God is great. His reasoning is beyond that of yours or mine, and all of His creation is without flaw. Everything He makes, He makes for a reason, and nothing He makes is lacking in order or clarity. But we are living in dark days. Heathen scientists have invented their [...]

After passage of marriage equality, many celebrants in New York, New York – the city whose name salutes homosexuality and same sex marriage through repetition – are lining up outside of Kleinfield’s. The store is a bridal Mecca for those that use casual Muslim references and demand high quality fabrics, [...]

The President who is Not President Bush is picking up wandering white children and having them make prank phone calls from his super mobile. After the children are thoroughly strip searched for weapons and given chocolates, they are given one phone call to make. This is enough to make Gran’ma [...]

In the lush hills of Appalachia, small community churches beckon visitors to come worship. The weathered signs near the entrance show no indication of the slithery liturgy. Few signs will welcome all to “Come worship with us!” From Pennsylvania to Georgia, in the Southeastern Appalachian Mountains, serpent handling remains a [...]

Larry Flynt is an outspoken forefather and founder of the internet’s ‘Rule 34’ long before the internet was even conceived by Tennessee’s Al Gore. As an evangelical born again Christian and half click away from white trash nobility, Mr. Flynt has focused an unflinching, unerring eye to satirically expose the [...]

WARNING: THIS IS A HORRIBLE ARTICLE WRITTEN BY SOMEONE THAT IS NOT AN ACTUAL MEMBER OF CHRISTWIRE, AND SLANDERS A DEAR MEMBER OF OUR CHURCH AND COMMUNITY. WE PUBLISH IT ONLY IN THE INTEREST OF TRANSPARENCY. WE REPEAT NO ONE SHOULD READ THIS ARTICLE OR BELIEVE ANYTHING CONTAINED THEIR IN. Xenu: [...]

If you smell a foul fart in church, chances are it came from a homosexual or an Atheist, because true born again Christian flatulence is undetectable or smells of jasmine, cut grass, or freshly baked bread from God’s bakery. Hershey highway gaysters, bung hole buglers and faith challenged Darwin junkies [...]

You may be wondering if a zombie attack is a Christian ideal. Of course it isn’t. Such a thing could only be caused by homogay scientists and their crazy witchcraft. In the case of such a blasphemy, staunch conservatives must remember that most, if not all, of the infected will [...]

Atheists are always trying to find new ways to make your good, God-fearing Christian children become godless homos. If they had their way, atheists would teleport rapist fecal bandits into your living room, sexually molest your sons and daughters, and forcefully indoctrinate them into their lifestyle. That technology does not [...]

San Diego is a city of roughians in and upon itself. It’s location in the north of Mexico lends many criminals to use it as a hub for their less than legal activities. The geek culture is no different, as in a few short weeks they will be showing their [...]

Breaching the controversial subject of enemas in the hot summer months can be daunting for parents of teens. Controversy and concerns aside, the discussion is one that is necessary. Before your teen or tween heads off to summer camp, an outdoor concert event or summer mission this year, take time [...]

Three dimensional printing has become quite the rage amongst young techenstein hopefuls. The man centered technology entered the scene in 2003 and through diabolical open source initiatives has replicated its own supply base to lower costs for everyday office use. Known as ‘additive’ manufacturing, the process adds layers to each [...]

WARNING: This article is intended for mature audiences and those anointed with the spiritual groundwork necessary for a frank discussion of sexuality in preparation for Christian marriage. Girls spend their whole lives looking forward to the day when preparations for that walk down the aisle to marry a beloved in [...]

What’s that smell? Well, it’s June so gay is in the air, my friends. Are you ready? This is the month used by many sick, unrepentant homosexuals to flounce and stomp about our God-fearing heterosexual streets in the name of celebrating LGBTQ Pride. While many God-loving countries such as Iran [...]

Ever since they took their equal rights from us, minorities have been on a crusade to get themselves more rights and preferences than whites. Thankfully, after many years of this going on under the table, recent studies are now showing that whites are aware of the ever-increasing amount of discrimination [...]