If it were not bad enough Emma Watson was caught kissing groupie ‘bros’ at Coachella 2012, as I reported two days ago she has a live action Tramp Stamp.  Emma Watson tramp stamp. Lights. Camera. Devilwhore action! That symbol on her back is a drawing by the same demon who [...]

United Kingdom opens Pizza Hut franchises, immediately offer hot dog stuffed crust pizza with mustard drizzle. London, United Kingdom – The British continue to ruin every good thing about America.    Today the Redcoat misfits were allowed to open Pizza Hut in their tiny little country.  But, surprise, surprise, they have [...]

Atheist scientists release “Shaggy Tyranosaur” fabrication to steal attention from Christ on Easter 2012, lead children’s thought to absurd evolutionary theory. Around sixty years ago, a cabal of ‘scientists’ who were actually anti-Christian militants invented a “Big Bang” theory.  This theory is absurd in that it violates the 1st and [...]

The co-founder of Invisible Children — the video that recently surfaced on Facebook and made the world 30-minute activists — Jason Russell has been allegedly detained in San Diego.  The alleged crimed?  “Being drunk in public and masturbating, ” according to San Diego’s NBC. To figure out which man in [...]

Famed watermelon-smashing comedian Gallagher suffered a heart attack in Texas. Long known for tormenting our sin-skinned friends by wasting their favorite food as a joke, Gallagher has long been a favorite comedian of mine. Leo Gallagher was scheduled to perform one of his always classic shows in Texas. Reports detail [...]

A lot of young people will dismiss the right reverend Pat Robertson as a Granpa Biblebelt, but nothing could be further from the truth. When asked if the carnal slurping and lurping of congenitals between married couples is right or even appropriate, ol’ Pat gave a thrilling endorsement of March [...]

If you are on Facebook, by now some of your friends have posted the “Kony 2012″ viral video. The video depicts the notorious leader of the Lord’s Resistance Army, Joseph Kony. Among multiple crimes committed, Kony is best known for his arming of children and coercing them to join his [...]

With a successful book launch, a new television deal, and several sold out live events, the chrisTwire brand has never been more popular. To celebrate that fact we have launched a new line of chrisTwire toys and accessories. The first line of toys was inspired by our own long time [...]

As many of you know, America is the great melting pot. My Republican forefathers like Abraham Lincoln was among the first to recognize that blacks should get paid to help do their easy labor jobs. We happily invite Asians, Mexicans, Indians (the whoo-whoo feather type, not the curry scented nuke [...]

The Superbowl 2012 Kickoff time is 6:29 pm.  After all the festivities, it will probably be a good 30 minutes later.  Madonna, MIA and some other talentless singer are slated to do the Super Bowl halftime show.  Madonna is trying to claim she is not going to do anything shocking, [...]

WARNING:  Game of Thrones is an IMMORAL, LOW-BUDGET B MOVIE ROMPUS OF EXPOSED FLESH, CHEAP EXPLOSIONS AND WITCHCRAFT.  THE POINT OF THE SHOW IS TO GAIN VIEWERS USING THE SOUTH PARK METHOD:  TOILET HUMOR.  INSTEAD OF HUMOR, THE SHOW USES “TOILET FANTASY” AS ITS NEW COINED GENRE.  DEMAND ANY WOMEN/CHILDREN [...]

If a gay has sneezed on you, you probably have it. During the Dark Ages, homosexuality was rampant. With the church being weakened and the world far removed from the ability to read or practice Christianity, immoral lifestyles lead humans to fall prey to many different diseases. The most notable [...]

Terrified NASA scientists watch God brew up another storm to strike down Washington state if they pass gay marriage. Let’s see what’s going on in gay marriage is legal America today:  man adopts girlfriend as daughter. Now many of you good people are not surprised, because you know for every [...]

Women of today will cover their ears and deny the authority of their men. That is because men of today have no spine and are weak. Get your women in control men. And God said “Let there be light.” And it was so. And it should be the way every [...]

(chrisTwire) — It has just been reported that Taylor Swift has been offered the heavily coveted role of Eponine in the star-studded upcoming film adaptation of the musical “Les Miserables”. According to the Huffington Post; Swift’s casting represents not only a major step in her acting career but also a [...]