First it was Britney Spears who frolicked about Los Angeles busy as ever, with her best Lex Luthor haircut. Then Emma Watson cut her hair short and decided to shine off her beaver cleaver, confusing all ages of men in the process. Now we see the onus of racy responsibility has fallen upon the noticeably broad shoulders of Miley Cyrus.
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Image by Mario Testino for V Magazine
Miley Cyrus is doing the ‘Oopsies, mechanic’ pull here. She is trying to act like she doesn’t know the soft, delicate top half of her firm yet plush tush is showing. This pose sends even the most married of women wild with fantasies of college co-eds and wild purple haired punkrockers tying them down and forcing them to do all sorts of shame, pleasurable things.
A leather sign which reads ‘Miley’ covers a very pert set of cleavage. Topped off by knock-off Corinthian leathers, what man or lady wouldn’t be awkwardly turned on by this?
Here Miley goes with a 90s Guile spike and puts the sonic-boom into everyone’s pants by covering her perfectly round gluteal regions with a spike trap. The euphemism and double-entendre here is beyond rampant and it is clear she is trying to fluster us chaste women and men too. Miley should not be allowed to seduce us like this, as it can disrupt the home and make us think uncouth things.
Here, Miley Cyrus feels herself up and has already started to rip her jeans off. She has seductively pulled the zipper, making you yearn to keep tugging and tugging as she anxiously wriggles out, panting in your ear to ‘taste me’.
These sorts of magazines and image campaigns are part of what is destroying our fine society. We can only pray and hope this magazine is not allowed in your local market, because if it is causing all these problems with temptation within a polled 74% of our female readers, imagine all the harm and confusing of your son ‘frapping’ himself to pictures of a woman’s voluptuous curves nestled beneath a man’s haircut.