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    Is Australia To Blame For America’s Recent Drought?

    by Abe - View all comments

      There is a new James Bond caliber villain building up his power in the Land Down Under.  His name is Tony Abbott and I have uncovered one of his main liberal schemes:  rob America of all its water. The sinister plan to weaken America by leaving us all parched and thirsty started in February, when it was revealed Australia’s farmers could no longer farm because all of their water drained off the Earth.  As you know, Australia sits upside […]

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    Butt Covers For Your Cat and Dog Can Reduce Pet Homosexuality by 43%

    by Abe - View all comments

      If you have a cat or dog, you know that the animals have a sickening fascination with exposing their backsides.  Dogs love to do yoga poses at the most inopportune moments, usually sauntering into a room full of dinner guests to do their best ‘revealing mantis’ stretch to make sure everyone sees from where their poop comes. Cats are ten times worse, waking their owners up first thing in the morning with lewd displays of kitty butt and the […]

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    I Am Extremely Terrified of Black People, But I Am Not Racist

    by Amber - View all comments

    The Ghetto is a scary place, much too dangerous for fragile and cute white women to explore! My friends, today you should beware the threat of the ghetto like never before.  As you sit comfortably in your suburban home, perhaps relaxing after work or getting ready to go out for a evening jog, the people of the ghetto are rioting and breeding, wildly spreading and seeking out new ‘conquests’ to devour and destroy. The ghetto is a lurking black mamba, […]

    I Am Not Racist, But I Would Just Like Obama Better If He Were White

    by Abe - View all comments

      Now, let me start this off with a disclaimer:  I am not racist. Over the last few weeks, I have been highly critical of President Barack HUSSEIN Obama.  I have critiqued his policies, handling of important issues to America and showing favoritism to lazy people who have no business living in a capitalist nation if they don’t want to stop being no-good, baggy-pants wearing, baby-momma having mooches in this society. Of course, you cannot criticize this president without the […]

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    Obama Is The Egyptian Goa’uld Apophis, Come To Destroy God and All Christians in America

    by Abe - View all comments

    Richard Dean Anderson tried to warn us years ago, that there are a demon-possessed ‘secret society’ of people who walk among us.  They are called Goa’uld, veiled demons in a human’s skin.  They have special Satanic powers and ability and all seek to rule humanity with an iron fist.  My friends let us be clear, Obama is a Goa’uld.  I have all the proof you need here. If you know your ancient Egyptian history, you will know that one of the most […]

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    President Bush Cures Ebola, Destroys Obama’s Plan To Destroy Jesus and Create A New Age of Liberal Darkness

    by Abe - View all comments

      Late last week, President George W. Bush rushed to the CDC with an entourage of men.  He hurriedly looked over his shoulder, his small dispatch of secret service agents on high alert. In his right hand, President Bush held a small, black briefcase.  There was a cooling unit attached to the briefcase. A sudden raucous appeared up the street.  A fleet of black, unmarked vans sped toward Bush’s entourage.  His men formed a human shield in front of the […]

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    Obama and Eric Holder Help Rioters Loot Stores in Ferguson

    by Abe - View all comments

     Obama flosses his blinged blingy after secretly rioting and robbing a jewelry store with ‘his people’ last night in Ferguson, Missouri. Here we see picture evidence of President Obama being a typical Chicago thug.  Last night, Ferguson police reported that two suspiciously black males wore masks and broke into a local jewelry store. It is no coincidence that Obama whereabouts last night are ‘unknown’ and that his little flunky Eric Holder was also in Ferguson, sizing up the local police […]

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    Ferguson Missouri Outlaws “Being Black in Public”, Shoot 8 and Arrest 93 Blacks For Breaking New Law

    by Jerry Cohen - View all comments

    Ferguson police release sketch of what they think a ‘normal black’ may look like on the street, so that non-black residents can easily identify and report when they see one. Police forces in Ferguson report higher than ever black crime rate after a new city ordinance that disallows ‘public displays of blackness’ took effect early Thursday morning. “The black situation was just getting out of control,” a spokesman for the city’s police reported under condition of anonymity. “There were just […]

