It  is with grieved hearts that we announce the loss of a wonderful writer, great friend, loving father, unique comedian and irreplaceable soul, Marcos Figueroa.  Marcos ‘Marky Figs’ Figueroa passed away early this morning after a traffic accident on I-55 in Plainfield, Illinois.   According to CBS Chigaco, the accident took place after the car he was [...]

America’s secret ally in the oil war has finally succumbed to ‘illness’, most likely caused by esponiage from the Soviets.  Hugo Chavez died yesterday from a rare form of cancer that the KGB is known to inflict upon its politial enemies.  It is no coincidence that the South American strongman [...]

Atheists have gathered in their little coven on HuffingtonPost, a dangerously liberal site ripped away from our late Christian friend Breitbart.  Today’s liberal agenda on the site not only proves why atheism is such a dangerously flawed way of thinking, but also why America’s schoolchildren are falling behind morally Christian [...]

The screenshot is included up above, because many of you radical democrats will try to deny what your socialist president has created.  There is now a Food Stamps for Pet program that allows irresponsible people to adopt pets, then force American taxpayers to pay for them. The number of people [...]

Our band takes a look at how life will be if you vote for Mitt Romney today. America faces a crucial crux point in history.  We can choose to vote a socialist named Barack Obama into office, who will assure all people are treated equal, everyone (even the poors) are [...]

Only a day before the 2012 elections, our crack investigative team at Christwire has come upon the most devastating fact against Obama. The onus of responsibility is great here, because the nation needs to know that Obama is supporting a group of men who call themselves the bronysexuals, a group [...]

With those beautiful smiles and perfectly coifed hair, we should have known the men of Full House were promoting a secret brand of lesbianism. On the surface, Full House was a show about a clean cut family of loveable men who would do anything to properly raise three beautiful American [...]

Tampa Bay is spared and not struck by Hurricane Isaac, GOP Convention creates passover miracle. Another ancient styled miracle has taken place at the new age Holy of Holies, the GOP convention. Hurricane Isaac is bearing down upon America, but there is one city that was spared. Just like the time [...]

  [dropcap]A[/dropcap]dorned in fabrics of emerald and gules, Barack Hussein Obama manifests his power to create a Satanic solar flare, in the palms of his hands.  Obama is doing this to intimidate Mitt Romney and moral voters away from the polls this November.  As predicted in the Bible, Obama is [...]

Now that America has shown dominance on Mars, all other countries are Jonesing for what’s not theirs.  We’ve got to protect our assets.  Greedy nations will try to make UN demands that we let them tag along on our joy ride on another planet.  For this reason, we need to buck [...]

TV’s George Jefferson is dead at 74. Sherman Hemsley was found dead at his home in El Paso, Texas, by his maid. Though the cause of death is not currently being released, his maid simply thought that the renown actor was simply sleeping in. Jefferson’s tough-guy, sharp wit persona saw [...]

The children of Israel ran and screamed with panic after atheists unleashed their false god, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, over the birthplace of Christianity.  The FSM beast is able to duplicate the powers of the atheist created Large Hadron Collider, siphoning the souls of Christian and Jews (what atheists call Higgs Boson [...]

Eyes ablaze with the spirit of Satan himself, a six-foot tall lizard is wrecking havoc in the Colorado countryside.  Summoned by a musical band of atheist scientists calling themselves The Dragonforce, the lizard to date has only made the Colorado wildfires worse and has viciously consumed forests, cattle and even humans who [...]

  Homosexual superscientists have used their naturally duplicitous minds to unleash the most nefarious plot upon the normal population.  Using a bizarre mix of advanced genetics and immoral gene splicing, the gays have created a mutant mosquito that can transmit homosexuality with one bite.  This summer, all of us are [...]

S.W.A.G. = Someone Who Admires God, and Other Things Atheism Has Stolen from Christians S.W.A.G.  Today, atheists, black danger gangsters and delusional teeny-boppers think this term means glittery clothing, fancy cars, diamond rings and blingady-blingady.  But as we Christians know, these are all superficial, removable things.  Like many terms and [...]