’t doing that. That, and you think that Caucasians are ‘normal’ as opposed to EVERY ethnicity being normal. As for your list, you basically show you’ve never interacted with an actual human being outside of the internet. I’m fairly certain that at this point, your mother has you locked up in a room where you can’t cause any more damage and only communicates with you via text messages and the like.
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3:47 am
My mother died 7 years ago. Why do you hate people so much that you bring up tragedies in their lives, L.N.? I think that bringing up my dead mother is possibly the lowest you have ever sunk. I don’t mind you jabs at me, because I know you are just a confused 15-18 year old in Illinois, but when you bring mother’s into the conversation, I will not stand for that. Go through puberty, then come back here and have an intelligent discussion with us. Until you finish your puberty cycle, I, as well as everyone else here, would appreciate it if you never commented again. Thanks, and we’ll see you in 3-5 years, after your testicles drop. Have a great life, kiddo.
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3:59 am
“My mother died 7 years ago.”
And you just now decided to bring up this information? Got sick of getting called out with the help of your mother?
“Why do you hate people so much that you bring up tragedies in their lives, L.N.?”
Why do you hate humanity so much that you’ll lie about everything?
“I think that bringing up my dead mother is possibly the lowest you have ever sunk. I don’t mind you jabs at me,”
I’ve brought up your mother several times, and you’re just now reacting to it. A bit late on the uptake, aren’t we?
“because I know you are just a confused 15-18 year old in Illinois,”
Where was this information ever released?
“but when you bring mother’s into the conversation, I will not stand for that.”
Except you did at least a half dozen times before this. I guess you just have nothing else to fall back on so you decided to claim your mother is dead. Unless you killed her recently, which is the only reason why this sudden outburst would exist.
“Go through puberty, then come back here and have an intelligent discussion with us.”
Until you’re able to do proper addition, I don’t think you’ll ever be able to muster up enough brain cells to have ANY level of intelligence for a discussion.
“Until you finish your puberty cycle, I, as well as everyone else here, would appreciate it if you never commented again. Thanks, and we’ll see you in 3-5 years, after your testicles drop. Have a great life, kiddo.”
How insensitive! Apparently you hate soldiers who have their lower halves blown off in wars if you’re going to make comments like that!
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12:24 am
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/bestiality/
Sorry I hate to see a man so sad here jack off to something that you like
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12:27 am
how delightfully spiteful.
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8:33 pm
I didn’t know that LN was into bestiality, but there appears to be no depth to which he won’t sink.
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12:26 am
Women can have conversations too and hwo do you know isn’t a woman maybe say once your c*nt moists up
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3:38 am
Dumbass… Simple as that… Bruce… How are you this stupid…
Argentina and Italy aren’t “states” of Mexico… They aren’t even apart of Mexico… At all
Anyone can make Mexican food… Hell, my family had fajitas for dinner… And we’re White…
You knock on Soccer… And yet American Football isn’t even a good sport… Boring as hell… Rather watch Football (as in Soccer, where you actually use your feet)… Actually I’d rather watch hockey over both of those… But that’s personal preference
Number of children doesn’t mean anything… And Mexican women have a gestation period of 9 months… All humans, no matter of race, have a gestation period of 9 months…
Lastly, anyone can do there own yard work… There’s a sense of pride gained by looking over a beautifully crafted lawn and knowing you did it… Just get off your lazy ass Bruce…
There’s so many more details to bring up… But my lunch break is almost over, so I don’t have time to bring em up…
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12:30 am
Rather watch football as in soccer”
You mean footbuol as its written and soccer is such a yank thing to say its footbuol
Humm I realized something I alienated my brothers when they were alive so much that they would avoid me and now they’re dead hmm oh f*ck Allan’s bollocks
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3:40 am
Dumba$$… Simple as that… Bruce… How are you this stupid…
Argentina and Italy aren’t “states” of Mexico… They aren’t even apart of Mexico… At all
Anyone can make Mexican food… Hell, my family had fajitas for dinner… And we’re White…
You knock on Soccer… And yet American Football isn’t even a good sport… Boring as hell… Rather watch Football (as in Soccer, where you actually use your feet)… Actually I’d rather watch hockey over both of those… But that’s personal preference
Number of children doesn’t mean anything… And Mexican women have a gestation period of 9 months… All humans, no matter of race, have a gestation period of 9 months…
Lastly, anyone can do there own yard work… There’s a sense of pride gained by looking over a beautifully crafted lawn and knowing you did it… Just get off your lazy a$$ Bruce…
There’s so many more details to bring up… But my lunch break is almost over, so I don’t have time to bring em up…
(Forgot to censor myself to get past the blocker…had to re-comment)
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4:09 am
Oh joy… Double post… Add that to the list of why this comment system is stupid…
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4:17 pm
The comment system is built to be annoying.
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12:35 am
YOU DO NOT LIKE PEARS wait what about honey dew melons
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12:47 am
I’m fine with honey few melons…
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3:51 am
I despise the comment moderation system on this site more than I despise Pears… And I f$&%ing hate pears… Two comments in mod… Great… Just great…
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2:52 pm
You don’t like pears? What’s wrong with you?!
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3:01 pm
Pears gross me out… I can look at f%#ked up things all day… But I get sick looking at pears…
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4:12 pm
Why…?
