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    establish barack obama liberal agenda

    EBOLA: Establish Barack Obama’s Liberal Agenda

    by Abe - View all comments

    A commentator named Carlos Jones blessed us all to know the titular line that brought you here today, my dear friends and brave readers.  No matter what walk in life from which you come, today you have gathered here with people from all around the world, because you are worried about Barack Obama and how he is ushering in a new era of Satanic liberal darkness for mankind. All last week, millions of readers tuned in after learning Barack Obama […]

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    There Is A New Drug in Your Child’s High School. It is Called Marijuana Wax and It Is 20 Times Deadlier Than Normal Marijuana!

    by Abe - View all comments

    Heads up parents, there is a deadly new drug on the street and it’s 20 times deadlier than normal marijuana! The police are warning parents with high school and college aged children to immediately have ‘the talk’ about this dangerous new form of marijuana. Waxed marijuana is made from the condensed oils of normal cannabis marijuana plants.  While traditional mary-j is usually smoked, in recent years kids have developed edible marijuana (etc., marijuana Kandies, Devil’s Lettuce, Marcy’s Playground and pot […]

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    President Obama Wields Mjölnir, Is Obviously Not a Christian

    by Abe - View all comments

    It looks like we can add Liberally Dark Son of Odin to President Obama’s growing list of titles. Earlier today, a photo surfaced that shows Obama clearly wielding the powerful Mjölnir, a supernatural weapon created by the ancient Norse people. Much like the ancient Egyptians, the Norse were a warlike Pagan cult who all fell on their knees and worshiped the false god Odin. There are numerous historical references to Odin and it is most likely he was a fallen angel […]

    Should Black People In Ferguson Just Calm Down and Agree to Disagree It’s Okay For Police to Shoot Unarmed Black Teenagers?

    by Abe - View all comments

    For some reason, the black people of Ferguson, Missouri, are so very angry about police shooting them with rubber bullets and throwing tear gases in their faces.   These people need to “Let go and let God.” They need to let God heal their tense, rioting hearts and just go home and get back to enjoying their life.  They have to understand that sometimes, young black men in America are going to get shot at by police and brave neighborhood watch officers. […]

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    Black Man Tries to Camouflage Himself with Khaki Shorts and White Dancing, Still Gets Arrested by Ferguson Police

    by Jerry Cohen - View all comments

    The Ferguson Police Department is still on the prowl for trouble and have arrested another black man. On late Friday, Ferguson police confirmed they caught and caged a dangerously black man trying to camouflage himself in white people clothing. “We received calls about a suspiciously black man prowling close to a nice shopping area, so we went ahead and investigated,” reported Officer Nick Lowery. “When we arrived, we saw a black male walking around the parking lot,frantically swinging his arms and searching […]

    Robin Williams Diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease

    by Abe - View all comments

    Robin Williams’ wife, Susan Schneider, revealed the actor was in the early stages of Parkinson’s disease. The author was pronounced dead at the age of 63 earlier this week. Robin Williams died with his sobriety intact, according to his wife.  The actor was found in his home with a belt around his neck, indicating he passed from an apparent suicide.  Williams long fought with depression and with the recent revelation from his wife, it is definitely understable that he was […]

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    Washington DC Police Arrest Suspiciously Black Man for “Breaking and Entering”

    by Jerry Cohen - View all comments

      Obama broods after cops mistakenly profile and arrest him for being ‘suspciously black’ outside the White House.   Washington, DC – Washington, D.C., police responded to a call at 1500 Pennsylvania Avenue, after reports of a ‘suspciously black’ man lurking around the front door was reported by an anonymous onlooker. “The call came later into the night, so it was hard to determine who the suspect was as we approached him.  He was wearing blue jeans and a blue […]

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    Should America Replace Government Police Forces with Private Business Police Forces

    by Frank Meyer - View all comments

    FERGUSON, MO – A government-created police force has created yet another social disaster in Ferguson, Missouri. An officer was caught shooting a young, black male and since that time, racial divide has increased in America and a community looks like a small warzone. In the age of social media, there is obviously a problem with some police officers abusing their power. We have seen countless videos of police brutally beating, choking citizens to death, speeding and breaking all sorts of […]

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    21 Secret Terms For What Gay Men Call Their ‘Wood Pecker’

    by Abe - View all comments

    Gay men are spectacularly fascinated with naming conventions for genitalia.  If you spend more than five minutes in a gay bar or neighborhood watched meeting, you will see their quick, darty eyes constantly stealing lusty glimpses at midsections, trying to get a ‘sneak peak’ of the goods.   And let me tell you, there is not much funnier than a gay man when he is all riled up, creative juices fueled by well-mixed Cosmo ticklers. I regularly do undercover Christian investigations […]

    Jesus and Angel Blowing Trumpet Appear Over Florida

    by Abe - View all comments

    Instead of a sunrise in the East Coast of America today, we were treated to a glimpse of inspirational glory. Huffington Post writer Fionna Finn posted this beautiful picture today, which clearly shows Jesus in the foreground flexing his muscles and showing his power to protect us, while in the background on the right you can see an angel bent over in the middle of a soul-moving trumpet solo to wake up God’s country. With all the tragedy we’ve endured […]

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    Oscar Winning Actor Robin Williams Dies of Apparent Suicide

    by Abe - View all comments

      Tragic news on the news wire from Hollywood, California.  According to reports from the Marin County, California, polic department, Robin Williams has died at the age of 63.  The legendary actor and comedian died from an apparent suicide. The Marin County Police released the following statement: On August 11, 2014, at approximately 11:55 a.m, Marin County Communications received a 9-1-1 telephone call reporting a male adult had been located unconscious and not breathing inside his residence in unincorporated Tiburon, CA. The […]

    Is Obama Using Facebook Messenger To Spy On You?

    by Abe - View all comments

    Barack Obama has now found a way to ruin Facebook for everyone.  Earlier today our friends at KTLA made the big reveal that Facebook Messenger’s terms imply that Obama could use it to turn on your smartphone camera at any time he wants, and then spy on you on your day to day life. It was just another day for the Turpensmith family. They were relaxing in their quaint Georgia home when a horrible shriek came from their teenage daughters […]

    obama supermoon

    Obama Occultists Dance Under Supermoon To Worship New Age of Liberal Darkness

    by Abe - View all comments

      Obama extends his left hand over the masses gathered in rainy Washington, D.C. this evening, all out so they could celebrate the supermoon during the witching hours of night. Democrats in DC are celebrating their latest accomplishments in destroying America’s relationship with Jesus tonight.  Gathered under the supermoon, the liberals chanted “Obama, Obama” as rain poured from the skies.  The rain was tears of angels crying because so many Americans have turned their backs on Jesus.    

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    24 Christian Alternative Words for “Vagine”

    by Abe - View all comments

    Often times in the course of our ministry, we must go into whispering details about the ‘secret place’ of women aka their (whisper it,  ‘vagine‘).  When doing education, especially to women and children, it would be uncouth to even whisper the actual name.  It is much more pleasant and euphonious of sound to use moral nomenclature to educate about the secracies.  Here are 24 Christian alternative words for you to use in your ministry. There are angel wings and deviled […]