It is being reported that in Rubiato Town, Brazil a 16 year old boy has died of the vile act of self fornication. The boy died after a furious bout of self fornication after touching himself inappropriately 42 times in a row! “Stop touching yourself kid!” The mother of the [...]

Whilst exalting in the aftershocks of the earthquake, an angelic messenger of God came to me and bestowed upon me the following prophetic vision: Hurricane Irene will rain devastation on America’s sinful, blasphemous coastal dwellers while the pious Midwestern folk will continue to bask in the glory of the Almighty. [...]

In a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court confirmed what Christians have long known; women are better suited to home and hearth and do not have the capacity or skills to take jobs from men. The U.S. Supreme Court in Wal-Mart v. Dukes decided the largest workplace discrimination case in history. [...]

Due to a lack in Christianity in the Republican field of presidential hopefuls, I have been forced into making an announcement. Last week myself and the award winning staff here at Christwire formed an exploratory committee delving into the possibility that I, Alex K Keating, will seek the Republican nomination [...]

Albany NY, Liberal New York state bureaucrats have identified and banned a new deadly hazard to today’s children: – Kickball. The Health Department created a list of supposedly risky and therefore banned recreational activities to cooperate with a law passed in 2009 protecting children. The liberal list of activities that [...]

In a surprise move the very liberal National Organization for Women (NOW) has endorsed Sarah Palins bid to be the 45th president. Assuming woman’s suffrage will successfully be eliminated by the election cycle the militant group NOW’s only hope is to back Sarah Palin. Recently the liberal and unfunny opposite [...]

Last Sunday three Orthodox Jewish travelers sparked fears on a flight from Mexico City to Los Angeles. The men were questioned, their bags searched, and it was determined they were not a threat according to the FBI. “Alaska Airlines embraces the cultural and religious diversity of our passengers and employees. [...]

Is every person on Earth truly born equal? This question has long been answered by the people, which shows that God has love for all people whether they be black, Asian, Mexican toned or normal. All are precious before the Lord, so it is hurtful to see all the racist [...]

A few weeks ago chrisTwire sources were the first to reveal Asia’s plot to destroy our Caucasian Sun. Yesterday Chinese TV revealed the Asian sun to the masses for the first time According to Jim Kaler, the University of Illinois astronomer: “The case of a second sun 3 degrees and [...]

Brandon Davies was dismissed from BYU’s basketball team after he admitted to having consentual sexual relations with his girlfriend, the Salt Lake Tribune reported. BYU’s honor code forbids students from having premarital sex and instructs them to “live a chaste and virtuous life.” The newspaper reported that Davies met with [...]

Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker, innocently accepted a call from whom he thought was a conservative supporter, but in fact was a poe-holer. Because conservatives and fundamentalist have a built in immunity to poe-holing, much has been written and reported regarding the 20 minute conversation between the Wisconsin governor and Ian [...]