New York’s Health Department today announced that if you engage in homosexualist backside dallying, you need to be vaccinated for meningitis. This adds to the already long list of Gay Bowel Diseases caused by the sinful act of poo-pushing. For years, we at Christwire have warned of the consequences of [...]
Investigative
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U.S Marine Abuses Children After Warm Homecoming. Video Evidence
Comrades, It is time to reveal how messed up Obama is making our military branches. This is something not to be wreckoned...
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Proof That Beyonce and Sasha Fierce Are Satan’s Illuminati Hand Maidens
After we watched the Super Bowl halftime show, we all could only come to one conclusion. Beyonce is a hand-maiden...
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Anonymous “Haxxor” Group Knocks Out Power At Super Bowl, Demands Free Wi-Fi For All Americans
The American psyche is the latest victim of the amorphous super collective known only as “Anonymous.” In...
Women and Weed: Ladies Meet Thine Evil Enemy!
Women of America, brace yourselves for epic disappointment. There’s a new scourge upon the land and it’s going to leave you high and dry , or maybe hot and bothered beyond belief. Sexual frustration has a new name and it has arrived on the scene as “Legalized Marijuana”. Ladies, start [...]
Read more ›LA Police Find A Body Encased In Concrete
My friends, This is a sad day for this poor man’s body found encased in concrete. What a horrible death. I persoanlly send my condolences to the victim’s family and friends. This is truly a horrible crime to do. Who in their right mind buries someone in concrete? Here’s more [...]
Read more ›Fat Kids are Inactive
( Berlin, NH) A controversial report from the Institute of Moral Consumerism has brazenly stated that obese children living in the industrialized world are in fact lazy, inactive and unmotivated. Furthermore, the obese in general are self actualizing their own morbidity by opting for bacon cheeseburgers and fries instead of [...]
Read more ›Top Ten Worst Christmas Toys : Let Christ be your Shopping Assistant!
Here at The Institute for Moral Consumerism, we’ve spent countless hours researching the latest hot toys to hit the market, just in time for the holidays. The ladies at church ask, ” Eunice, why would you spend eight weeks locked in a cellar with 3,000 inappropriate toys?” Why, you [...]
Read more ›Is My Husband Using Craigslist To Have Gay Sex?
By Mark E. Figs God has driven a holy spike into the heart of the gay homosexuality community. Known for being a depraved group of sex addicts, they were struck with the news that the “Hostess” who enable them to hook up with “Ho-Hos” and “Twinkies” was being shut down! Next on [...]
Read more ›Irrefutable Fact Obama Is A Bronie
Only a day before the 2012 elections, our crack investigative team at Christwire has come upon the most devastating fact against Obama. The onus of responsibility is great here, because the nation needs to know that Obama is supporting a group of men who call themselves the bronysexuals, a group [...]
Read more ›Why Must Women Dress Like Sluts for Halloween?
With another Halloween nearly behind us, sensible men of the world once again sit at home, in bars, at work or in their cars, bewildered and shocked, trying to figure out what happened today. All year, women spend their time acting dignified, acting like it is men to blame for [...]
Read more ›Hurricane Sandy Cause By Legend of Zelda Occult Playing the ‘Song of Storms’
Possessed tongues unified in releasing the Satanic chants of Satan, Legend of Zelda occult members hold a summoning where the Prince of Darkness appears in a double triforce of fire and helps them bring destruction and chaos upon the world. With but a chant and the play of a new Satanic instrument [...]
Read more ›ChrisTwire’s Christian Review of Minecraft… “Its Daunte’s Ninth Circle of Hell!”
WARNING! EXPLICIT UNCENSORED XXX PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE! “If your son or daughter knows how to successfully hack into Minecraft’s explicit pornographic content, then they’ve already descended down the evil path into Daunte’s Ninth Circle of Hell.” By Rev. Billy Ray Sunday <chrisTwire> ChrisTwire received an email from Jennifer in Flagstaff, AZ, [...]
Read more ›Cookie Monster Crater Mocks Mitt Romney’s Decision To Cancel PBS Sesame Street Channel
My most loyal friends, I bring you some shocking news from the world around us and even the moon. Recently NASA Scientists have found, using their Hubble Telescope, a particularly interesting crater. The crater is described as the ‘Cookie Monster Crater’. This is rightfully so. The image is uncanny to [...]
Read more ›Islamophobia in America, or “Islamo-paranoia” of Americans?
By Rev. Billy Ray Sunday <chrisTwire> Muslim-Americans in Michigan have called for “deterrent legal measures” to fight what they call “Islamophobia” in the wake of the video “Innocence of Muslims” that exploded into Muslim Rage in the savage Middle East recently. “There is a need for deterrent legal measures against [...]
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