• The Big Bang Theory, The Ultimate Atheist Recruiting Tool Reviewed

    July 18, 2013 10:55 pm 21 comments
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  • The Big Bang Theory is the most cleverly calculated atheist recruiting tool of the 21st century. Featuring four zany scientists and their tantalizing neighbor with buxom cleavage, the show bridges the gulf between lust for knowledge and carnality under the veil of 90s nostalgia music, geeky trivia and pop culture humor.  The show is the brainchild of internet website, Reddit.com, the Mecca of Geekdom and over 90% of the world’s registered atheist population.

    The name of the show is actually a double entendre. It is a sexualized geek play on the words “Big Bang”, an absurd theory that purports the Earth and Universe were created 14 billion years ago instead of 6,000. There are a group of scientists who actually believe that the universe started with a Big Bang. These scientists believe that from nothing, a big explosion of life took place. The show is then literally a show about nothing, making it a Seinfeld rip-off and meaning that the always dangerous and smarmy Larry David must somehow have his clever little hands and plot twists intertwined in each episode.

    The double play is that a ‘Big Bang’ is also a sexualized reference, which we will explore more with discussing the carnal characters Penny and Sheldon.

    Theme Song

    The Barenaked Ladies are a rowdy group of Canadian powerbottoms with squirrely voices, ironic lyrics and a cult following, making them the perfect musical representation of this science fanboy show about impossible expectations devoid of reality.  The lyrics of the theme song are a hodge-podge of half-baked theories that whirl by in a blur of armchair scientific rantings, more proof that it was concocted by the Armchair PhDs of Reddit.com.

    While over 80% of the population of the Reddit.com/r/atheism site will have you believe they are edgy Sagan-grade scientists, the fact of the matter is they are actually master keyboardists who have Wikipedia search macro’d to 4 or 5 different keystrokes.

    Dr. Sheldon Cooper

    Sheldon is a man who is pretentious in his sexuality and therefore likes ‘quickies’, thus he is infatuated with The Flash, a muscle-bound speedster for DC Comics.

    With an all-knowing twinkle of smugness and winking sarcasm in his eyes, Sheldon Cooper is clearly the sassy, ironic gay friend of the group. Always wearing a t-shirt denoting his love for comics (perhaps the birthplace of the character’s homosexual exploration, fantasizing about all those squirming, muscular hero men in tights), Cooper grew up in Texas, in a fairly normal household.

    Somewhere along the line, Dr. Cooper apparently realized his hunger for homosexuality and atheism, two common insatiable urges that leave one wanting a career in astrophysics.

    Diehard Sheldon Cooper fangirls will fight and maintain that the character does not represent the secretive carnal desires of humanity, but his habits reveal the truth and then addicts the audience at large.

    Cooper has a love for flags representing a rainbow’s palette of exotic colors, clearly indicating his support of gay marriage and homosexual lifestyle.  Sheldon always has a secretive, upright posture that only occasionally squirms with a knowing confidence, the antics of a man who may have a gerbil hidden in his nethers and is proud no one in the room knows it but him.

    There is a reason Sheldon’s laugh sounds like a stunted breathy orgasm, the equivalent to needing a big sneeze but stopping it short of explosion due to being in polite company.

    But beyond all this, Cooper is a scientific genius and is therefore dangerous, because he does not use any of his brainpower to empower morality and conservative values.  Cooper instead represents the arrogant core of humanity, Bacchus’ delight:  no desire to procreate, complete trust in one’s own brain, and a veiled libidinous urges expressed through his antics and fashions.  His ‘girlfriend’ on the show is just another costume, a sheep’s skin to hide the character’s true agenda to give Leonard a Big Bang at his weakest moment of confidence.


    Perky and plump in the thighs, flirty and impossibly interested in four non-showering Reddit types who are more likely to make up stories about their ‘first time’ in R/Confessions than leave their cat-infested mancaves, Penny is there to teach girls that morality and hardwork is not necessary, you can just flaunt your body to get what you want.

    Let’s face it:  those of us who have spent time on the street, in the real world, know women like Penny do not get into relationships with neckbeards and gloss-eyed marijuana addicts.   Instead, women like Penny are interested in two things:  cars and money, with emphasis on the latter.

    While Sheldon does not have a car, his money-earning potential from curing a disease or finding a new form of sustainable energy is off the charts.  His sexual repression borne of ‘saving his juices up’ for when he finally seduces Leonard gives him a mental clarity, a freethinking mind that can achieve higher than the mind that is constantly spent by moments of pure carnal ecstasy.

    Penny actually started the show with an initial interest in Sheldon Cooper.  Much like an old Pepe LePue trying to baptize a cat in his skunky love, Penny tried on multiple occasions to spread her oft-visited slurping tuna hole all over Sheldon’s flesh whistle.  Of course this worked just about as well as baptizing a cat, since Sheldon is only interested in making Leonard is whining, quivering power bottom.

