Reject Heathen Homo Science, Only Priests Can Deal with Mildew

June 13, 2011 4:44 pm51 comments
Reject Heathen Homo Science, Only Priests Can Deal with Mildew

All Scripture is holy, and to disobey it is sin. Yet, for some reason, many who call themselves Christians do not follow the Word of God to the letter, as He intended. Sometimes Scripture can be interpreted in different ways, and Christwire helps foster the dialogue on those issues by [...]

Read more ›

Announcing Alex Keating For President 2012: Down With Homogay!

12:12 pm56 comments
Announcing Alex Keating For President 2012: Down With Homogay!

Due to a lack in Christianity in the Republican field of presidential hopefuls, I have been forced into making an announcement. Last week myself and the award winning staff here at Christwire formed an exploratory committee delving into the possibility that I, Alex K Keating, will seek the Republican nomination [...]

Read more ›

Blake’s Plate Episode #5 – Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Parental Alert

May 26, 2011 7:22 pm8 comments
Blake’s Plate Episode #5 – Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Parental Alert

After Tyson Bowers III’s in-depth reporting on the dangers of Assassin’s Creed Revelations and how it is turning kids into anti-Americans. I decided to create a quick video explaining to parents once again how this game can turn their son into a future killer, gay sexual deviant or devil worshiper. Psst, follow me [...]

Read more ›

$1,515 Charred Flag Shirt Could be Worn to Next US State Dinner – Stop Embarrassing Us FLOTUS!

May 13, 2011 10:44 pm8 comments
$1,515 Charred Flag Shirt Could be Worn to Next US State Dinner – Stop Embarrassing Us FLOTUS!

My rockets red glare when I saw this $1,515 silk shirt depicting the burnt symbol of our American Heritage for sale on the interwebs by none other than the French designer house, Balmain’s. The tank is silk with faded prints of what is the American flag, held by safety pins [...]

Read more ›

The Rebels in Star Wars Inspired Bin Laden Terror and 9/11

May 12, 2011 5:59 pm122 comments
The Rebels in Star Wars Inspired Bin Laden Terror and 9/11

During the recent raid of Islamic headquarters in Osama bin Laden’s top-secret Abbottabad compound by American forces, many secret documents and computers were confiscated. Computer forensics have been finalized on the hard drives found in Bin Laden’s private room and they have revealed a trove of wealth about the 21st [...]

Read more ›

Are Prayers are Better than Money for Victims of Disaster? Why of Course!

May 11, 2011 10:19 pm40 comments
Are Prayers are Better than Money for Victims of Disaster? Why of Course!

While everyone was cheering the death of Osama bin Laden, the south was hit with deadly tornados and the mid west Mississippi was flooded. Rep. Randy Neugebauer (R-Tex.), Stevan Pearce (R-N.M.), Doug Lamborn [R-CO5] and Spencer Bachus (R-Ala.) are co-sponsoring and seeking additional sponsorship for H. Res 254, a straightforward [...]

Read more ›

White House Drug Deal or Challenge Coins?

May 9, 2011 11:26 am8 comments
White House Drug Deal or Challenge Coins?

Watch and decide.

Read more ›

Silly Bandz: The Secret Sexual Agenda

May 6, 2011 6:05 pm62 comments
Silly Bandz: The Secret Sexual Agenda

Millions of Americans are caught up in a new cult craze: Silly Bandz. What are Silly Bandz? Silly bands are colored Mexican rubber bands made by the Chinese in various shapes. They are then shipped to the states to be sold at extreme pricing to teens and celebrities to be [...]

Read more ›

Can Selling Arizona to Mexico Reduce the Deficit and Give Tea Party™ Activists a Holy Land?

12:54 pm18 comments
Can Selling Arizona to Mexico Reduce the Deficit and Give Tea Party™ Activists a Holy Land?

As many Tea Party™ supporters have noted, the government budget is much like a household budget. We cannot spend more than we earn and entitlements such as a nice place to vacation or a lovely view may not be affordable with our pocketbooks already challenged by creating jobs with deep [...]

Read more ›

Mormons Criticize Broadway’s “Book of Mormon” 14 Tony Award Nominations

May 3, 2011 1:31 pm11 comments
Mormons Criticize Broadway’s “Book of Mormon” 14 Tony Award Nominations

Mormons across the nation are hitching up their temple garments and setting their jaws tight for a fight over this year’s announcement of Tony Award nominates from New York’s homosexual Broadway theater community. “The Book of Mormon – the Musical”, described fondly in the press as a gentle exploratory palpitation [...]

Read more ›

Rapture Begins Pigs Fly: Rush Limbaugh Praises President Obama

May 2, 2011 2:33 pm3 comments
Rapture Begins Pigs Fly: Rush Limbaugh Praises President Obama

Has the rapture started? Rush Limbaugh, yes that Rush, has been quoted in the media PRAISING the President Who Is NOT President Bush™ for singularly being qualified and successful in the capture and elimination of Osama Bin Laden. We must remember God works in myserious ways. “President Obama has continued [...]

Read more ›

Did Being Left Handed Lead to Osama Bin Laden’s Demise? New Study Says “YES!”

10:40 am25 comments
Did Being Left Handed Lead to Osama Bin Laden’s Demise? New Study Says “YES!”

Conventional wisdom has always held that left handed people are insistent braggarts, roust abouts and militant terrorists that cause problems and issues for manufacture of common tactile items such as scissors, surgery utensils, weapons against the infidels and writing instruments. Scientists now claim in one study, which supports the demise [...]

Read more ›

Study Proves Atheists are No Good Cheaters?

May 1, 2011 11:31 am51 comments
Study Proves Atheists are No Good Cheaters?

A recent unbiased scientific study published in the International Psychology of Religion Quarterly Journal is believed by some academics to contain clear evidentiary proof of the long held belief that Atheists and those with viewpoints harnessed by “compassionate” humanist dogma are in fact no good cheaters. The clinical study included [...]

Read more ›

Kenyan Conjoins with Furries Against PeTA (FAPers) in Sexy-time Conga Line Congress

April 29, 2011 3:13 pm9 comments
Kenyan Conjoins with Furries Against PeTA (FAPers) in Sexy-time Conga Line Congress

PeTA, the militant animal activist group that applies a conservative, right-wing approach to left wing animal issues, has amassed a conga line of enemies that rivals African dictators of the Gold Coast. The brand that is PeTA has long championed the “ethical” treatment of animals to the degree of zealotry [...]

Read more ›

LaWeekly Attacks Freedom of Religion: Calls it “a Joke”

April 27, 2011 10:52 pm118 comments
LaWeekly Attacks Freedom of Religion: Calls it “a Joke”

One of the greatest written movies of all time contained the now infamous line: “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist”  The line instantly reverberates to the reader that if Satan ever revealed his true obvious self to the world that he would [...]

Read more ›