• LeBron James Loses Headband, Finally Embraces Manhood

    June 19, 2013 1:43 pm 0 comments

    Like the good, bold beard of King Leonidas leading 300 warriors to defend democracy from tyranny, the hairline of LeBron James has joined the echelons of hair history as a noble leader to the end.

    For many years now, LeBron has claimed to be King James.  But he simply did not earn that moniker, at least until last night, when the magnitude of his power forced his child’s headband to fly off his head, revealing a proud, noble receding hairline to the world.  And it is that hairline that shocked Tony Parker and the Spurs into defeat.

    LeBron James

    A terrified Tony Parker wets his French silk underoos as LeBron James transforms into a man right before his very eyes.

    At first, Spurs fans made fun of Lebron, not knowing the great man who suddenly stood before them.

    But just as Xerxes found when Leonidas revealed “This is Sparta!”, the Spurs now know they have a great battle on their hands.  And with Ginobli’s aging knees and Duncan’s Vulcan-like lack of emotions to power his through the rigors of a game 7, perhaps King James can lead his men to victory and make his biggest fanboy, Magic Johnson, feel all tingly on the inside, more so than even Dick Vitale getting jollies at a Duke pregame rally.

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    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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