Fundamentalist Atheist Neil deGrasse Tyson Claims Newt Gingrich Moon Base Is Impossible

January 29, 2012 4:39 am90 comments

Some loudmouthed atheist named Neil deGrasse Tyson is spouting off and trying to claim that America cannot land on the moon. There are some crazy liberals out there but the most left-wing of them all are these uneducated nuts who think NASA never put a man on the moon. As [...]

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Gay Marriage Mystery Illness Leaves Upstate N.Y. Teens With Twitches, Spasms And No Answers

January 28, 2012 11:25 am64 comments

LE ROY, NY (CWGLOBAL) For It Is Written! Psalms 106:29 Thus they provoked him to anger with their inventions: and the plague brake in upon them.   Oh fecal friendly nation of America, you have provoked your God to anger!  Did you not think that you could allow two men [...]

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Christian Conservatives Aren’t Stupid, Those Saul Alinsky Liberals Are

1:08 am24 comments
Christian Conservatives Aren’t Stupid, Those Saul Alinsky Liberals Are

Well, another self-aggrandizing report from the Saul Alinsky liberal educated elite is claiming that conservatives are less intelligent than their liberal counterparts. Will someone help these people get over their second class status, get back to work as janitors and off the government teat? “Power is not only what you [...]

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Killer Sharks versus Orca Battle it Out in New Zealand

January 27, 2012 8:29 am4 comments

The Australian country of New Zealand shows a new savage ocean sport. The people in these lands have taken a majestic orca and thrown it into an ocean ‘cock fighting ring’, where they are forcing it to battle with several hungry, meanly trained and ornery great white sharks! I know [...]

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Liberal Hypocrisies Within Science, Big Bang Theory Disproves Global Warming

January 26, 2012 5:51 pm28 comments
Liberal Hypocrisies Within Science, Big Bang Theory Disproves Global Warming

Any Good Christian knows that God created the world. God created the world perfectly, with Moral Americans giving him emotional support; with Canadians, Europeans, Australians, Asians and Blacks to laugh at; with hipstersexuals and emosexuals to present him with a fun challenge, basically they’re the villains in his video game; and a labyrinth known as the countries and continents completing it for his own personal enjoyment. However, the incessant liberals dispute this, arguing that we can’t prove the existence of God and that it simply happened as a result of the Big Bang. Ignoring the fact that the theory is a double entendre that seems to want us to believe that a bunch of particles are engaging in an orgy, that’s illogical, to steal a quote from my fictional nemesis Spock. Something cannot come from nothing.

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Hipstersexuals: The Obnoxious Ninjas of Terrorism

January 25, 2012 6:00 pm13 comments
Hipstersexuals: The Obnoxious Ninjas of Terrorism

When you picture terrorists, you picture islamists with stolen uzis and hand grenades running into a government building of this Christian Nation. But there’s a more subtle type of terrorism going on in America. Yes, terrorism of the mind. That, we can mainly credit to the hipstersexual movement and traitors like Obamney who tolerate or motivate them.

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Zebra Bites Flesh Temptress on the Shoulder

January 20, 2012 1:53 am19 comments

YouTube Video of a Zebra biting a woman on the shoulder.

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NASA Discovers God: Declares Atheists Idiots

January 19, 2012 3:44 pm209 comments
NASA Discovers God: Declares Atheists Idiots

(chrisTwire)— NASA has discovered something at the edge of space. So far away that it took nearly 6000 years for its image to reach the earth. Something that predates our universe. The eye of GOD. The image comes from the VISTA telescope, the world’s largest survey telescope, at the Paranal [...]

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How To Bathe A Cat

January 16, 2012 7:21 pm356 comments
How To Bathe A Cat

Stray cats are a major problem for the United States.  According to the ASPCA, there may be nearly 95 million stray cats in America and of all these cats, over 75% are feral, can carry rabies and are responsible for preying upon natural animals in our ecosystem.  Each year, stray cats [...]

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Demonic Cat Gets Caught Barking Like Dog, Then Resume Meowing

January 15, 2012 2:20 am57 comments

Every time I see an ASPCA commercial with cats trying to act innocent and abused, I get sick to my stomach.  What is with all the dramatic music and trying to make us feel sorry for cats, when they are DEMONIC CRATURES and we have poor children starving in Africa?  [...]

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@KarlRove You Better Watch Your Back… I’m on Twitter Now!

January 14, 2012 8:44 pm20 comments
@KarlRove You Better Watch Your Back… I’m on Twitter Now!

I know exactly who you are Karl Rove and this is no idle threat. As the chief architect of George Bush’s dramatic rise to power, you had an incredible role in shaping the direction of this nation over the last decade. You brought Conservative Evangelicals to the forefront and gave [...]

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Woman with Deviated Seperator Has Two Baby Makers

January 12, 2012 6:19 pm57 comments
Woman with Deviated Seperator Has Two Baby Makers

Hazel Jones is a beautiful young woman from the United Kingdom, enjoying life just like many around her.  But unlike others, she has a rare condition that she is not afraid to talk about:  a deviated seperator flap. As many savvy with genetics understand, a woman has a seperator flap [...]

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CES: Convention of Evil and Satanism

11:10 am72 comments
CES: Convention of Evil and Satanism

The time has come again for the CES, the Consumer Electronics Show or the Convention of Evil and Satanism expo as we know it here in the Lord’s presents. Thousands of atheist nerds descend upon hell on earth or Las Vegas if you will, to take part in the worship [...]

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5 Subtle Signs That Someone Has Un-Christian Tendencies

January 11, 2012 5:33 pm109 comments
5 Subtle Signs That Someone Has Un-Christian Tendencies

It can be hard to determine whether somebody is trustworthy upon first meeting them. It can be especially hard if the person seems decidedly un-Christian. I, for one, have been deceased many times by heathens in disguise. But fortunately for us, there are five subtle signs that somebody is not [...]

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Halo, the Videogame That Trains Your Teens to Fight for the Nietzschean New World Order

January 8, 2012 7:48 pm85 comments
Halo, the Videogame That Trains Your Teens to Fight for the Nietzschean New World Order

We will not be discussing the criminal levels of violence so common in computer games today. We will not be discussing how the creators of Halo have taken this to a new level, preying on children’s insecurities to offer than an outlet through the scope of a futuristic rifle. We [...]

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