Florida Restaurant To Serve Lion Meat Tacos; Bruce Danus Investigates Tribal Murder Of Endangered Species
Recently, in Tampa, FL, a restaurant has come under fire for serving Lion meat in its tacos. Lions are quickly becoming an “endangered” species, so animal rights hippies have gotten their panties in a bunch over this new menu item. Since I am Christwire’s authority on other countries and cultures, they have sent me to investigate this very touchy subject in an objective and completely fact-based way. So, here I am, in America’s sweaty crotch of Florida. All I can say is, this lion meat better be some of the best meat ever since I had to travel here. The only saving grace so far, has been my visit with the amazing Jeb Bush. Hearing him say that he will most likely run for President in 2016, made this trip worthwhile already. Now, on to the restaurant and the humidity.
I traveled to Taco Fusion, a restaurant that is known for serving odd meats like Ostrich, Kangaroo, Camel and Bison in their foods, but as myself and my security team approached this eatery, we were overwhelmed by the stench of hippy protesters and almost had to turn around. Luckily, when entering areas with predominately lower class types, I always carry an industrial size vat of Vick’s Vap-O-Rub. If you place some Vick’s under your nose, even poor people smell minty fresh. If it can cover the stench of a decomposing body, it can usually cover most of the smells that come from hippies and #Occupy protesters. Armed with our Vap-O-Rub and prayers (along with tasers, pepper spray and Desert Eagle 50cals), we made our way to the restaurant. Once we entered the establishment, we were shocked at what we saw.
We entered the restaurant, and it seemed quite normal for a black run restaurant that serves Mexican style food with Tribal type ingredients. There was no loud Hipped-Hopper music blaring, no pimps or drug dealers were obvious, it seemed almost clean too. Once inside, we were greeted by a hostess who was obviously high on marijuanas or bath salts, because she asked us how many people were in our group. A simple count would have told her that their were 9 of us, but she was under some kind of drugs haze and couldn’t count past 1. This initial contact with the tribals running this operation worried me, but due to my sensitivity to lesser races, I continued on. We were seated near the restrooms, which normally I would be offended by, but at this place, I considered it a benefit (less travel time to remove unwanted food from my body). After being seated, myself and my team were approached by the owner of the restaurant. I might have racially profiled the place earlier, due to it being a Mexican style restaurant that also serves food only Sub-Saharan tribals would expect in their food, but I was wrong and will admit it now. The owner was a White man (or that is how he appeared…).
After talking with the owner, Brad Barnett for awhile, we decided that it was safe to order food here, even due to the sin-skinned kitchen staff. Our order consisted of 12 Lion Tacos (also called “Safari Tacos”), 10 Ostrich burritos, and 6 Kangaroo enchiladas. The food was served quickly and with a great presentation.
Myself and my team were quite hungry, so we instantly dove in to the food. Amazingly, even though it was prepared by Mexicans in the kitchen, these food items that were not native to Mexico were prepared great. I enjoyed my meal in a foreigner’s food stop for the first time ever. After eating this succulent and tasty meal, I asked the “White” owner if I could meet and thank the staff for the great food here. He brought me back to a kitchen that looked like a petting zoo in Africa. There was Zebra poop everywhere, monkeys were making sex with anything that didn’t move, and lions were trying to eat any human that walked past them. I am just glad that they weren’t serving Elephant or Rhino steaks.
After viewing the kitchen, I confronted the owner. I have owned and run over 20 bars/restaurants in my life, and his restaurant was a giant health hazard. He confessed to me that he had never run a business before, and due to his father being a black and running away (like most black fathers), he has worked as hard as he could to prove that he is a proper White human. He has admitted his failures, and has allowed my friend to take over running his business, until he can rid himself of his father’s black demon. The restaurant will continue to sell amazing “Exotic” meats, but they will be made by properly trained White people and respected Poachers from now on.
If you want to taste good, legal exotic meats that are cooked properly by White people, visit Taco Fusion in Tampa, FL. It will soon be a part of Bruce Danus, LLC. Enjoy.