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    What If Nicholas Cage Did Wrecking Ball?

    by Abe - View all comments

    The most disturbing thing about Miley Cyrus’ new Wrecking Ball video occurs when you realize that with her haircut, Miley Cyrus resembles Justin Bieber from a distance. And then you realize, Justin Bieber could probably pass for a semi-attractive woman you would flesh-shank in a moment of lust. Now with that disturbing image in your head, enjoy Nicholas Cage in Wrecking Ball:

    Former Nigerian Scam Artist Prince Hakeem Amkala Now A Scientist, Only Needs Your Account Number to Cure Gay Marriage

    by Abe - View all comments

    Former Nigerian scam artist Prince Hakeem has taken on a new profession and is offering to cure ‘gay marriage’ if enough people give him their bank account numbers so he may transfer $1,000 to your account to do the final experiments in America where he can get his patent. I09 broke news of the miraculous scientific development. His mathematics of gay marriage is particularly illuminating. In an interview with This Day Live he says: In mathematics which is another core area of science, I used what […]

    Naval Gunyard Shooting Proves Need For Video Game Registry, Not Gun Registry

    by Cadence Appleton - View all comments

    Washington, DC (ChristWire) – As America mourns the loss of life following the naval gunyard shooting in Washington, it is time to take action on violent video games. Aaron Alexis, the accused gunman in the naval mass shooting, was allegedly addicted to violent video games. It seems that every time there is a terrible shooting in America, violent video games are to blame. With graphic imagery that confuses the mind with realistic 3D graphics and commanding hours of detailed attention, […]

    What Celebrities Actually Look Like Without Photoshop

    by Abe - View all comments

    A talented photoshop artist named Danny Evans gives us a look at what some famous celebrities would look like if they weren’t rich and famous, with billions to spend on photoshop and videoshop. It especially looks like Kanye and Kim are enjoying the fried chicken specials at Church’s.

    Google Knows Every WiFi Password on Earth

    by Thad Connely - View all comments

    ComputerWorld is reporting that search giant Google.com has the ability to scout and record every password on Earth.  The article reveals that since Android 2.2, every smartphone and tablet makes a backup recording of data -including WiFi passwords – that could be recorded by Google. While the search giant is not suspected of attaining such information, concerns from web and privacy activists stem from recent government sanctions upon social sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft, Yahoo! and Google.  The internet giants […]

    Creepy Clown Spooking Residents of Northampton

    by Dan Nordgren - View all comments

    A creepy clown is spooking residents of Northampton, UK.  Locals report that the clown is standing behind fence posts and at street corners, even peering from behind trees and staring at folks with nothing but a creepy smile and bizarre hand gestures. “He kept rubbing his shanks and smiling at me, slowly wobbling his head to and from like a drunken teletubby,” local Evoria Vanderrose laments.  “My daughter cried and we hurried away on foot, and he just kept on […]

    Man Without Arms Praises God

    by Matthias Bornheim - View all comments

    It is easy to be strong of faith when everything is going your way. When your body is healthy, your finances are strong and your day-to-day plans go unperturbed, you find yourself in a state of happiness as should be. But when you face challenges in life, when you must stand strong to overcome something or accept that there are some things in life you do not like but cannot change, what do you do? Do you stand defeated. To […]

    Grand Theft Auto 5, Teaching Children To Be Gang Members Since The 1990s

    by Sandra O'connor - View all comments

    Dearest Comrades, I come to you in all seriousness with the very real threat of one of the most violent and realistic gang-training simulation of all time; Grand Theft Auto 5. All me to give you some insight of how dangerous this game is to not only your young children but to your teens and ‘mature’ teens. The games have always had Gang related themes throughout the series and franchise. This time the game theme is training your kids and […]

    Female NFL Fans Furious Over New League’s Anti-Purse Laws

    by Abe - View all comments

    More Obama-era tyranny has ravaged another American past-time: NFL football. Female fans who want to go watch a game this year are in for a big shock: body scanners and purse bans. The Obama Administration has coerced the NFL to ‘tighten up’ security measures against potential terrorists who would use the venue of an NFL game to make a demonstration and bring tragedy to one of America’s favorite games. Due to this, the NFL was forced to not only make […]

    Female Russian Athletes Kiss to Defy Soviet Vladimir Putin’s Anti-Gay Olympic Laws

    by Abe - View all comments

    Two firm, fit athletes from Russia kiss to defy Vladimir Putin’s new anti-American gay laws. Moscow, Russia – For years I have warned the world that “Russia” is just a sham and that the true Soviet Union, bereft of equality for all, still lies beneath.  After the last American decade, where our great country has brought freedom to Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt and other lesser countries, the world has balked at us and put us under the microscope. Instead of recognizing […]

    God Explodes Japanese Volcano 500th Time This Year To Destroy Fukushima Godzilla Creature Nests

    by Abe - View all comments

    Behold the power of God! Wammo! Here we see God is nuking Mount Mordor outside Fukushima, because within a fiery volcano Satan is using all the Fukushima nuclear reactant runoff to splice DNA and create evolved genetic abominations! Here in this evidence you can see Satan has evolved a winged Godzilla lizard!  Look at the vile beast bay its hay skyward and shriek in defiance to God!  There were no creatures like this on Noah’s ark so that means that […]


    Drugs, Racism, and Mostly Naked Trainers All In The Pokemon Games

    by Sandra O'connor - View all comments

    Dearest Comrades, Let me be the first to point out to you all that the Pokémon games have tempted and cheated your sons and daughters into tricking your eyes that they are noble and dedicated Christians! They have been lying and cheating you into thinking that they are well behaved little school children and obedient offspring to do chores and homework when they’re told to. It’s all a bunch of lies and deceptions! The years have come and gone with […]

    Chinese Man Tries To Sneak On Plane With Pet Turtle Disguised as Cheeseburger

    by Amber Vos Savant - View all comments

    Chinese man tries to sneak on plane with pet turtle disguised as cheeseburger One resourceful man from China tried to sneak his pet turtle through customs by hiding the creature in a hamburger container.  The man slapped two slices of bread, lettus, tomato and special sauce on the turtle, trying to fully hide its identity the South China Morning Post reports. The backstory here starts in the terminal for a China Southern Airline.  A man wanted to sneak his pet […]

    Cross of Jesus Found? Proves Christianity Is Real

    by Reverend Clyde H. Higgins - View all comments

    Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy Atheists worldwide tremble in fear tonight, because archaeologists have found the cross of Jesus. Everyone from Richard Dawkins to Neil DeGrasse Tyson must now sleep with one eye open, as they lay scared in the dark that Satan may be lurking in the shadows, salivating for their non-repentant souls.

    German Mother Pops Out 13.47 Pound Baby, Vaginally

    by Mike Collins - View all comments

    Sin-shooter, neighbor-of-anus, the slurping salmon.  Call it what you will, but somewhere in Germany a mother popped out a 13.47 pound baby, vaginally. Shocked Asian doctor to the right cannot even calculate how this baby was able to pop out. In a headline that can only come from post-nuclear Chernobyl or a random village in eastern Germany (which this does), a German baby named Jasleen has taken the title of the world’s heaviest baby. Being a tough German woman who […]