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    Miley Tops Maxim Hot 100 By The Power of Photoshop, Questional Images

    by Adam Nelson - View all comments

    Miley tops Maxim in a brilliant show of racy photoshoots, marketing and nice photoshopped images to her Instagram. If I had not Googled this image and verified it with my colleagues from several other sources, there is no way I could have believed this was Miley Cyrus. Graciebow’s creeper moment notwithstanding, Miley Cyrus is being named the hottest woman of 2013 by Maxim. As a woman who can appreciate the total package of another woman, I really do not get […]

    Pit Bull Saves Woman, Proves All Dogs Man’s Best Friend

    by Cadence Appleton - View all comments

    A pit bulls saves a woman from a burning home and is now being hailed as a hero. As a breed, pit bulls get a tough treatment in the court of public opinion. Stories about the breed’s aggressive nature are abundant, so it is good to see a story detailing their help in saving human life. The pit bulls saved the woman from a fire in her Long Island, New York, home. As flames began to spread throughout the home, […]

    Celebrities Visit SiriusXM Studios

    Is Daryl from The Walking Dead a secret emosexual?

    by Arthur Durry - View all comments

    FEW shows on television are more disgusting than Game of Thrones,  16 & Pregnant and Smash. But there are still a few. One of these is The Walking Dead, a high-concept post-apocalyptic drama series based on a series of crudely drawn comic books that everybody now claims that they were reading long before the smut peddlers at AMC hired a bunch of licentious English actors to turn them into cheap, splattering, fornication-heavy televisual trash with which to capture undiscriminating eyeballs […]

    My Chemical Romance carries what is left of their career

    My Chemical Romance Breaks Up, Emosexuals Around The World Commit Mass Suicide

    by Bruce Myron Danus - View all comments

    As soon as news broke about the break-up of My Chemical Romance, millions of children ages 11-16 went on Twitter and Facebook to log their disappointment and pen their social media suicide notes.  MCR, as they are known by “Scene Kids” and “Emo kids” around the world, told everyone today that they were calling it quits.  This band has written anthems for the degenerate youth of today like “Welcome to the black parade”, that encourage dressing in black, wearing black […]

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    Will Russia get Alaska back because of gay marriage?

    by Arthur Durry - View all comments

    FOR many years worried Christians have been warning that gay marriage would lead to all sorts of terrible consequences — legalised paedophilia, Mormon polygamy and furrysexual furverts marrying their long-suffering huskies (and continuing to do unnatural things to their sheaths and tail holes). But not even in their sweatiest fever dreams could American Christians have imagined that the cost of Barack Obama’s support of homosexualist matrimony would be losing the great state of Alaska. But now Russian Christians have taken […]

    Faint hope: A Pokemon possibly dying of bird flu yesterday

    Pokemon has a bird-flu cock snot problem

    by Arthur Durry - View all comments

    IT’S no secret that Pokemon is the most vile, sadistic and insidious animal-fighting game ever inflicted on an entire generation of impressionable children. Even now, it could be breeding a whole new legion of Michael Vickses who think that it’s perfectly fine to force dogs to fight to the death just because they grew up watching that sort of sicko action on low-quality Japanese cartoons. But could Pokemon bear an even greater guilt? Could it already have a human death […]

    Award-Winning ChristWire Writer Marcos Figueroa Passes Away in Plainfield Car Accident

    by Mike Watson - View all comments

    It  is with grieved hearts that we announce the loss of a wonderful writer, great friend, loving father, unique comedian and irreplaceable soul, Marcos Figueroa.  Marcos ‘Marky Figs’ Figueroa passed away early this morning after a traffic accident on I-55 in Plainfield, Illinois.   According to CBS Chigaco, the accident took place after the car he was driving became disabled and was struck at highway speeds by a semitruck.  He was lifeflighted to an area hospital, where he passed away.  Marcos was 26. Marcos Figueroa gained critical […]

    Not a care in the world: "Lycra lout" cyclists aren't doing enough to help the global energy crisis.

