• All Teenagers Should Get Life In Jail for Baking Pot Brownies

    August 7, 2014 3:08 pm 1 comment
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  • For those of you not in the know, there is a new baking ‘trick’ teens these days are using to sneak the dangerous drug marijuana into their partying bodies.


    For years, we have all been well versed on the dangers of marijuana. It is a hallucinogenic drug that fuels wild orgies and causes one who consumes it to become loose and pliable, their morals melting away with each lung-filled ‘toke’ they take of the addictive drug.

    Marijuana is directly responsible for the recent Ebola outbreak, the rampant rise of STDS during the 1980s and 80% of America’s unemployment right now. These statistics hold true with marijuana only being legal in two states, so just imagine the horror if every US state legalized marijuana. America would turn into a cesspool of sin-marinated bodies sensually writhing in the muck of STDS, jobless squalor and third world filth.

    Teens are just too naive to fully grasp the dangers of marijuana and pot farmers from Colorado are exploiting that naivete. Pot shops are using the secret parts of the internet to sell branded ‘minced marijuana’, which is then mixed in with brownie batter to make these new dangerous pot brownies.

    Pot brownies are dangerous because of instead of being directly smoked or injected into the bloodstream like standard or liquid marijuana, they are coupled with chocolate. When marijuana oils combines with chocolate, the ENTIRE BAKED ITEM BECOMES A GIANT PIECE OF MARIJUANA.

    So the few ounces of marijuana is suddenly over 1 pound of delicious brownie tasting marijuana as soon as it is done baking! This is allowing drug lords to sneak a few baggies of marijuana to teens, mince them up and then magically turn it into pounds of undetectable marijuana by just baking it for an hour!

    Every morsel of a pot brownie is deadly and addictive. You must understand, the full thing becomes saturated in marijuana and the entire dish is 100% marijuana. I cannot stress this point enough.

    In one sitting, your mindless child may eat a good quarter pound of pot brownies and not even know what they are doing until it is too late and they are addicted to marijuana, putting them on a life path of prostitution and poverty.

    All Teenagers Should Get Life in Jail for Baking Pot Brownies?

    The text above is from a fellow ‘colleague’ on this site, in a report he wrote a year ago entitled “The Dangers of Pot Brownies!”

    For those of you who have smoked pot, you know it is not hallucinogenic nor causes all the crazy things Abraham Goodman claimed it can cause. If it were to do so, my college days would have been far more interesting!

    What makes this article relevant today is a story in national media, where a young man in Texas is somehow on trial for possible life in prison for baking pot brownies.

    When I first read Abe’s article, I dismissed it as crazy banter. But today it seems his logic, particularly where he claims that ‘the entire pan of pot brownies’ is magically somehow all marijuana, is being used in this case.

    The backstory is that the young man purportedly baked brownies with marijuana oil in an apartment, a neighbor called the police because the smell was making her nauseous and the police weighed the entire batch of brownies, saying the entire batch counted as marijuana. Of course, combined with heavy chocolate the marijuana oil suddenly weighed over a pound and the young man was therefore in possession of over a pound of an illegal drug.


    Colorado’s economy is being helped by marijuana legalization and my guess is that within 20 years, pot brownies will definitely be a commercial item in many states, if not all of the US. The commercial benefit will be too strong for greedy capitalists to pass on.

    And let me guarantee you, at that point no one politician will claim an entire ‘batch’ of brownies contains 100% marijuana. The label will be more like “Contains hydrogenated marijuana residue” or something that allows them to cheap down the integral ingredient.

    Whatever the case, it is patently ridiculous to claim a few ounces of hash oil can make an entire item hash oil. That violates the laws of thermodynamics.

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    About The Author
    Rachel Aschner-Barsky Former circuit gymnast and now retired from the sport, I'm now embarking on a career in my field of college study: journalism. These guys at ChristWire have hired me and I do not plan to back down for my "crazy liberal" views. Join me and let's bring the biased 'conservatives' down a notch or two.

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