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    Welcome to Congress, YouTube

    by Abe - View all comments

    The leaders of both the Senate and the House announce that Congress is now in session, on YouTube. You can now find your Representatives and Senators’ YouTube channels on two new special platforms:The House Hub: http://www.youtube.com/househubThe Senate Hub: http://www.youtube.com/senatehubThis is your backstage pass to your government – so connect with your elected leaders on YouTube today.
    Welcome to Congress, YouTube was uploaded by: househub
    Duration: 103

    Yo Comments Are Whack!

    by Abe - View all comments

    Herein Alexandra and Lizz throw down some rhymez in response to the phenomenon of YouTube haters and their whack comments. (Adapted from “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot.)**DISCLAIMER: A number of people have pointed out that not all thirteen-year-olds use incorrect spelling and grammar. This is a fair point, and we’d like to note that we are, indeed, well aware that a number of thirteen-year-olds are highly articulate. It was the best we could come up with as a rhyme, unfortunately, so we kept it in there, although it is the one lyric with which we are less than happy. We have no more desire to hate on thirteen-year-olds than we do on epileptic porcupines (apologies in advance to any of those who might be watching this video, as well). Also, as OrsoIclaim so insightfully points out in the comments, such statements might seem to imply that “if you’re 13, you’re ALLOWED to talk lyke dis.” Allow us to formally state that we by no means sanction the use of improper spelling and grammar among people of any age. Thanks! **Lyrics:Oh, my God. Lizz, look at this Youtube comment. It is so grammatically incorrect.It looks like it was written by an epileptic porcupine who speaks English as a third language.Yeah, but, you know, who understands those YouTube haters’ comments anyway?They only spend hours derogatively responding to other people’s videos because they lack the creative capacity to produce compelling and entertaining video content of their own. I mean, their insults, they’re just so… Lame?We like proper English and we cannot lieYou YouTubers can’t denyThat when illiterate kids start hating on your vidsWith ignorant crass repliesYou’re ashamed, of your fellow man’Cause you realize they don’t understandBasic principles of writingPlus their insults are unexcitingOh baby, we wanna go meet ’emAnd try to teach ’emSome basic diction and grammarOr smash their heads in with a hammer!First of all, punctuationThat’s a very good place to startJust use some, use some’Cause otherwise it’s a run-on!We’ve seen whole comments,57-word comments,without a period, comma,or semicolon to be seenWe’re tired of starin’ at the screen,Tryin’ to figure out what you mean.Take a couple seconds to end your sentence,So you won’t sound thirteen.So haters! (Yeah) Haters! (Yeah!)Do your comments need translators? (Yeah!)Then punctuate. Capitalize.It makes a difference, guys!Yo comments are whack.You like to swear and curseAnd use hateful wordsYou just can’t help yourself, you have to take your feelings outOn innocent people.Every other wordIs (booop), maybe or, (booop booop).We’re not looking for Dr. SeussJust cut back on the harsh abuse.You always seem like you’re screamin’So please turn off your capslockGotta tone it down,Only capitalize proper nouns.So I’m lookin at Top Videos,Is that comment talking bout “hose”?If you’re gonna insult meAt least spell it correctly.A word to the comment spammers, what are you thinking?I don’t want you linkin’To your porno site. in my video about TwilightAnd Breaking Dawn.(Edward’s got it goin’ on)But to get back to our songU like 2 type numbers and lettersAnd we r not sure yAnd for some strange reasonYou pluralize by adding z’s on.So haters! (Yeah?) Haters! (Yeah?)You think I should get a life? (Hell Yeah!)Well, what about you? You’re spending your timeWatching my supposedly lame video and commenting on it and stuffYo comments are whack!”dood u look liek a emo punk b**** seriusly i want my 4 min back later youtube im out ~johnny””wtf r u some kind of gay hobo the best you can do is stick ur head in a toilet u lame dork nurd”So you’re clearly homophobic, throwin’ words like “queer” and “faggot,”Or else you refer to racial slurs, regardlessOf whether they apply in con-Text or make sense at allYou can operate a computerBut you don’t know how to spellI know some words are trickyLike “what” and “our” and “know”You could make some flashcardsIt’s really not that hardPlus you’re callin’ people fatAnd we ain’t down with that’Cuz you’re hiding behind your usernameLike it’s some kinda game.To the You Tube Haters and SlammersJust listen to one last thingWhile we still have your attentionWe’ve got one more thing to mention.Sometimes “Your” is possessive,But other times it means You Are.Put apostrophes when you need em,And otherwise just delete em.So haters if you’re too confusedAbout which form of “their” to useGo to sistersalad’s YouTube pageAnd learn some ways to makeYo comments less whackYo comments are whackThink you’re bein’ clever but yo comments are whackCan’t even understand you ‘cuz yo comments are whackTryin’ to be funny but yo comments are whackLooking like a hack ‘cuz yo comments are whack
    Yo Comments Are Whack! was uploaded by: sistersalad
    Duration: 268

