Articles by: Wes F

L.A. to Host Dangerous Knife Party and Major Lazers in Honor of Day of the Dead

September 15, 2012 9:24 pm38 comments
L.A. to Host Dangerous Knife Party and Major Lazers in Honor of Day of the Dead

Just when you thought the Knife Party fad started by Ecstasy Daily Carnalval was over, it’s back this Halloween to claim more young teenagers’ lives. But this time the wild stabbing fest will be held for an even more sinister reason, not just to entertain a bunch of sick, perverted [...]

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Songs of Praise — 5 Family-Friendly Electronic Dance Music Tracks Inspired by Jesus Christ

August 28, 2012 12:54 pm85 comments
Songs of Praise — 5 Family-Friendly Electronic Dance Music Tracks Inspired by Jesus Christ

Five family-friendly Eletronic Dance Music diddies that your kiddies will love.

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ChrisTWire Appoints First Deputy Detective of Sarcasm To Root Out Atheist Sentiments

August 12, 2012 11:50 am101 comments
ChrisTWire Appoints First Deputy Detective of  Sarcasm To Root Out Atheist Sentiments

It has been brought to our attention over the past few weeks that there may or may not be undetected instances of sarcasm on ChrisTwire. For those of you not familiar with sarcasm, it is an atheist weapon that infiltrates God-loving discussions posing as genuine concern. It then proceeds to [...]

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‘The Dark Night Rises’ Fills Plot Holes With Virulent Butt Shots and Transgender Propaganda

July 27, 2012 11:35 pm203 comments
‘The Dark Night Rises’ Fills Plot Holes With Virulent Butt Shots and Transgender Propaganda

If you are planning on seeing the Dark Night Rises, don’t. It is a terrible film, I wish I had seen Ice Age instead.  The entire movie centers on Bruce Wayne and his older husband, Alfred, breaking up and getting back together at the end. I hardly ever got to [...]

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Mitt Romney — Combating Homosexuality One Haircut at a Time

June 19, 2012 7:57 am59 comments
Mitt Romney — Combating Homosexuality One Haircut at a Time

The liberal press has been all over Brother Romney lately for a couple of innocent pranks he pulled of some queer boys in high school. These Obamaphiles just love to paint ol’ Mitty into a corner — first he’s an evil millionaire, then he’s a fringe Mormon, and now a [...]

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EDC 2012 Knife Party – Ensured Death of Children

June 1, 2012 7:44 pm267 comments
EDC 2012 Knife Party – Ensured Death of Children

As some of you may have heard, the homorave community will be holding their annual caucus in Sin City this June. “EDC”, Ecstasy Daily Carnalval, is a glow-in-the-dark freak show that young drug addicts and worshippers of Satan attend annually to cover themselves with others’ bodily fluids and crystal methamphetamines. [...]

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‘One Direction’ uses Facebook to distribute coital invites

May 20, 2012 4:26 am163 comments
‘One Direction’ uses Facebook to distribute coital invites

One Direction (or 1D for their brain-washed fans) is a bisexual British boy band founded for the sole purpose of deflowering and sodomizing our children. Like costumed wolves, they slink through God’s lambs sewing their unholy English seed. As their name suggests, One Direction will stop at nothing to explore [...]

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