Women of America, brace yourselves for epic disappointment. There’s a new scourge upon the land and it’s going to leave you high and dry , or maybe hot and bothered beyond belief. Sexual frustration has a new name and it has arrived on the scene as “Legalized Marijuana”. Ladies, start [...]Read more ›
Articles by: Eunice
Political agitator at Americans for Inequality, campaigned strongly against Vermin Supreme until I cured him of demonic possession. Now we are BFFs. I enjoy the Facebook, crochet and mixing martinis, especially dirty ones.
I'm a lonely widow only seeking to meet new friends as my life is an absurd island of loneliness. I believe in faith and wisdom. Hard work is a staple to a happy, productive living. I swim and do the yogas but for the most part shopping and relaxing at spas keeps me very busy and useful. I'm proud to be a well off American. Scrabble anyone? I'll kick your ass.
Everyone is hard at work making their New Year’s resolutions. I wonder why that is? Do you think it has anything to do with copious consumption ravaged by the average overweight American? New Year’s resolutions are a product of a country in deep denial. The problem is this: greed, gluttony [...]Read more ›
AP (Associated Press) Topeka Kansas. Church authorities are calling the universal group prayer as having a significant impact on Mayan Apocalypse that never took place on 12-21-2012.Today Americans shared a collective sigh of relief that indeed the World’s End was narrowly defeated by the power of prayer. Church authorities around the [...]Read more ›
Have you noticed it’s a little darker than usual outside? It’s no coincidence that the Winter Solstice is on a crash course collision with The End Days as predicted by Mayan Time keepers. That marks today’s sunrise on 12-21-2012 as the official Dawn of Destruction, it is upon us [...]Read more ›
The biggest event of 2012 is right around the corner ; Armageddon is December 21st and everyone’s going! But the question on most lips is what to wear. How you look is going to matter A LOT , but dressing for functionality and comfort will never be so important. As [...]Read more ›
( Berlin, NH) A controversial report from the Institute of Moral Consumerism has brazenly stated that obese children living in the industrialized world are in fact lazy, inactive and unmotivated. Furthermore, the obese in general are self actualizing their own morbidity by opting for bacon cheeseburgers and fries instead of [...]Read more ›
By Eunice W. Trends in social media reveal increased deviant behavior towards animals, cartoons and fantasy creatures. This maladjusted epidemic has infected the bloodstream of our American nervous system, it is unsightly and it aches the heart! Tumblr is a magnet of voracious hedonism, Twitter and Facebook equally self [...]Read more ›
Here at The Institute for Moral Consumerism, we’ve spent countless hours researching the latest hot toys to hit the market, just in time for the holidays. The ladies at church ask, ” Eunice, why would you spend eight weeks locked in a cellar with 3,000 inappropriate toys?” Why, you [...]Read more ›