Women of America, brace yourselves for epic disappointment. There’s a new scourge upon the land and it’s going to leave you high and dry , or maybe  hot and bothered beyond belief. Sexual frustration has a new name and it has arrived on the scene as “Legalized Marijuana”. Ladies, start [...]

My Comrades: I’m here to report that a recent release of new pokemon games by Nintendo Studios has all of the fans of the popular game series in an uproar! Nintendo Studios has released the new pokemon games X, Y, and Rainbow coming the late fall of 2013. Parents, this [...]

My friends, This is a sad day for this poor man’s body found encased in concrete. What a horrible death. I persoanlly send my condolences to the victim’s family and friends. This is truly a horrible crime to do. Who in their right mind buries someone in concrete? Here’s more [...]

  Have you noticed it’s a little darker than usual outside? It’s no coincidence that the Winter Solstice is on a crash course collision with The End  Days as predicted by Mayan Time keepers. That marks today’s sunrise on  12-21-2012 as the official Dawn of Destruction, it is upon us [...]

  By Mark E. Figs  (Earl Sweatpants on the left, upset that he has to be the “bottom” or receiver of penis, for Tyler the Creator, AGAIN)   I really wish I didn’t have to do this. I really wish I didn’t have to write ANOTHER article exposing the recklessness of young [...]

by Mark E. Figs (Pizza Pizza!, he thinks.) Obese hate-monger and anti-American Godless man of filth, Hugo Chavez is facing the ill effects of chastising the greatness of America, as he suffers another cancer-related setback. It’s apparent that God is punishing this disgusting Socialist heathen for speaking ill of Christ’s [...]

My most loyal comrades: Mitt Romney said at the presidential debate, “Rape is ok.” I must voice against this and counter him by saying that, No, it is not ok. Make sure this man does let Rape run the country. If you want your wives, girlfriends, and even daughters raped [...]

My most loyal comrades, I bring you the most troubling news! I’ve only just discovered a Wiccan page on facebook by mistake so I thought I’d warn you about it before you or your children/teens stumble upon it. The dreaded page in which I speak of is called, ‘Legend of [...]

My most loyal friends, I bring you some shocking news from the world around us and even the moon. Recently NASA Scientists have found, using their Hubble Telescope, a particularly interesting crater. The crater is described as the ‘Cookie Monster Crater’. This is rightfully so. The image is uncanny to [...]

By Mark E. Figs “Come sit next to me so I can have sex with your mouth, child — a subReddit.” The days of Christian chat-forums are long past. No longer can followers of Christ get together and piece and discuss our favorite Bible verses or share our George W. [...]

by Mark E. Figs Islam is a religion built on hate and terror and the days of Muslim bullying must come to a screaming, bloody halt. Muslims are upset that Pastor Terry Jones has the courage to reveal their prophet Muhammed as a disgusting, worthless pedophile and responded not with [...]