Christopher Hitchens is Dead. Praise The Lord!!!

December 16, 2011 12:02 pm20 comments
Christopher Hitchens is Dead.  Praise The Lord!!!

As a Christian, I hate finding out that somebody has passed away, especially somebody unsaved. There is only one exception to this rule. If a participant in a War against me dies, I do not feel sorry for them. This victorious feeling of not feeling sad for a combatant in [...]

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Atheists are spiritual zombies

December 12, 2011 10:14 pm20 comments
Atheists are spiritual zombies

First of all, what is religion? In every society religion has been the belief in an immaterial world, it interests itself with questions of life after death. In every religion we have basic forms of animism. Religion answers a need of purpose in our existences, Its beliefs are put into [...]

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How To Ensure Your Daughter Is Not Dressed As A Whorelot: The Christian Man’s Pictorial Guide To Dressing Your Teenage Child

December 11, 2011 4:19 am127 comments
How To Ensure Your Daughter Is Not Dressed As A Whorelot: The Christian Man’s Pictorial Guide To Dressing Your Teenage Child

The other day at Church, my Beloved Comrade In Christ, Paul, approached me with a vile dilemma that was plaguing his life, and he asked me for advice. He said, “My Dear Partner, Christopher, whom I hold so close to my Heart, there is a terrible sinister presence of satan [...]

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Why do Young Boys Choose To Be homosexuals If They Know That We Christians Know The Truth?

December 7, 2011 11:33 pm57 comments
Why do Young Boys Choose To Be homosexuals If They Know That We Christians Know The Truth?

In the past year or so, homosexual Boys have started killing themselves. They clearly can not handle the Rightness and Morality of the Christians. But this brings up a question. Why, do these children choose this lifestyle if We, the Morality of This American Nation, will teach them the consequences? [...]

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Black Veil Brides: The Real Deal

3:02 am35 comments

I am writing this article because people need to understand that Black Veil Brides send out a positive message, not a negative one. Let’s look at the song “Knives and Pens” first. This song tells the story of Andy Biersack’s (Not Beersack’s)childhood. Andy Biersack was bullied throughout his school years, [...]

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Religion&Homosexuality

December 6, 2011 6:14 pm142 comments
Religion&Homosexuality

This is an article that I’ve been thinking about writing for a long time. I realize now that I need to write this. I recently talked to my friend that is homosexual, and he told me to go for it. First of all, I am Bisexual. That means I am [...]

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Ask Sister Susan: God,Gays and How To Fix Them

December 5, 2011 6:48 pm29 comments
Ask Sister Susan: God,Gays and How To Fix Them

For some time now friends on facebook have been asking me to start an advice column. After asking advice from friends, family, and the fellowship I have decided to do it. But I needed the perfect topic. Finally one was submitted to me. “I have an ex-friend who confessed that [...]

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Are atheists Actually satanic Androids, and Thus Is There A Need To Destroy Them?

December 4, 2011 12:00 am15 comments
Are atheists Actually satanic Androids, and Thus Is There A Need To Destroy Them?

This is the famous atheist physician, Richard Fineman. Look at him. Look at his doughy skin, his beady eyes and his blank face. Look at his finely coiffed hair. Something isn’t right with this image. Mr. Fineman, best known for doing science that involves incredibly complicated math, doesn’t seem fully [...]

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5 Reasons women Must Cover Their Legs with Ankle Length Skirts: A Manifesto Against Dandy Dukes

November 28, 2011 10:02 pm25 comments
5 Reasons women Must Cover Their Legs with Ankle Length Skirts: A Manifesto Against Dandy Dukes

Warning! The following article possesses graphic depictions of the female body. I advise you to pray before reading and send all women and children out of the room. If this article provokes seizures or fainting from the horrors of the images you are about to see I will not pay [...]

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THE CHRISTIAN GUIDE TO NOT BEING MISTAKEN FOR A HOMOSEXUAL, PT. 2

November 14, 2011 7:26 pm22 comments
THE CHRISTIAN GUIDE TO NOT BEING MISTAKEN FOR A HOMOSEXUAL, PT. 2

It seems that even though I explained very explicitly and blatantly that I AM A CHRISTIAN HETEROSEXUAL AND ALWAYS HAVE AND WILL BE, some still have a hard time believing so because I still seem too effeminate to not be. I can assure you all that, indeed, there is no [...]

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THE CHRISTIAN GUIDE TO NOT BEING MISTAKEN FOR A HOMOSEXUAL, PT. 1

November 12, 2011 8:39 pm56 comments
THE CHRISTIAN GUIDE TO NOT BEING MISTAKEN FOR A HOMOSEXUAL, PT. 1

It seems that some people think I have repressed homosexual tendencies. This is not true. I am attracted to Jesus and to Christianity and to Morality and nothing else. I suspect it is because I am slender, young and attractive, and that is a favored type of the obsessive compulsive [...]

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7 Things Barack Obama And Hitler Have In Common

September 3, 2011 9:30 pm122 comments
7 Things Barack Obama And Hitler Have In Common

  Both are/were angry speakers Hitler was angry at the Jews, Mr. Obama, however, is angry at the Anglo-Christian Republican Right in this country. He got Glenn Beck fired simply because he was a white guy. I’ll bet that when Hitler started he got some guy fired for being a [...]

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How to be Gay and Christian

August 17, 2011 12:54 pm97 comments
How to be Gay and Christian

GAY CHRISTIAN PRIDE That doesn’t sound doable right? Well, let me be the friend of Dorthy to tell you that it is possible. Don’t let close minded, closeted pastors tell you anything different. This little honey bee has been a practicing Christian since he was playing with Ken and Ken [...]

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God Hates Kittens. So Should You.

August 11, 2011 11:39 pm317 comments
God Hates Kittens.  So Should You.

To gaze into the eyes of a Devil Kitten, is to sacrifice your soul to Lucifer. Kittens are the creation of Satan designed to embody his cunning spirit of disguise. Does a kitten seem playful to you? Is that furry little devil spawn cute and cuddly with a splash of [...]

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Hello? How to tell when God is speaking to you, and interpret his message.

August 10, 2011 12:07 pm53 comments
Hello? How to tell when God is speaking to you, and interpret his message.

The Lord works in mysterious ways. Sometimes his ways can baffle even the most God fearing children of his flock. The list below will help you identify when Jesus is speaking to you. 1. Does it hurt when you poop? This is Jesus telling a man (or woman) that his [...]

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