    Undaunted, Penny has shown an incurable interest in always picking up on other possible sugar daddies all throughout the series.

    Again, these actions cement sense of looseness and immorality into the female demographic who watch this program.




    At the end of season 1, Penny tried to seduce Sheldon one last time with an infamous ‘tooted pucker’ offset.  It is well known that this pose will send a true dominant top into a wild frenzy, mewing aloud and stamping their hind legs like a cat in heat.  This shot did not work at all and Sheldon coyly pinched his nose and sipped his Yahoo!.


    Penny exposes her milksacks to the sexually confused Leonard, forcing him to choose between browsing Reddit.com/r/confessions and telling lies about what he pretend does with his neighbor, or to actually give her money and let her ‘pet him’ in bed.  The storyline never made it clear if he chose the former or latter, which is actually how the situation would go in real life.

    Flowery cotton knits subtly hugging her taut flesh beneath, Penny slightly lifts and lines up her pelvis slit with her powerful, slightly tensed thighs, to please some random guy in a purple robe.  She did this to cure her hunger for constant fleshy gratification, but to also make Sheldon or Leonard jealous enough to take her in as a trophy girl.


    Timid and mousy, Leonard represents the ‘college experimentation’ sorority girl of the show.  Looking like the frumpy, girl-next-door love child of Dean Cain and Terry Hatcher, Leonard is caught in the middle of a love triangle between Penny, who is a gold-digger seeking out a trophy-wife life with any of her smart neighbors, and Sheldon Cooper, a closeted, obsessive homosexual dominant who likes to slowly orchestrate schemes to slowly weaken Leonard’s resolve and confidence in himself.

    Around the apartment, Leonard usually wears oversized shirts, pajama pants and has his luscious hair in post-coitus disarray, the confusing effect of his already feminine face causing uncomfortable twerkings in the pants of male viewers.  The writers of the show are have feminized the character to make viewers sympathetic to Sheldon’s insatiable lust for this frumpy lady who unknowingly flirts with him every day and night.

    Fans of the show often push for a Sheldon/Leonard ship, but the writers are hanging on to that juicy storyline for a desperate sweeps season.  For now, we can watch Leonard’s flirty interactions with Sheldon, how he leaves the ‘roommate agreement’ up for editing of him doing ‘anything’ at all.


    Elevator To Purgatory

    Explain this:  a broken elevator where a theoretical physicist (Sheldon), an experimental physicist (Leonard) an Indian astrophysicist (Raj) and a rocket scientist (Howard) exists in its broken state for more than a week?  This lineup of minds should be able to build warp drive engines and flux capacitors, let alone fix a simple pully mechanism.

    The fact that the elevator remains broken cements The Big Bang Theory’s atheist agenda.  The show is saying that sin shall exist and no matter what people will do, the ‘elevator to purgatory’ remains broken, so there is no consequence.

    We see all sorts of anti-theist themes taking place in front of the symbol:

    Penny trying to induce lust-rising tension in the pants of Sheldon, which she clearly fails to do upon the gay masterscientist archetype of the show. 

    Here we see the characters dressed in their atheistic astrophisting garb, Sheldon with the ‘Cross of Atheism’ which is used for all sorts of weather divining and banally immoral soothsaying.  Even Howard, Raj and Leonard have sinful ceremonial clothing, a charming addition to Penny’s typical skankware and her random ‘millionaire of the week’ she’s seducing.  Notice how she playfully takes off her right shoe in this shot, just to perk Raj’s foot fetish.

    Howard and Raj

    Howard is the obligatory dashingly confident Jewish character of the show:  good looking, great hair, clever one-liners and an unbreakable bond with his strong mother.  Howard attracts normal men to the show with his taste in funk fashion and confidence with the ladies.  His confidence has landed him a wife, a feat none of his other friends on the show have come close to completing.  Howard is there to give the show a bit of credibility, since the rest of the characters are so outrageous and unbelievable it would chase away a normal audience.

    Raj is the Yin to Howard’s Yang.  Comically confused and struggling in America, Raj’s insecurities make him the huggable teddy bear on the show.

    Due to his lack of mastery of Western customs and traditions, it is not uncommon to see Raj get sucked into bed by a healthy woman of strong chin or even worse, to be heard moaning off screen with a red-faced Sheldon likely bending him to his will after another failed attempt on Leonard’s backside.


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    About The Author
    Mike Watson Intrepid, bold and dashing, Mike Watson's investigative reporting prowess is only outdone by his burning desire to restore conservative values and morality to America. With a unique penchant for purity, Mike Watson's TV, Radio and writing inspire millions to know the truth behind American culture. Also on Facebook

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