Gays Create Pokemon Go To Destroy Straight Marriage?

Sources are reporting a record number of couples are filing for divorce this summer and blaming the gay-power app Pokemon Go!

[adinserter block=”1″]”What many consumers fail to realize is that Pokemon was created in Japan as a dating game for homosexuals.  Pokemon literally means ‘Pocket Monster’ in Japanese, with pocket monster being euphemism for a male’s reproductive organ,” reports the St. Olaf Conservative Tribune.

[adinserter block=”2″]Pokemon Go! stands for ‘Pokemon Gay Overload!’ or fully translated, “Pocket Monster, Gay Overload!”.  This next generation of the Pokemon series uses suggestive sprites and hides them in locations that are sure to cause homosexual encounters.

One hospital employee reported that Pokemon continually appeared next to vials of morphine, trying to tempt exhausted doctors and nurses to sneak into the vicinity with their phones, take a hit as they tried to capture the ‘pocket monster’ and then let all sorts of homosexuality break loose.

A heat-map reveals that Pokemon are frequently showing up in gay bars, late-night fraternity houses, sweaty gyms, whole food stores and an overabundance in SoHo.  These are all places that are no stranger to homosexuality, so it should be apparent that the game is designed to lure people into a new lifestyle.

About the Author

Frank Meyer
Conservative Republican and believer of first amendment rights.