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    The Blacks Will Kill Us All: “Django Unchained” Review

    by Mark E. Figs - View all comments

    By Mark E. Figs. Kill Whitey, kill kill kill all crackers — a line from “Django Unchained” After 300 years, you’d think the black would be over slavery. We have given them shelter, equal  access to materials and services, and every chance to succeed in Christ’s AMERICA, yet they still wanna trot around like darn buffoons and act like uncivilized baboons. They want to promote the senseless killing of white Christians, and disguise it under the guise of “satire” or […]

    Pope Benedict Joins Twitter to Cleanse it of Howard Stern @HowardStern

    by Reverend Clyde H. Higgins - View all comments

    Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy Pope Benedict joined Twitter early Wednesday morning after new reports that Howard Stern (@HowardStern) corrupted over 1,345,000 followers with gross potty jokes and explicit pictures of his sidekick ‘Robyn’, a Wanda Sykes styled comedian who many of his fan’s Twitter fans voted to be 2012′s most desirable woman. Since being elevated to a ‘judge’ on America’s Got Talent, Howard Stern found a new degree of power, authority and […]

    Kim Jong Un Voted Time’s 2012 Funniest Man on Earth, Edges out Jim Carrey

    by Chuck Reagan - View all comments

    Kim Jon Un and pop-singer Psy pose for a North Korea versus South Korea pair-up, Un loosening back on tensions with South Korea in this humorous photograph.  Un’s brilliant timing in media opportunities poking self-deprecating humor to raise media attention for his country has him listed as this year’s Funniest Man on Earth, 2012.  Kim Jong Un, the new dictator of North Korea, has become a media darling.  Still gloating after being named Time’s 2012 Sexiest Dictator of the Year, […]

    Drugged Driving Causes 50% Increase in Traffic Accidents, Colorado Stoners and /r/trees to Blame

    by Amber - View all comments

    Denver, Colorado – Only weeks after the powerful Reddit /r/trees political lobby flexed its muscle and forced Democrat lawmakers to push for marijuana legalization in ‘at least two “green” states’, the number of traffic accidents and fatalities in Washington State and Colorado have sharply increased.  New studies released by the Family Research Council reveal the new incidence of ‘drugged driving’, that is, people who driving while under the intoxicating influence of marijuana are to blame. Marijuana is a dangerous gateway drug. […]

    Who is Earl Sweatpants?: A Primer For Christian Parents

    by Mark E. Figs - View all comments

      By Mark E. Figs  (Earl Sweatpants on the left, upset that he has to be the “bottom” or receiver of penis, for Tyler the Creator, AGAIN)   I really wish I didn’t have to do this. I really wish I didn’t have to write ANOTHER article exposing the recklessness of young Negros. About their immoral decisions. About their penchant to abuse welfare and God’s design for sexual intercourse. About their willingness to openly talk about drugs and drunkenness. But recent events have me spooked. […]

    God Is Killing Hugo Chavez; AMEN!

    by Mark E. Figs - View all comments

    by Mark E. Figs (Pizza Pizza!, he thinks.) Obese hate-monger and anti-American Godless man of filth, Hugo Chavez is facing the ill effects of chastising the greatness of America, as he suffers another cancer-related setback. It’s apparent that God is punishing this disgusting Socialist heathen for speaking ill of Christ’s beautiful invention, America. Just another day at the office for the leader of a Latin American country. When will these pagan neanderthals learn that speaking ill of Christ’s America only ends […]

    Miss Hillary Clinton at a political function as she's starting to feel the effects of the Japanese stomach virus, pokerus

    Hillary Clinton Ill After Being Infected With Pokerus. Pokemon To Blame

    by Sandra O'connor - View all comments

    Comrades, I bring you news of the political world of things in regards to Miss Hillary Clinton being ill. Her office staff was kinda enough to let us know that she is recovering from the Japanese stomach virus called pokerus. One can catch this virus simply by eating oriental foods and having contact with oriental folk during the holiday seasons such as Thanksgiving and also and of course Christmas. The Japanese have developed a way to transfer their vile stomach […]

