Parents, Justin Bieber Will Boom Pow Your Daughter’s Innocence in Maui

June 1, 2011 9:23 am15 comments
Parents, Justin Bieber Will Boom Pow Your Daughter’s Innocence in Maui

For years I have warned every parent about the dangers of Justin Bieber.  He is a Canadian, first off.  Not much ever good comes from a Canadian with attention. Canada is a cold, desolate continent that annually celebrates the day they savagely attacked young America and burnt down our White [...]

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Is Your Child at Risk of Being Planked?

May 30, 2011 2:28 am167 comments
Is Your Child at Risk of Being Planked?

At church this morning I was speaking with another Christian father and he mentioned this new trend that is sweeping like hell-fire across the world called “planking.” He claimed that this is innocent fun and that he allows his children to take pictures of themselves being planked. I had never [...]

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Blake’s Plate Episode #5 – Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Parental Alert

May 26, 2011 7:22 pm8 comments
Blake’s Plate Episode #5 – Assassin’s Creed Revelations – Parental Alert

After Tyson Bowers III’s in-depth reporting on the dangers of Assassin’s Creed Revelations and how it is turning kids into anti-Americans. I decided to create a quick video explaining to parents once again how this game can turn their son into a future killer, gay sexual deviant or devil worshiper. Psst, follow me [...]

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17 Ways Liberal Single-Moms Are Destroying America

1:01 am131 comments
17 Ways Liberal Single-Moms Are Destroying America

Not beating their children Liberal laws in this country have forbidden us from doing our biblical duty, and that is to not spare the rod. This is because liberal mothers are scared their children will grow up to be good upstanding conservatives who know the holiness of a swift beating [...]

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Should I Hire a Hippie?

May 25, 2011 9:55 am184 comments
Should I Hire a Hippie?

Dear Stephenson, I own a small bakery in Georgia and last week a young man came in to apply for a job as an overnight baker. He was a bit strange looking to say the least!!! He dressed like a gypsy and had this long, nappy hair tied up in [...]

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Is Your Dad A Butt Pirating Homogay?

May 23, 2011 4:07 am33 comments
Is Your Dad A Butt Pirating Homogay?

Many of us think of our fathers with great respect, as well we should. He is the backbone of the good American Christian family. However, in recent years the liberals have been gaining ground in this country. Could this be due to men loving each other anally instead of spending [...]

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Steve-O Banned From Posting On Facebook For Being Homogay

May 22, 2011 9:04 pm25 comments
Steve-O Banned From Posting On Facebook For Being Homogay

In the last few hours, our research team has uncovered breaking news. It seems that MTV star and homogay actor Steve O was warned three times then banned from posting on his fan page because of homogay references. The heathen, better known for being gay on television and getting attention [...]

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Parent’s Guide to Common Teen Internet Sex Slang

May 21, 2011 10:06 pm99 comments
Parent’s Guide to Common Teen Internet Sex Slang

Here is a list of terms that young people regularly use on cellphones, Facebook and other chat groups. Please be warned, this dictionary contains graphic terminology. See Christwire’s article, “Is My Child Having Sex?” for a complete guide to this issue. %-} – Intoxicated :-)8 – Female offering oral sex [...]

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Super Hero Comics Cause College Girls to Take More Raunchy Facebook Pictures

May 20, 2011 12:43 pm96 comments
Super Hero Comics Cause College Girls to Take More Raunchy Facebook Pictures

Editor’s Note After publishing this piece yesterday, I have received hundreds of emails from comic book fans stating that all facts in this article are speculation and not true. There are many of you saying that comic books are not a problem in society, when even in the tender 1950s [...]

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How To Homogay-Proof Your Children

12:01 am164 comments
How To Homogay-Proof Your Children

Avoid cell phones Cell phones only attract Satan. Giving your child one to carry around, even if it’s just for emergency use, is too much temptation. A lot of cell phones these days come pre-programmed with homogay phone-sex line numbers in the speed dial. Carriers such as Verizon, which actually [...]

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Under Pressure From Civil Rights Activists, Amazon Discounts Caucasian “Little Mommy Play All Day” Dolls Over Black, Latino Ones

May 17, 2011 8:50 pm17 comments
Under Pressure From Civil Rights Activists, Amazon Discounts Caucasian “Little Mommy Play All Day” Dolls Over Black, Latino Ones

Amazon.com is raising eyebrows after discounting a white version of a popular children’s doll to a price far below that of its black and Latino counterparts. The move comes after a similar case last year drew outrage from civil rights activists. In that instance, Walmart was accused of racism for [...]

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Is Your Child Using Adderall “College Crack” To Get Through College Finals?

11:06 am16 comments
Is Your Child Using Adderall “College Crack” To Get Through College Finals?

Adderall is a new street drug that is being peddled on college campuses nationwide. Like most dirty things that endanger your child, this drug takes origin in Mexico. Last year there was a widespread crisis after a new strain of drug named “Magic Mint” made its way to the black [...]

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20 Ways To Tell If Your Teenage Daughter Is A Lesbian

May 8, 2011 8:34 am559 comments
20 Ways To Tell If Your Teenage Daughter Is A Lesbian

Does she have “Bieber Fever”? This is the first sign she is adopting an alternative lifestyle. Bieber was born female and is now a male impersonator, you can tell by the way his jawline isn’t quite masculine. Recently this heshe has been convincing young teenage girls to replace their pictues [...]

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Silly Bandz: The Secret Sexual Agenda

May 6, 2011 6:05 pm62 comments
Silly Bandz: The Secret Sexual Agenda

Millions of Americans are caught up in a new cult craze: Silly Bandz. What are Silly Bandz? Silly bands are colored Mexican rubber bands made by the Chinese in various shapes. They are then shipped to the states to be sold at extreme pricing to teens and celebrities to be [...]

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Whispering Eye and The Beaver, A Guacamole Recipe for Disaster

2:18 am2 comments
Whispering Eye and The Beaver, A Guacamole Recipe for Disaster

As time progresses, so does technology and its access to your precious child.  Does your teen son or daughter have a hip new Android or Apple iPhone?  Can you monitor their every move on these phones, to ensure they are not part of the new Batman sexting or vajazzling Facebook [...]

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