    Is it time to ban bicycles from our streets?

    by Arthur Durry - View all comments

    IT’S no secret that cyclists are the most annoying, irresponsible, anti-social, smug, self-righteous hipster scofflaws on our roads. Whether you’re a pedestrian or you drive a 22-wheel road train delivering new Hummers to the local dealership, you know very well the sinister scourge of the cyclist. These self-styled “lycra louts” are constantly running red lights, knocking over law- abiding women and children while illegally riding on the footpath, failing to come to a  complete stop at stop signs, taking up whole lanes […]

    Who is the real victim here?

    Gays Refused Flowers and Cake… By Jesus

    by Bruce Myron Danus - View all comments

    Recently, I wrote about a bakery in Portland, Oregon that was being unfairly protested, and now it seems that a Florist in Richland, Washington is suffering the same fate. The woman, Baronelle Stutzman, told her longtime homosexualist customer, of over 20 years, that she could not supply flowers for his illegal gay “marriage” ceremony because Jesus told her it was improper and against his will. This backside diddling gay became irate and smashed every flower in the store due to […]

    With Hugo Chavez Dead, Should America Take Venezuela Oil by Force?

    by Mike Watson - View all comments

    America’s secret ally in the oil war has finally succumbed to ‘illness’, most likely caused by esponiage from the Soviets.  Hugo Chavez died yesterday from a rare form of cancer that the KGB is known to inflict upon its politial enemies.  It is no coincidence that the South American strongman died during the reign of Barack Obama, a conspirator in a socialist global agenda to weaken America. As a young man, it was not uncommon to see photos of young […]

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    Tim Tebow stiffens himself for new thrust; no longer soft on gays

    by Arthur Durry - View all comments

            AMERICA’S most Christian, most heterosexual footballer, Tim “Teabag” Tebow, has stiffened himself for a new thrust in his war on homosexuality. Tebow had recently been accused of going soft on gays after he made a limp withdrawal from speaking at the megachurch of pastor Robert Jeffress, a man renowned for his frothy denunciations of men who play the pink oboe, the rusty trombone and veritable orchestra pit of other wood instruments. But Tebow was only pulling out of Jeffress’s […]

    Will Obama crown himself God in Israel?

    by Arthur Durry - View all comments

    IT’S no secret that Barack Obama has an ego the size of Kenya. After all, it takes a real megalomaniac to wake up one day and say to himself: “Self, I think I deserve to be the most powerful man in the world!” But could Obama be about to go one step further and crown himself as God — the very creator of Heaven and Earth — in the Holy Land of Israel? Christian broadcaster Rick Wiles thinks so. “Obama may simply be […]

    Proof That Beyonce and Sasha Fierce Are Satan’s Illuminati Hand Maidens

    by Abe - View all comments

    After we watched the Super Bowl halftime show, we all could only come to one conclusion.  Beyonce is a hand-maiden of Satan.  For the longest time, our colleague Craige Lewis warned that her husband, Jay-Z, was trying to be the Anti-Christ. There is a song called “HOVA”. It starts out H to the Izzo, V to the Izzy. H is what it is.  Izzo is slang for “O” in ebonic speak.  V is what it is.  Izzay is “A” in […]

    A bit fishy: An Australian tries to rescue a lungfish that had been struck by the Almighty yesterday.

    God smites evolutionist lungfish in new Queensland flood

    by Arthur Durry - View all comments

    IT’S no secret that God hates evolution, so it’s no surprise that He chose to smite an evolutionist lungfish as He smote Queensland with yet another holy flood this week. As Sister Susan has so insightfully reported, God has been smiting the Australian redneck state of Queensland with fires, floods, cyclones and sea foam all year. This plague of plagues  has followed on from the floods of 2011, during which God killed some 40 Queenslanders in his holy rage. Until now, the […]

    God Strikes Hugo Chavez Dead At 58 Photos, Hugo Chavez Esta Muerto!

    by Reverend Clyde H. Higgins - View all comments

    Hola mi amigos! Buenvenidos and Ding Dong, for the Dictator Hugo Chavez is dead!  God struck Hugo Chavez dead today with his awesome power!  Let this be a message to all dictators!  If God’s President Bush called you out into the Axis of Evil, your days are numbered! For years Hugo Chavez broke the greatest commands of the Bible, refusing to bow before America’s glory and freely share all the oil in his country with the nation drafted to protect […]