    God Kills Giant Whale in Malibu, Blows Stench Over Town to Punish Celebrities for Crappy Hollywood Movies

    by Amber Vos Savant - View all comments

    God is finally weighing in on the issue of Hollywood making horrible, thoughtless movies as of late.  Only hours after the Red Dawn remake was released in theaters, unbeknowst to Hollywood producers, God was not impressed with the ridiculous idea of North Koreans terrorizing an American town with their non-existant armies of destruction. Seriously, how does North Korea go from being the punch-line of a South Park episode, to being a terrifying menace on par with 1980s-era Soviet Russia? Perhaps […]

    Why I Say “Bitch” And The War On Men.

    by Mark E. Figs - View all comments

    By Mark E. Figs (An angry Negress, upset that her Negro husband would not give her the car keys to go be in the “Bad Girls Club.”) Everywhere you look, men are being attacked and persecuted for having penises and muscular strength. Certain words or phrases that we used to be able to say freely and with a proud sense of honor, words  like “bitch” “whore” “harlot” “slutty maidservant” and “sandwich machine” are labeled as wrong and misogynistic, and are met […]

    Catfish Walks on Land to Eat Pigeons

    by Abe - View all comments

    The beaching catfish is the latest threat to Creationist teaching, as we can clearly see in this video. The fish has somehow learned how to beach itself in shallow water, nearly ‘walking’ on land so that it can eat birds. Atheists are naturally hailing this as proof of evolution, citing that somehow that genes of this creature have improved themselves to the point that it can hunt in such a manner. Schoolbooks will soon herald this fish as proof of […]

    Ann Coulter Defends Obama’s Tax Plan, “We Lost The Election”

    by Adam Nelson - View all comments

    Hell has frozen over and the Adam-appled blonde at the apocalypse has appeared, but in a shocking twist, is spewing out words that defend President Barack Obama’s recovery plan for America. As the nation heads toward the so-called ‘fiscal cliff’, in is none other than Ann Coulter, the most stand-in-line Republican woman in the GOP, actually chiding her fellow Republicans for not agreeing to end the historic Bush-era tax cuts for Americans who make over $200,000 a year. In essence, […]

    New Epic Will Ferrell Moustache Confession of Homosexuality?

    by Mike Collins - View all comments

    Will Ferrell is in the headlines this week, not for a new movie but for perhaps revealing to the public a long, deep-harbored secret: he likes the backside pleasure. At the Art Basel last week, Ferrell showed up with what homosexual insiders call a ‘stink stache’. The stink stache is a popular feature in the gay community, allowing a man to ‘contain’ the musk of his partner in his facial hair, so he can lust for him throughout the day […]

    Racist Sorority Photo by Chi Omega Is Not That Bad

    by Abe - View all comments

    The fine women of Chi Omega sorority have drawn media attention this week for the photo above.  Many touchy media groups are turning this photograph, displaying humor common amongst college students, into a big deal and saying that the sorority photograph is racist.   What do you think?

    Why Obamacare Will Bankrupt America

    by Amber Vos Savant - View all comments

    United States of America – Americans have a tendency of being altruistic. Despite being built upon the principles of rugged individualism and advantageous capitalism, America has progressed into a country that takes responsibility where it does not have to do so. The United States regularly funds billions to foreign nations, intercedes to relieve countries during a crisis and has stepped up to the plate in the midst of oppressive war and destruction. In American society, it is expected that neighbors […]

    Twins Fighting in Womb Revealed by New MRI, The Story of Cain and Able

    by Reverend Clyde H. Higgins - View all comments

    A new type of MRI called oversampling reveals video of twins fighting in the womb, delivering another glancing blow against secularists who beleive life does not start in the womb.  Taken in London, England, the video reveals that in the womb, twins joust and elbow for more room in the womb, showing competition and survival are innate characteristics exhibited by humans before birth. The MRI scanning is a very specialized technique that can be used to find potential problems with […]