New York’s Health Department today announced that if you engage in homosexualist backside dallying, you need to be vaccinated for meningitis. This adds to the already long list of Gay Bowel Diseases caused by the sinful act of poo-pushing. For years, we at Christwire have warned of the consequences of [...]
Health
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Vomiting Virus Outbreak Strikes Germany, Michelle Obama Schoolunches to Blame!
A vomiting virus outbreak is taking place in Germany, where 96% of all school children have been rushed to the home...
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SCIENCE: Smoking Pot Causes Testicular Cancer
Two of the Beastie Boys pose outside a hedge shop in Venice Beach, where it’s well known everyone tooks a hook...
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Cats… The Latest Public Health Threat & What You Need to Know
By Billy Ray Sunday <chris†wire> Cats have always fascinated man. Throughout history cats have been...
Man Gets Bubonic DEATH Plague from Stray Cat Bite
For years I have given you sound medical advice and warnings about the danger of cats. Despite the words and actions of some people who love to claim cats are not dangerous, today I will bring you the ultimate proof that cats are not only dangerous, but can destroy humanity. [...]
Read more ›Tages-Anzeiger Reports Swiss Woman Tries to Live on Sunlight, Dies
A Swiss newspaper named Tages-Anzeiger reports that a woman actually tried to live off sunlight. Her goal of attaining a sunlight diet was part of a spiritual quest that required the woman to give up eating or drinking, instead just soaking up the Sun and its magnificent rays. Unfortunately, she [...]
Read more ›Is My Daughter a Prostitute? 15 Early Warning Signs
Dear Stephenson, My daughter has been very secretive lately. She moved to New York City to become an actress 3 years ago and now has all this money for designer clothes. Problem is she’s not telling me anything about her life! She’s says she’s working as a “intern” whatever that means and I just find it hard to believe. She’s pretty and sharp minded but she’s just not the sort of girl that can be one of those high power woman types. Frankly I have no idea what she’s really up to. Can you help?
Read more ›Is My Teen Weird? 20 Terrifying New Youth Trends
Does your child spend too much time alone in the bedroom? Has he or she begun experimenting with unusual fashions, loud music and adult language? Have you noticed intense emotional demands for privacy and advances on allowance money? Do you worry about new friends who might be too mature or using drugs? Has your teen “paired off” with someone in a way that makes you suspect abnormal sexual activity?
Read more ›Pink Slime Bankruptcy Hinders US Cattle Beef Processor AFA Foods Industry, Are Media Washed Housewives to Blame Again?
American housewives are reaping what they have sown but do not want to atone for their transgressions. Pink slime bankruptcy is the talk of the day that every American concerned about the economy must know about. Several months ago, we helped expose that lazy housewives were forcing the cattle industry [...]
Read more ›Should Cats Become The New Mouse?
Cats are oft times called good pets, when the fact of the matter is quite the opposite. In the image above, look at the proud, smug look on the face of the cat. It thinks it has done the owner a favor by making heart-shaped waste in its litter. Just [...]
Read more ›Is Sugar Toxic? 60 Minutes Asks the Tough Question
We already know that the l-sugar Aspartame ((N-(L-α-Aspartyl)-L-phenylalanine, 1-methyl ester)) is the Halliburton of the food industry. The same cronies that sneaked Halliburton into Iraq are the same right-wing money-mongers who sold out America’s health to fatten the products of Donald Rumsfeld and his pet aspartame patent sugar industry. But [...]
Read more ›New Breast Cancer Drug May Slow Lung Cancer Progress
The breast cancer drug tamoxifen can stall the progression of non-small cell lung cancer, according to new reports. Tamoxifen has had an up and down history in research assays, but is largely regarded as one of the oldest known medications that can block the functionality of estrogen in the body. [...]
Read more ›Should Christians Join the National Blowjob Boycott?
There is good news today for advocates of abstinence and moral decency. In a report issued by Esquire Magazine this month, it was revealed that female to male oral intercourse is falling out of fashion among America’s youths. Instead, many are opting to protect their purity and their health by [...]
Read more ›Real Women Don’t Masturbate
Feminine self-gratification is a subject that is so objectionable and disingenuous that it remains taboo for spiritual discussion. Yet by any measurable standard, it is a crisis of vast proportions in our culture. It affects a girl’s ability to mature beyond the egocentric teenage stage, it recklessly familiarizes her with rampant promiscuity and it can ultimately undermine her willingness to find stability in a procreative, loving marriage.
Read more ›Vegetarianism, Atheism and Masturbation: The New “Threesome” Youth Trend Threatening American Morality
The popularity of the internet and reality television has given young people access to many controversial ideologies. Some, like atheism, can be traced back to Soviet communism which ultimately saw Christian spirituality as a roadblock to a dictatorship of the state where families and love had no place. Other trends like vegetarianism were made popular by the most heinous figures in world history, such as Adolph Hitler who was himself a vocal adherent of the unsound diet.
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