Here at Christwire we like messing with Claire. She is a felinesexual and we worry about her. But she is here to mock our religion so we like to pick on her cats. But lets never forget…they are victims too… Only Bruce Danus, Claire’s ex-husband, knows the horrors this kitty has seen. Tonight we pray for this cat.

But I had heard about the bizarre serpent churches located in the rural outlining areas. In the ministry these snake worshipers who called themselves Christians seemed anything but. In fact I recall them being the butt of a joke on more than one occasion.

If you Read the title this is obviously about music that most of christwire hates. Bands Such as Black Veil Brides. Now im not going to bash of christwire because they think there doing the right thing. just like i think im doing the right thing here. Music for me is Everything! A single [...]

We need to keep our young ones away from the influence of Wizards and Satan. It’s a crying shame that I have to even say that in God’s America.

Madonna the 53-year-old pop star whorelot was performing her rancid song “Human Nature” in Istanbul, Turkey, Saturday when she started taking off her clothes. The aging porn fiend first took off her shirt, and then surprised the Islamic crowds when she then showed her black bra, showing the crowd a peak of her lapsing once fertile sins sacks. She then shocked the crowd further by pealing it back revealing her erect nipple to the audience. She then turned around to show the crowd that she had “No Fear” written on her back like a 12 year old emosexual.

Pastor Mack Randall Wolford Dead at 44

May 28th, Memorial Day.  I was amazed at how many people showed up for my annual barbecue that were not regular Christwire faithful. It was still an amazing time, even though some naysayers showed up and tried to “throw salt in my game”.  Everybody eventually settled down and started to [...]

Most of you remember that on May 20th last year, Claire and I were married.  Some people, like L.N., will shout “You’ve never even met”. Nothing could be further from the truth though.  L.N. is jealous that Claire chose me over him, and Claire is trying to put our marriage [...]

“I was standing next to a woman who had a Ron Paul 2012 shirt on when I overheard her talking strategy. I told her that she didn’t deserve to be a delegate because Dr. Paul had lost the primary votes. She turned to me and said, ‘It’s not about the votes, cunt! It’s about the delegates!’ She then glanced at my posterior and said, ‘Although I wouldn’t mind Dele-getting a piece of that ASS!’ I was appalled! How dare these sexual degenerates try to infiltrate our righteous party in the name of free markets and free love!”

I am often asked to explain myself as an Alabama serpent-handling preacher in a state that has outlawed the taking up of serpents during church services or in worship. However the laws of man hold no weight with us since this one law goes against the covenant of God. And the Bible teaches “better to obey God than to obey man.”

The miracle of child birth is often sullied by the slight possibility that the child in question, may be in fact, a gay homosexual. Whereas concerned parents used to have to wait until the teen years to discover whether or not their own flesh and blood was a giant, sinful disappointment, new developments in technology have made it possible to identify and combat this disgusting practice before it blooms into a lifetime of tragedy.

Every child should be able to enjoy a pizza party with his or her peers without having manual sex performed on them underneath a table. But the gay homosexual influence has poisoned the Christian ranks of this country, and now children as young as FIVE have admitted to being gay homosexuals.

  It was a cold and rainy day in Portland, Oregon.  I was waiting at the bus stop to perform my weekly bus mission, and then Hell on Earth happened.  As I stood there, minding my own business, waiting for the bus to pick me up so I could save [...]

Back when I was a young boy, my father would reminisce to me about the 50’s. One quote in particular stuck out in my mind from that time on. “I remember when men were men, women were housewives and gays didn’t exist.” This mentality has been a guiding light in [...]

One of the biggest threats from emosexuals has been their blurring of the sexes. Men dress like women and the women dress either like men or like slutty whorelots. But now the emosexual males have decided to join with homosexuals to create a new breed of pervert known as the Emosodomite.
This is the great sin that God warned us of in the bible. Sodomy is a sin and and an abomination unto God. But thes godless emosexuals embrace this sin just as they do other males. As I understand this is spreading to all young emosexual males. If your son is an emosexual please talk to him and tell him sodomy is wrong and a one way ticket to eternal damnation.

A new audience for animation has arisen. As we can see in cases like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Phineas and Ferb, Japanese anime and mangay, South Park and Family Guy, children’s shows are being viewed primarily by a frightening new audience. Typically, lazy oafs in their twenties make [...]