Articles by: Bren LangfordBren Langford
Born and raised in SoCal, Bren Langford is currently a student, lifeguard and lifestyle editor for ChristWire Campus Weekly.

GSK Glaxosmithkline Asthma Drug Cuts Respiratory Problems in Half

August 19, 2012 6:06 pm7 comments

Asthma is a post-secondary disease usually caused by dangerous chemicals released in the smoke of illegal drug marijuana.  This hard street drug is smoked, injected or eaten, though the vaporous form of it found in hookas is thought to have a half life of 5 years, destroy the ozone layer [...]

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LA County Outlaws Throwing Frisbee on the Beach, You Will Get a $1000 Fine

February 9, 2012 3:19 pm42 comments
LA County Outlaws Throwing Frisbee on the Beach, You Will Get a $1000 Fine

The classic scenes of beach-goers tossing a Frisbee on a lazy day in Malibu and Santa Monica is now done and a thing of the past.  LA County officials have now made it a criminal offense to toss a frisbee or football on any beach. Los Angeles county has pretty [...]

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KC Chiefs Destroy Greenbay Packersn 19 to 14

December 18, 2011 7:45 pm10 comments

        1 2 3 4 T GB 0 0 7 7 14 KC 6 0 3 10 19 Top Performers Passing: K. Orton (KC) – 299 YDS Rushing: R. Grant (GB) – 12 CAR, 66 YDS Receiving: J. Finley (GB) – 3 REC, 83 YDS Quarterback Aaron [...]

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Rapper Too Short Died

November 22, 2011 11:00 pm0 comments

Twitter is blowing up with claims of rapper Too Short died.  Despite not being surprised learning about the death of yet another gangster rapper it seems that Too Short is alive and well.  The “Straight from Oakland” and “Please Hammer Don’t Hurt Em” rapper is alive and well, joking about [...]

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Occupy Oakland Graffiti at Whole Foods

November 3, 2011 1:29 am3 comments
Occupy Oakland Graffiti at Whole Foods

The #Occupy hippie movement has continued to gain steam, this time spreading its ugly hemp roots in Oakland, California. It seems with the gas prices, busted economy, Iran strongarming America and incompetent democrat president, the 1970s are repeating themselves all over again for America. The hippie #Occupy movement is proving [...]

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Liam Warriner Moons Queen Elizabeth in Brisbane, Australia – Random Acts of Gayness

October 24, 2011 4:27 pm3 comments
Liam Warriner Moons Queen Elizabeth in Brisbane, Australia – Random Acts of Gayness

The Gay Agenda has now joined the protestors of Occupy Wall Street and today made their merger national headlines in a big way.  News reports allege an Australian youth named Liam Warriner was the victim of gay subliminal messaging.  The young man was simply a part of OccupyAustralia and protesting [...]

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The Moment a Golf Fan throws a Hotdog at Tiger Woods…

October 10, 2011 4:44 am2 comments
The Moment a Golf Fan throws a Hotdog at Tiger Woods…

 Reenactment: A golf fan lived the ultimate dream and chucked a hot dog at Tiger Woods, causing the golfer to miss an 18 foot putt for birdie. The moment somebody throws a hotdog at Tiger Woods is a good moment.  After betraying his beautiful family, the golfing word, and really, [...]

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Actual Headline: Cranky Old Man Scares Neighborhood Children Off Yard with Bucket of Urine

September 24, 2011 9:49 pm18 comments

There is not much more that can be said than the headline. An old man got tired of kids with their skateboards and mohawks playing in his yard, so he scared them away with a bucket of something old people can produce with the power of catheters: urine. At least [...]

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World’s First Spaceport Nearly Completed, Built By Americans

September 6, 2011 1:53 pm14 comments
World’s First Spaceport Nearly Completed, Built By Americans

The Dawn of a New American AgeSpaceport America is the world’s first commercial spaceport. As the lesser European and Asian nations of the world fight and bicker over petty things, America has once again forwarded humanity to a new era of wonder and splendor. The United States has nearly completed [...]

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Weird Al Yankovic Launches Perform This Way, Mocks Lady Gaga Born This Way

June 22, 2011 2:43 am10 comments

Weird Al Yankovic is a Christian man who is a member of the Church of Christwire (CoC) in Beverly Hills. For years now we have persevered in letting America know that Gaga is a gender shapeshifter, that is a man who masquerades as a woman even though he’s been given [...]

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Donald Trump and Audrina Patridge To Release Kissing Sex Tape Scandal? Scheming Amway Antics Included?

May 6, 2011 5:15 pm2 comments
Donald Trump and Audrina Patridge To Release Kissing Sex Tape Scandal? Scheming Amway Antics Included?

Donald Trump Slipping Painfully Fast in the Polls, Trying to Slide Back up With Sex Tape Scandal Involving Audrina Patridge? Now that President Obama has killed Osama with one hand and roasted The Don with the other, Team Trump’s presidential campaign team is rightfully nervous. As if it’s not enough [...]

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Japanese Now Using Super Mario for Sacrilege

April 27, 2011 8:13 am28 comments
Japanese Now Using Super Mario for Sacrilege

It is bad enough that every easter, we are forced to sift through coungless images of zombie Jesus from atheists. They bombard the HolyMailbox and we’re stuck looking at image after image of gross disrespect and filth. Now it seems even Japanese are joining in and using their first gateway [...]

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Did You Know Your Apple iPhone and Google Android Are Tracking You?

April 23, 2011 3:21 pm60 comments
Did You Know Your Apple iPhone and Google Android Are Tracking You?

Your Google Android and/or Apple iPhone is keeping tabs on your every movement, then reporting your position back to corporate servers where a profile of where you tend to shop, eat, leave businesses and return home is permanently stored on servers Every day, you wake up to roll out of [...]

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Ghostly Image Captured On Live TV Spooks British TV Viewers

April 6, 2011 7:25 pm3 comments

Britain is experience fearful uproar, after a shadowy image sauntered across the screen of nationally broadcast live tv. British people immediately called into the station, demanding to know if it was some sort of “War of the Worlds” hoax meant for the public. It was not. So what is going [...]

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Burger King Bikini Brawl Rocks Panama City (PCB)

March 24, 2011 11:27 am24 comments
Burger King Bikini Brawl Rocks Panama City (PCB)

What do you get when you mix nasty attitude, bad food and Spring Break wild childs.  A bikini brawl!  In this following cell phone video, savage wildness is unleashed after a group of tourists riot, in bikinis, at a Front Street restaurant in Panama City. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6IqHnW4Lnk&feature=player_embedded

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