For most 70-year-old men, dancing about and creating a scene in Echo Park in the evening would be grounds for worry.  Perhaps grandpa was being mugged, or maybe he choked on a turkey sandich on rye and EMS had to be called out.  Then you have 70-year-old men like Mick Jagger who refuse [...]

The notorious rapper known as Snoop Doggy Dogg, sometimes refered to as the “Father of Rap”, has finally seen the light of the Lord. Tired of advocating the dangerous hallucinogen marijuana and trying to convince innocent children that disrespecting women with unmarried copulation and shooting nice people for their stereos [...]

A brave lioness attacked a full grown Nile crocodile to protect her pride from the ferocious beast.  And it was all caught on camera. The ordeal started when the pride of lions needed to cross a riverbed in Botswana.  The lioness immediately noticed that a crocodile was lurking closer to [...]

Charlie Sheen quits Twitter today after we prayed for him.  We felt Sheen was becoming addicted to Twitter last week after he posted 5000 updates to his feed about random nonsense.  We tried calling him and then just decided to pray that he would leave Twitter, just like we made [...]

The Chinese have once again tried to cheat in the Olympics.  It was not good enough for them to try to cheat everyone in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, where we caught them: using genetic supersoldiers to gain an edge; using 12-year-old gymnasts to wow judges with the cutesy factor; sneaking [...]

Sunnydale, CA – Area hipsters bask in unwashed glory at their new 666 Park, a new ‘Mecca’ of sorts where they plan to create a new version of religious shedding.  Local hipster James Alvarez reported, “Atheism is just too mainstream.  God hating needs to get back to its roots and [...]

Eyes sooted black by the sulfury hands of Satan himself, Black Veil Bride members Andy “666″ Biersack, Ashley Prettyboy, Jake Hellpit and a native American member named “Puts Christians in a Coma” take a rare photograph. Notice how the band’s founder Andy Biersack “second from left” does not give off [...]

Patrick Scwarzenegger was caught proving that Taylor Swift is one of the greatest Christian young women of modern times. She may even be a better all-American beauty than Amy Grant. In this very patriotic photo, GOP born and bred Patrick Schwarzenegger embraces Taylor Swift. This is how men and women [...]

This past weekend in New York, emosexual band Black Veil Brides started their “Spreading Summer Hell’s Heat” tour in New York.  The concert offers plenty of free drugs and black clothed witch pregnancy ceremonies, which makes everyone there ‘soak up the hot Sun and have thrusting convulsions’, which must make the [...]

Lil Kim and Kanye West smile for the camera as the new couple leave Diddy Riese Cookies in Westwood, California. The outspoken rapper and 90s era Pussycat Doll singer were seen holding hands, their first public sign of affection after rumors of their dating surfaced after Lil Kim’s appearance on [...]

A 500-year-old painting stolen from France during a Black Veil Brides concert in the 1980s has finally been returned to the Jewish family who proved it was stolen illegally. US authorities were able to track the painting to hippy tent in Coachella, where a maurading group of youths calling themselves the [...]

Beachgoers at Malibu, California’s Zuma Beach terrified by beached celebrity, Michael Moore reportedly able to free himself from beach chair after 40 minute rescue efforts. Malibu, CA – Fattened by the greedy pork barrels of liberalism, Michael Moore got an early start to his summer tanning at Malibu, California’s relaxed [...]