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4:18 pm
…Is it the texture? The appearance seems fairly harmless to me…
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4:36 pm
I hate the taste of pears… I also hate the texture… Looking at a pear reminds of both those things and grosses me out
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5:11 pm
I don’t really mind the taste OR the texture…I don’t really love them either…
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5:28 pm
If I was a super villain… I would demand the destruction of all pears…
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6:01 pm
Evil pears…
http://th09.deviantart.net/fs70/150/f/2010/355/7/7/evil_fruit__pear_by_wildchilddreamer-d35d5zn.jpg
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6:27 pm
Kill it! For the love of Cthulhu kill it with fire!
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8:34 pm
pears are disgusting
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12:22 pm
Wait…We look at gross stuff all of the time…And then 2 of us call pears disgusting…Okay…
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1:22 pm
I’m secretly a Mexican.
http://borderlandsenthusiasts.webs.com/photos/borderlands-mordecai-character-wallpaper.jpg
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3:02 pm
You look like a Truxican Wrestler moonlighting as a Dominatrix
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3:14 pm
it’s not what Marcus describe the Hunter in Borderland ?
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3:17 pm
Yes! Someone got the reference!
Yep, it’s what Marcus says to Mordecai on the bus in the beginning of Borderlands
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8:38 pm
That’s because Mordecai is a Truxican Wrestler AND a Dominatrix.
Revolvers are so broken in that game.
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2:17 pm
I prefer Handgun with a sightscopre on it Long time I didnt play it ( last year ) and I wiat for Goty of Borderland 2
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2:22 pm
Revolvers were insane in BL… Especially the mashers… Pretty much a long range mini shotgun… That fires quicker than shotguns…. Add in Roland’s ammo regen and bam… OP
Luckily I don’t haveto wait for GOTY… But I wish I had because it would’ve been cheaper bundled together than the season pass… Eh, I bought the Ultimate Loot Chest Edition… I don’t mind spending money and games I love… Which reminds me that I need to pay off Bioshock..
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7:01 pm
Viper’s were hip-fired mini-snipers for medium range. I made so many heads explode with those.
if an enemy got too close for it, I just pulled out my sniper.
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4:15 pm
Mexicans are now bleaching their skin and moving into gated communities with normal humans.
I’m gonna pound you into oblivion,
I’m gonna make you fuc.king bleed.
There’s no escaping me,
this is your destiny.
I just quoted the worst song ever…But…Bruce makes me feel this way…
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4:18 pm
…Towards Bruce.
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5:10 pm
Today started at 5:38 when my Dad had to go to the ER…Great…Just great.
Bad day 101.
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5:27 pm
…So then I and my brother find ourselves home alone (Home alone is not a big deal, it’s WHY we were home alone) at 5:40 on a Sunday morning wondering WTF just happened.
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5:30 pm
…WE usualy havet at least 1 ER (In our extended family, too)event each year…Every year since 2010.
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6:51 pm
Hope your father gets better… My grandma was in the ER last week, so I know that feeling…
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7:06 pm
he’s okay right now…He was having chest pain…They said that he wasn’t going to have a heart-attack, so that’s good. They sent him back home at 9:00 and we were able to bring grandma over for St. Patrick’s Day.
He has to see a heart doctor later this week. Hopefully, that will be the last of it.
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8:31 pm
I hope he’s doing OK. That must have been horrible for him and your family.
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6:03 pm
Bruce thinks that he and the Bible can define what is “Normal”. He’s not normal himself…
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6:57 pm
The idea of “normal” is a confusing one…
Most people assume what usually happens to be the normal thing… Such as when women were thought as only homemakers and not fit to hold jobs outaide of home… Back then, that was normal… But look at nowadays… Women do just about as much as men if not more…
What’s “normal” changes with time and circumstance… Personally, the idea of everyone being normal sounds boring… It’s the unusual and the odd attributes that define us and seperates us into individuals…
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7:07 pm
It’s the “mexicans” aren’t NORMAL people thing that get’s to me…It hurts to read…
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7:09 pm
MoDeRaTiOn!!!
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7:12 pm
After awhile… To learn how to put aside how insulting what they say… And put more focus into fighting their misinformation…
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8:42 pm
I will never be normal.
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6:08 pm
http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/17qwji27dn93ijpg/medium.jpg
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8:43 pm
okay, THAT’s funny.
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6:40 am
Well you can see from his football photo he has taken a few hit’s to the head causing bran damage so when he typing on his little computer with his feet..
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1:57 pm
Bran damage, eh?
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7:13 pm
That’d be called grain damage.
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4:18 am
Brother Bruce doesn’t deserve that.
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6:00 am
You’re right… He doesn’t deserve that… He deserves far, far worse…
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8:10 pm
What wrong I’m just going my his photo you old timer Amish man from the 1800s. You do it to me so I get to or wait i forget only YOU can call people names and make up crap?
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8:30 pm
Cassidy is obviously not Amish. The Amish don’t have moustaches, ignoramus.
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3:43 am
So that’s just an ass under his nose? thanks for clearing that up for me.
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11:27 am
I love football http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syvcuogwoPw
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2:03 pm
they will try to stabbed you for a dollar
It’s not even written well.
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9:34 am
The thang liberals never want to acknowledge is that while white people were made in GOD’s image (have you ever seen a picture of Jesus, for crying out loud), Mexicans were made in the image of SATAN (mustache and goatee, spiky black hair, forked tongue).
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2:03 pm
Pictures of Jesus are not the actual Jesus considering he was born in an entirely different country.
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3:01 pm
You…Need to get…Urghh…Seriously punished…
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6:58 pm
This is amazing I love this guy but not in a gay way, he should have his on comedy show
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5:02 am
This post just screams:
RAAAAAYYYYCIIEEEEESSSSTTTT
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