IT MIGHT be the funniest and most charming thing to come out of Russia since that compilation of wacky dashboard-cam videos, but this innocent-looking cat might send impressionable Christian minds wandering down some dusky paths. In this viral video, a young blonde Russian cat can clearly be seen licking at [...]
Science
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Baby Puppy Recovering After Attack By Pack of Wild Kittens
Mr. Lick ‘ems SALINA, KANSAS – It has been a long, tough road for Mr. Lick ‘ems, but he is finally...
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Marijuana Fungus in Capri Sun Respawns Man’s Lungs?
The next dangerous evolution of marijuana is upon us.  Kush doctors, also referred to as ‘ents’ (ear,...
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God Strikes Midwest With May Snow, Gays To Blame
God distributes the weather patterns so as to make a rainbow color appear on meteorologists reports on the 4:00 pm...
HIV Cure ‘Within Months’, What Does This Mean for Christians?
HIV To Be Cured Within Months As seen with former NBA superstar Magic Johnson, HIV can be controlled with strong cocktails of expensive pharmaceuticals. But even if Magic Johnston stopped his medicinal regimen, the reservoir of virii in his blood stream would explode and exponentially increase in viral load, eventually [...]
Read more ›Earth Permanently Deformed, Chilean Earthquakes To Blame
Calama, Chile (Christwire) – Abe Goodman reporting Earthquakes are amongst nature’s most destructive forces. By the shifting of Earth’s tectonic plates so carefully placed 6,000 years ago, we see the earthquake force can move buildings, cause sinkholes and even change the face of continents. To put the power of a [...]
Read more ›Newest Gay Bowel Disease Confirmed: Meningitis
New York’s Health Department today announced that if you engage in homosexualist backside dallying, you need to be vaccinated for meningitis. This adds to the already long list of Gay Bowel Diseases caused by the sinful act of poo-pushing. For years, we at Christwire have warned of the consequences of [...]
Read more ›Pokemon has a bird-flu cock snot problem
IT’S no secret that Pokemon is the most vile, sadistic and insidious animal-fighting game ever inflicted on an entire generation of impressionable children. Even now, it could be breeding a whole new legion of Michael Vickses who think that it’s perfectly fine to force dogs to fight to the death [...]
Read more ›Should Cats Be Arrested/Jailed For Huffing Catnip?
As any cat owner can tell you, felines have an almost human quality and understanding of life.  It is not uncommon to find cats opening a cabinet to obtain their food, or after observing a human using the ‘potty’ for enough days, to take the task on for themselves. Cats [...]
Read more ›World Shocked By Ugly 2014 Jeep, Reddit CSS HTML Coders To Blame
From the people who brought you the Pontiac Aztec and the most liberal site on the internet, a new design for the Jeep The html designers behind the socialist website Reddit.com somehow won a bid to design the new 2014 Jeep. Consumer response to the 2014 Jeep has been nothing [...]
Read more ›Proof That Cats Were Not Created by God
Unlike all other animals on Earth, cats are unholy and born with natural sin. From the time it comes clawing from its mother’s womb, a cat is a reprehensible beast who represents the worst qualities that humanity can imagine: social welfare mooching, clingy, remarkably germy, defiant, ungrateful and unChristian. With [...]
Read more ›The End has Begun – Start Drinking Now!
Have you noticed it’s a little darker than usual outside? It’s no coincidence that the Winter Solstice is on a crash course collision with The End  Days as predicted by Mayan Time keepers. That marks today’s sunrise on  12-21-2012 as the official Dawn of Destruction, it is upon us [...]
Read more ›Golden Eagle Tries To Snatch Baby, Drops Goats Off Cliff Instead
Golden eagles may be the most rotted, dicked animal on Earth. Cats are bad, but golden eagles are worse. At this point, I usually use words to bring detail into my thesis, but today we only need to turn to youtube to see how evil this animals truly can be. [...]
Read more ›Drugged Driving Causes 50% Increase in Traffic Accidents, Colorado Stoners and /r/trees to Blame
Denver, Colorado – Only weeks after the powerful Reddit /r/trees political lobby flexed its muscle and forced Democrat lawmakers to push for marijuana legalization in ‘at least two “green” states’, the number of traffic accidents and fatalities in Washington State and Colorado have sharply increased. New studies released by the Family [...]
Read more ›Catfish Walks on Land to Eat Pigeons
The beaching catfish is the latest threat to Creationist teaching, as we can clearly see in this video. The fish has somehow learned how to beach itself in shallow water, nearly ‘walking’ on land so that it can eat birds. Atheists are naturally hailing this as proof of evolution, citing [...]
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