Like the good, bold beard of King Leonidas leading 300 warriors to defend democracy from tyranny, the hairline of LeBron James has joined the echelons of hair history as a noble leader to the end.
For many years now, LeBron has claimed to be King James. But he simply did not earn that moniker, at least until last night, when the magnitude of his power forced his child’s headband to fly off his head, revealing a proud, noble receding hairline to the world. And it is that hairline that shocked Tony Parker and the Spurs into defeat.
A terrified Tony Parker wets his French silk underoos as LeBron James transforms into a man right before his very eyes.
At first, Spurs fans made fun of Lebron, not knowing the great man who suddenly stood before them.
Taking off LeBron's headband is like taking off Tobias Funke's cutoff jean shorts. #NeverBald
— Chris Burke (@ChrisBurke_SI) June 19, 2013
LeBron with no headband… pic.twitter.com/1H7ERnUQ7w
— Jeremy (@TheLilTicket) June 19, 2013
But just as Xerxes found when Leonidas revealed “This is Sparta!”, the Spurs now know they have a great battle on their hands. And with Ginobli’s aging knees and Duncan’s Vulcan-like lack of emotions to power his through the rigors of a game 7, perhaps King James can lead his men to victory and make his biggest fanboy, Magic Johnson, feel all tingly on the inside, more so than even Dick Vitale getting jollies at a Duke pregame rally.