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    Michelle Obama’s Slutty Oscar Dress Force Iran to Hide Her Bared Shoulders

    by Abe - View all comments

    Michelle Obama continues to embarass America by not acting like a lady.  We all saw her sultry prom photo where she let Neil DeGrasse Tyson get himself a heavy eyescoop of her Nestle Milk Chocolates and probably let him have some YooHoo! time with her later if you get my drift. Then we saw her teaching her daughter to be hip floozies by playing Hula Hoops and then even saw her when she dared touch Queen Elizabeth with her bared […]

    Democrats Now Create Food Stamps For Pets SNAP Card

    by Mike Watson - View all comments

    The screenshot is included up above, because many of you radical democrats will try to deny what your socialist president has created.  There is now a Food Stamps for Pet program that allows irresponsible people to adopt pets, then force American taxpayers to pay for them. The number of people who are living large on Food Stamps in America remains at an all time high.  Have you even been at the check-out line, to only see Shanaynay or Standiki chomping […]

    Arrogant British Credit Downgraded

    by Tiernan Kincaid - View all comments

    The British are crying their tears today, as America was forced to downgrade their credit rankings.  For far too long the British have been living off our coattails, begging for alms ever since we saved them from being conquered during World War II.  For all of America’s sacrifice, the British have given us relatively nothing but grief and arrogance. Hopefully the British will learn their lesson and start being more respectful:  they need to recognize our economy as superior, stop […]

    World Shocked By Ugly 2014 Jeep, Reddit CSS HTML Coders To Blame

    by Adam Nelson - View all comments

    From the people who brought you the Pontiac Aztec and the most liberal site on the internet, a new design for the Jeep The html designers behind the socialist website Reddit.com somehow won a bid to design the new 2014 Jeep.  Consumer response to the 2014 Jeep has been nothing but turned-up nose disgust and confusion, with myself wondering why the Jeep looks like an angry Bruce Lee in mecha armor moreso than a luxury SUV with power. Perhaps it is […]

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    What Really Caused The Meteorite Crash In Russia?

    by Bruce Myron Danus - View all comments

    There are many different conspiracy theories about this recent meteor attack on Russia, but Christwire has discovered the truth. First, let me debunk all the “theories”, and then I will tell you what actually happened. Many of you are already thinking that I will say it had something to do with the gays or blacks, but you’re wrong already, and that makes you bigots. Let’s start with the theory from Vladimir Zhirinovsky, head of the nationalist Liberal Democrat Party. He […]

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    Atheism, Gays, Guns, God & The Oppressive Rule of the Obama Régime

    by Rev. Billy Ray - View all comments

    By Rev. Billy Ray Sunday Special to chrisTwire <chrisTwire> The founding of the United States of America was deeply rooted in scripture and Christian fundamentals. The basic principals taught by Christ became the foundation and structure for two of America’s most sacred transcripts, the US Constitution and the Bill of Rights. These two cherished documents guarantees all Americans basic human rights, equality, dignity, liberty, sovereignty and the right to defend ones self by arms; for these are the highest principals […]

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    New X and Y Pokemon Revealed for E3 2013

    by Sandra O'connor - View all comments

    My fellow comrades: I have come across some dazzling new information about the X and Y Pokemon games and what they contain. They contain vile homogay creatures that will teach our children and teens that homosexuality is OK! It is not OK with me and my church! These X and Y Pokemon are a danger to innocent children and teens! These new X and Y Pokemon games are dangerous to everyone. The Nintendo Studios and the website, www.hyrulecentral.net, are working […]

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    Beyonce Realizes That She Ruined The Super Bowl With Nude Stripper Dancing, Asks Internet To Remove Her Photos

    by Bruce Myron Danus - View all comments

    In an truly wonderful act of kindness, Beyonce Knowles has admitted to ruining the Super bowl halftime show, and her managers have requested the Internet to remove all images of her performance. I applauded the fact that they acknowledged her dreadful performance, and only wish that Madonna’s managers would have done the same thing. I hope that next year, we can finally have some true halftime entertainment, like Rush Limbaugh doing a live broadcast, or Kirk Cameron showing a 30 […]

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    Portland, OR Bakery Being Illegally Boycotted For Believing In The Bible, Homogay Agenda Involved

    by Bruce Myron Danus - View all comments

    A few weeks ago, a bakery in a suburb of Portland, Or called Gresham, garnered National News attention. It wasn’t due to the fact that they make cakes baked with the love of Jesus in every one of them, but because they exercised their legal right to refuse service to anyone. Sweet Cakes, a bakery in Gresham, Or came under Liberal oppression recently for refusing to make a “Lesbian Wedding Cake”. This bakery was standing up for the rights of […]

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    5 Ways To Tell If Your Neighbor Is A Suicide Bomber

    by Bruce Myron Danus - View all comments

    We here at Christwire have been fighting against racial profiling for years, but it still exists. Below, I will point out the “Danger Factors” of each Sand Sniffer, including a color code for the “simpler” users to understand. Going from 5 to 1 here, but they are all just important as the next one. #5: You will find them going through your recyclables to find tin cans to hide their I.U.D.s inside of. Terrorist are tricky people. The next can […]

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    Obama Murders George W. Bush’s Dog In Cold Blood

    by Bruce Myron Danus - View all comments

    Today, Flags will be flown at half-mast. It is a day that will live in infamy. Horrible crimes have been commited all across America, yet none stands out more clearly than the fact that our “President” is a cold-blooded murderer. That’s right, “President” Barrack Obama has gone into a tribal rage and murdered Barney Bush, the beloved former First Dog. The picture above clearly shows Obama going into his crazy Sub-Saharan Tribal hunting rage and murdering Barney, fortunately, the Secret […]

    God Smites Australia, Just as Sister Susan Warned!!!

    by Susan B. Xenu - View all comments

    Exactly a year ago I told you people that Australia was an evil god forsaken place. You doubted me. Do you doubt me now? God has smited them with fire, hurricanes and now sea foam. SEA FOAM! If that isn’t God smiting you then I don’t know what is! Of course,  those dirty kangaroo humping sodomites down there wont accept responsibility for bringing it on themselves. They are blaming “Global Climate Change”.  Well I can tell you right now. Stop […]

    Obama Violates Constitution By Bypassing Senate, Time To Impeach

    by Abe - View all comments

    Obama violates constitution, this time he has been caught red-handed appointing people blocked by the Senate.

    Obama Is A Kenyan, Proofed By Fly On Head

    by Abe - View all comments

    Look at the head of Barack Obama.  For years now I have told you he is a natural born Kenyan and you tried to call me a ‘birther’.  Only days after Beyonce lip synced the national anthem and heralded the reinauguration of this fake birth certificate man, we see the Lord of the Flies is using his powers here. Have you ever noticed in the videos on the tv, how Africans have flies on them and are so comfortable they don’t even […]

    10 Americans More Deserving of a Holiday than Martin Luther King Jr

    by Senator August Weisz - View all comments

    (chrisTwire)—Today is Martin Luther King Day. The only holiday honoring a single American. The media goes into a frenzy praising a man who was legally named Michael King and was a plagiarist, communist, solicitor of prostitutes, and physical abuser. One thing is for sure, getting shot does not make you a better American. Somebody, somewhere, must be more deserving, so we polled six thousand Americans over the period of Jan 6-18 and asked them what American deserved a holiday the […]