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    China Threatens To Invade Ferguson Missouri, “These Human Rights Violations Are Even Too Evil For Us To Accept”

    by Jerry Cohen - View all comments

    Early Thursday morning, Chinese officials announced plans to invade Ferguson, Missouri, to put a stop to ‘the blatant human rights violations being afflicted upon America’s minorities.” Egypt and Iran vowed to send troops and supplies to Ferguson, Missouri, as well, helping to bolster the Chinese invasion of the small Missouri town that is ‘obviously a stronghold of terrorism.” Chinese President Xi Jinping weighed in on the matter, “These Chinese people have made it clear that they find the blatant slaughter […]

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    Exclusive: Barack Obama’s Secret Twin Sister Reveals Herself For The First Time, Confirms Fears We Have Always Had About Barack

    by Abe - View all comments

    Baraka Jameelah Obama, Barack Obama’s older sister by 1 minute and 6 seconds. On August 4, 1961, 53 years ago, Barack Hussein Obama was born to Barack Obama, Sr., and Ann Dunham.  Dunham was proud as she always dreamed that one day she would be a mother.  But as it turns out, she was already a mother, because she gave birth to a twin girl only 1 minute and 6 seconds earlier. Baraka Obama sat down for her first media interview […]

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    I JUST READ THAT CHINA IS 12 HOURS AHEAD OF AMERICA..WHY DIDN’T THEY WARN US ABOUT 9/11!

    by Abe - View all comments

    My anger is riled against China right now! Today as I researched geography to see who has oil we can invade next, I learned from my Googling that the Chinease our “ALLIES” are 12 hours ahead of us! No warning! They knew about 9/11 and they did nothing! Oh my goodness I can cry with fiery tears right now I am so angry. What makes it even worse is it turns out that: France! England! Australians! Japan! Even ISrael you […]

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    EBOLA: Establish Barack Obama’s Liberal Agenda

    by Abe - View all comments

    A commentator named Carlos Jones blessed us all to know the titular line that brought you here today, my dear friends and brave readers.  No matter what walk in life from which you come, today you have gathered here with people from all around the world, because you are worried about Barack Obama and how he is ushering in a new era of Satanic liberal darkness for mankind. All last week, millions of readers tuned in after learning Barack Obama […]

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    There Is A New Drug in Your Child’s High School. It is Called Marijuana Wax and It Is 20 Times Deadlier Than Normal Marijuana!

    by Abe - View all comments

    Heads up parents, there is a deadly new drug on the street and it’s 20 times deadlier than normal marijuana! The police are warning parents with high school and college aged children to immediately have ‘the talk’ about this dangerous new form of marijuana. Waxed marijuana is made from the condensed oils of normal cannabis marijuana plants.  While traditional mary-j is usually smoked, in recent years kids have developed edible marijuana (etc., marijuana Kandies, Devil’s Lettuce, Marcy’s Playground and pot […]

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    President Obama Wields Mjölnir, Is Obviously Not a Christian

    by Abe - View all comments

    It looks like we can add Liberally Dark Son of Odin to President Obama’s growing list of titles. Earlier today, a photo surfaced that shows Obama clearly wielding the powerful Mjölnir, a supernatural weapon created by the ancient Norse people. Much like the ancient Egyptians, the Norse were a warlike Pagan cult who all fell on their knees and worshiped the false god Odin. There are numerous historical references to Odin and it is most likely he was a fallen angel […]

    Should Black People In Ferguson Just Calm Down and Agree to Disagree It’s Okay For Police to Shoot Unarmed Black Teenagers?

    by Abe - View all comments

    For some reason, the black people of Ferguson, Missouri, are so very angry about police shooting them with rubber bullets and throwing tear gases in their faces.   These people need to “Let go and let God.” They need to let God heal their tense, rioting hearts and just go home and get back to enjoying their life.  They have to understand that sometimes, young black men in America are going to get shot at by police and brave neighborhood watch officers. […]