PBS, Your Tax Dollars, and the Satanic/Homosexual/Atheist Propaganda Machine

June 4, 2012 6:26 pm5 comments

There is a government-funded Satanic-Homosexual propaganda program aimed squarely at America’s impressionable toddlers and preschoolers! This program is Super Why!, and it is broadcast 5 days a week across the country. At first glance, it seems like an ordinary educational program. The premise is benign: four good friends solve problems while at the same time introducing children to reading. Almost from the opening scene, though, there are layers upon layers of Homosexual and Satanic propaganda.

Read more ›

Why Fan Fiction is Possibly The Most Lethal Threat To Your Heterosexuality

April 4, 2012 1:59 am115 comments
Why Fan Fiction is Possibly The Most Lethal Threat To Your Heterosexuality

While we moral Christians are off at Church, at work, at school or on Christwire, there is a dirty subculture lurking on the internet. We all know of the threats of Tumblr, Reddit, Facebook and Myspace on our youth, but there is something even more sinister than the threats of [...]

Read more ›

$5 Gas Prices, Gays Are To Blame

March 2, 2012 9:47 am155 comments
$5 Gas Prices, Gays Are To Blame

The scene above from the gay pride movie Zoolander depicts the gay act of gas guzzling, an action now being reproduced in mass and sending the nation’s gas prices skyrocketing.  $5 dollar gas in your city?  Gays are to blame. Gas guzzling.  It is the latest trend being popularized by [...]

Read more ›

Food: Pathway to the Soul?

February 27, 2012 3:06 pm35 comments
Food: Pathway to the Soul?

They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I myself have never been one to repeat such a statement as i know this phrase to be anotomically incorrect. The heart is in no way directly connected to the stomach. I felt it a useful starting point [...]

Read more ›

chrisTwire Asks: African Americans About Black History Month

February 23, 2012 12:33 am93 comments
chrisTwire Asks: African Americans About Black History Month

“chrisTwire asks” is a new regular feature where we ask underwhelming Americans questions about subjects that may interest or challenge them. Most of the topics and questions are user submitted. If you would like to suggest a topic or question, feel free to submit one via Facebook, email, or if [...]

Read more ›

Choosing Homosexuality: The Neo-Con Christian Fallacy

February 15, 2012 1:32 pm38 comments
Choosing Homosexuality: The Neo-Con Christian Fallacy

One of the most common justifications that Christians employ for the persecution of homosexuals is that homosexuality is a choice. “By actively choosing it,” they say, “they have condemned their souls to Hell.” Well, I’m a Christian, and who knows what happens to your soul if you’re gay? I sure [...]

Read more ›

Fifth Grade Students Caught Playing ‘Rape-Tag’ a Dangerous Trend Spreading throughout our Public School System

February 4, 2012 7:28 pm7 comments
Fifth Grade Students Caught Playing ‘Rape-Tag’ a Dangerous Trend Spreading throughout our Public School System

“Our hands are tied,” said principal Sprung adding “there’s very little we can do, notifying the parents is about it.”

Read more ›

NOAH’S ARC AND UNICORNS, KIDS UNEDUCATED ABOUT SCRIPTURE!

February 2, 2012 4:59 pm71 comments
NOAH’S ARC AND UNICORNS, KIDS UNEDUCATED ABOUT SCRIPTURE!

I was outraged to see this joke about unicorns and Noah’s ark. Noah took two of every animal created by god in the garden of eden 6,000 years ago. Unicorns are abominations and were never created by god, worse still in this they talk which is completely against the will of god, [...]

Read more ›

Liberal Hypocrisies Within Science, Big Bang Theory Disproves Global Warming

January 26, 2012 5:51 pm28 comments
Liberal Hypocrisies Within Science, Big Bang Theory Disproves Global Warming

Any Good Christian knows that God created the world. God created the world perfectly, with Moral Americans giving him emotional support; with Canadians, Europeans, Australians, Asians and Blacks to laugh at; with hipstersexuals and emosexuals to present him with a fun challenge, basically they’re the villains in his video game; and a labyrinth known as the countries and continents completing it for his own personal enjoyment. However, the incessant liberals dispute this, arguing that we can’t prove the existence of God and that it simply happened as a result of the Big Bang. Ignoring the fact that the theory is a double entendre that seems to want us to believe that a bunch of particles are engaging in an orgy, that’s illogical, to steal a quote from my fictional nemesis Spock. Something cannot come from nothing.

Read more ›

Emo Twittergate Controversy: Ronnie Radke of Falling In Reverse Tells fans “F**k You”

January 25, 2012 8:10 pm100 comments
Emo Twittergate Controversy: Ronnie Radke of Falling In Reverse Tells fans “F**k You”

That’s right emosexuals. I have been telling you that these emo band leaders are all evil people out for one thing. Your money. You all have told me “No, Susan you are wrong. Andy BVB and Wacky Radke love me for who I am, why can’t you”. Well here we [...]

Read more ›

Hipstersexuals: The Obnoxious Ninjas of Terrorism

6:00 pm13 comments
Hipstersexuals: The Obnoxious Ninjas of Terrorism

When you picture terrorists, you picture islamists with stolen uzis and hand grenades running into a government building of this Christian Nation. But there’s a more subtle type of terrorism going on in America. Yes, terrorism of the mind. That, we can mainly credit to the hipstersexual movement and traitors like Obamney who tolerate or motivate them.

Read more ›