“Comedy, like a newborn infant, can capture our love by being adorable and wondrous.”

Um…newborn infants are ugly as shit. Seriously, we have home video of me when I was a few days old, and I was butt ugly. I looked like a miniature sumo wrestler. My parents thought I looked like Buddy Hackett and that when I cried I looked like a “foam pumpkin”. I’ve never seen a newborn human that didn’t make me wince from its sheer ugliness.

“He confuses us by being nonspecific. And then he outrages us by never quite being honest.”

That should not be two sentences, it should be one sentence with a comma in place of the period in the middle. It sounds awkward as two sentences, particularly because the second sentence begins with an “and”.

“Why is he here? What is it that he’s pushing?”

Hodgman’s role on the Daily Show is obvious. The real question is why are YOU here?

“Sadly, for many young people today, the right moment to ask these questions has come and gone.”

Have you ever heard the expression “Making a mountain out of a molehill”? That’s EXACTLY what every single one of your “articles” is doing.

“He is an unhappy man.”

And what makes you think that? Last time I checked, Hodgman was in the comedy business. You, on the other hand, devote your life to hating on people. It’s YOU who is unhappy.

“He is a man without faith”

And that’s a problem because…?

“he turned many away from products manufactured by traditional American companies such as Compaq, IBM, Dell and Microsoft.”

Yes, because Steve Jobs is just soooooo Japanese…

“whose parent company, Apple Inc. is an avowed supporter of liberal causes, including “homosexual” rights”

Homosexual is a very real and accepted word, thus no need for quotation marks. Okay, “Stephenson”?

“He posited that computer-based neurological indulgence will mean more for America’s future than the muscle-building hard work that has historically made this nation so great.”

You seem obsessed with “muscle-building” hard work. Exactly what sorts of “muscle-building” jobs have you held over the years, Billings?

“You imagined him sweating profusely under those cheap suits”

Um, no. Just because YOU were fantasizing about his pores doesn’t mean that the rest of the world was.

“His bitter, confused silences drove audiences to pity him.”

Once again, no. That was simply part of his act.

“Crushed by their disinterest, he sought refuge in big words and complex monologues in an effort to appear intellectual.”

Once again, NO. Are you a psychologist? No? Then stop pretending that you know what goes on in this man’s head.

“But the sad reality of watching this pudgy man”

Since you apparently know so much about this man, you should also know that he’s not as fat as you are. So stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Pudgy.

“They fail to see the incredible self-satisfaction and egomania of this media mini-phenomenon. He does not wear his big-brain ideas like the feathers of a peacock, but with that smirk you can tell he believes he is the smartest man in the room.”

Didn’t Elizabeth Lovett already give you a link explaining the saying “pot calling the kettle black”? Perhaps you should review it.

“Behind the scenes, Hodgman chafed and seethed under Stewart’s mercurial management style.”

Either provide a link with proof of that or show us your license from the American Psychiatric Association. Or just shut the hell up and stop making unfounded assumptions into the psyches of people you don’t know.

“while secretly undermining and discrediting him at every turn. Towards the end of their relationship, Hodgman openly sneered at Stewart’s amateurish grasp of issues and rewatching their exchanges today, on topics ranging from art authentication to economics, can still make you cringe.”

That was THE ACT. Why is that concept so difficult for you to grasp?

“He simply wrote to write, spoke to speak. There was no content to his words.”

Sounds like you two would get along great, then.

“He does not present anything positive or helpful to America. He does not contribute to our understanding of ourselves, nor does he promote the ethical wisdom so necessary to guide us in these perilous times.”

Neither do you. All you do is complain, complain, complain. Show me ONE positive “article” of yours.