    Bluegrass Jam in Brookline 2

    by Abe - View all comments

    Greg Fleischut (guitar-left), Etienne Cremieux (mandolin), Erik Oliver (guitar-right), April 2006
    Bluegrass Jam in Brookline 2 was uploaded by: mgorbis
    Duration: 296


    by Adam Nelson - View all comments

    Winner of “YouTube’s Project: Report”… Thanks to everyone who voted!Camphill California is a community where adults with developmental disabilities live, learn and work together. Residents experience a range of disabilities including but not limited to Fragile X syndrome, autism spectrum disorders, epilepsy and Down’s syndrome.To learn more about Camphill California visit:http://www.camphillca.org/To learn more about The Camphill Movement visit:http://www.camphill.org/Directed by Arturo Perez Jr.http://www.youtube.com/FlowersTheMovieProduced by the residents at Camphill CAhttp://www.camphillca.org/Music by Christian Hanlon & John McDermotthttp://www.myspace.com/scaredamericaPart of Project: Reporthttp://www.youtube.com/projectreport
    Abilities was uploaded by: FlowersTheMovie
    Duration: 300

    Bury The Hatchet – Part 1

    by Abe - View all comments

    http://www.comedydemon.com – Comedy demon brings you the tale of… Two Sisters, One Inheritance. One hell of a stipulation. And a truly dreadful lawyer. Starring Mighty Boosh legend Rich FulcherSee comedydemon.com for all episodes.
    Bury The Hatchet – Part 1 was uploaded by: ComedyDemonOfficial
    Duration: 310

    The View Hosts Mercilessly Attack Gentle, Soft Ann Coulter (video)

    by Jack Gould - View all comments

    In very heartbreaking footage, the dear and sweet Ann Coulter was mercilessly attacked by the liberal hosts of talk show The View. The usually poignant and eloquent Coulter was wounded by words hurled by the hosts, as they browbeat her for only trying to spread love, joy and good teaching. I’m completely appalled by the 8 minutes of torture Ann had to endure at the hands of Whoopi, Behar and Joy. These women owe Ann Coulter an apology. Coulter would […]

    Actress Janine Turner is on Team Sarah

    by Karen Gray - View all comments

    As mentioned earlier today, the ravenous left and friends are trying to convince everyone that Team Sarah is comprised if ugly, bigoted devil women who don’t appreciate equality and progress. As evidenced by teh beautiful actress Janine Turner, such cannot be any more far removed from the truth. According to various reports, Miss Janine Turner is the newest addition to Team Sarah. Go team, go!

    Looney Liberals Complaining about TeamSarah.org

    by Abe - View all comments

    Even though Sarah Palin messed up John McCain’s presidency chance due to a few personal faults, like the good women who built up TeamSarah.org everyone naturally realizes we’ll need a strong, brilliant conservative like herself to lead the nation after Obama tries to turn us into a secular communist state, much like 80s Russia. As history has taught us, such empires always surely fall. And just as President Reagan and Pope John Paul II stood victorious over a fallen Kremlin, […]

    Matt Gormley Is An Awesome Singer and Indi Artist

    by Pat Heinkel - View all comments

    As has been the truth since Eve gave birth to the first child, kids have a natural love for music. Though as we know from genres such as The Gangster Rap and Rock n’ Roll music can be evil and hide satanic incantations, there is also some good music out there that your kids can enjoy. While there is always the good mainstream stuff like Big Daddy Weave and Jars of Clay for the younger folks, my kids like something […]

    Robotripping – A New Cough Syrup Concern For Parents

    by Abe - View all comments

    There is a new form of substance abuse that’s known in the vernacular as ‘Robotripping’. It is a very dangerous practice where teens are taking a very high dose of various cough medicines in order to induce a state of intoxication by the drugs. While some stores are now monitoring teen’s buying practices, parents must remain concerned and keep a look out for warning signs.

    Lincolnshire Man Claims to See UFO

    by Dan Nordgren - View all comments

    Secularists continue to try to advance the thought that we’re not alone in the universe, a Lincolnshire man this time advancing the plot. This rural man says he saw a UFO a’flyin’ over some windfields. This is obviously farce.

    Couple That Met on Internet Gets Married at Taco Bell

    by Amber - View all comments

    The sanctity of marriage continues to take a dive, as the advent of the internet had emboldened random strangers to meet up and get married. One of the most recent couples to partake in this strange form of union are in the following video. Instead of planning a traditional wedding, they were married in the fast-food place Taco Bell.

    Tim Tebrow Thanking Jesus After Winning Championship Game

    by Amber - View all comments

    As mentioend last week, the Oklahoma Sooners never stood a chance against the Florida Gators because of the awesomness of Tim Tebrow. During the championship game, this man child of two Christian missionaries neatly painted John 3:16 on his face and proceeded to deliver a peaceful whipping to the Sooners. Here is a video of Tebrow giving thanks to Jesus.

    Ben Bernanke Supports Obama’s Stimulus Package

    by Chuck Reagan - View all comments

    In an unprecedented act of Judasery, Federal Reserve head Benjamin Bernanke has abandoned Reaganomics and is praising Obama’s plan for giving everyone an economic stimulus. Bernanke expressed confidence that Obama’s plan, along with the Democrat ruled Congress, will help relieve American of its economic burden.

    Science Has Invented an Artificially Intelligent Real Touch Robot Vagina

    by Jack Gould - View all comments

    The Item: RealTouch Cyberdildonic Device Science has finally done the unthinkable and created the prototype for the unimaginable act of robot sex.  Yes, friends, the natural end result of allowing the homogay agenda and beyond is finally reaching its natural progression; human beings ‘procreating’ with machines. This abomination to life is called the ‘Sasha Grey’ or something along those lines. According to its creators (RealTouch), this technological monstrosity is technically called a cyberdildonics device. Yes, these people are totally making up […]