America has joined with the likes of Brazil and Egypt to express anger over eHero Eric Snowden, who leaked documents revealing that Obama and the NSA have spied on American’s phone calls. While many in the government are throwing around the words traitor and Judas when referring to Snowden, the world at large and many everyday Americans are hailing him a hero. Today the story of Eric Snowden affected Bolivia, as a plane carrying the country’s president was forbidden to […]
Florida father beats man for peeping his fifteen-year-old daughter. Jacksonville, Florida – A Jacksonville father finally caught a peeping tom who had been getting eye-jollies off his fifteen-year-old daughter. The backstory here started when the Jacksonville family spotted someone peaking through their home window on several occasions. One of the times, they found damage to their screen windows and were on guarded alert. Then on Sunday, the silhouetted figure got an identity: James Lowery. According to police reports, Lowery allegedly […]
Great tragedy in Arizona as 19 firefighters killed while heroically saving a town of 700. The wildfires started after the dry American Southwest experienced a week of unprecedented high temperatures. The elite crew of firefighters were specially trained to take on the most fierce wildfires and lost their lives as they tried to shield themselves from flames, under fire-resistant shields. The fire started when lightning struck down, igniting a blaze that quickly spread over 2,000 acres in the triple digit […]
Florida atheists perform requisite updating of their Facebook ritual as they take pictures of each other in front of the new Flying Spaghetti Monster Memorial of America, where they will make pilgrimages to every year to celebrate and worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. In the above images, the ‘noodled appendages’ of the Flying Spaghetti Monster form a protective, futuristic space cocoon around the letter A, denoting the atheist belief that a non-god protects all their rights, life and freedom. This […]
Andy Sixx stands erect as frenzied by the throbbing sounds of Jinxx’s guitar crescendo and wafting marijuana throw the airs of Colorado, a pack of wild college co-eds clamor for their chance to have a public “Biersacking” on stage with the modern day Ron Jeremy in Corinthian leathers, Andy Biersack. As I investigated things to warn you about today, I was not shocked to find my old sparring buddy Andy Biersack is still inventing new ways to make female fans […]
You have to see it to believe it, so here you go: Now available at fine retailers near you, comes booze tubes full encased in the all-too-familiar tampon brand packaging. While there may be some McDowell’s vs. McDonald’s style, courtesy of Coming to America styled corporate brand discrepancy shenanigans, I have to imagine that the amount of students sneaking off to use the loo in the coming schoolyear will greatly increase. It is worth saying, parents, sneak into your daughter’s […]
Only two days after the Supreme Court overturned DOMA and greenlit gay marriage in every state that will legalize it, the temperatures in California and Nevada have sizzled. The burning passions and celebrations of gay couples have been so furious, that it is actually causing a global warming effect. For years I fought against the thought of global warming, but now we see that there is a direct correlation between the number of frenzied gay marriage couples and the quick […]
Pokémon is a dangerous game released by Blizzard, the same company responsible for titles like Skyrim and World of Witchcraft. Pokémon is basically a spinoff of Spore, a game where the player is taught that creatures ‘evolve’ from bacteria in the ocean to space-faring races who can recreate life on a whim. For parents worried that their young ones may become involved in Pokémon, here are the most dangerous Poke Balls you may hear your child talking about. As the […]
If you are the 24-year-old son of Qatar’s ruling family, rich from oil-wealth, a $500,000 glow in the dark Lamborghini is within the realm of ‘reasonable to own’. Unfortunately for the Qatar royal, British police are not very fond of fast, glow-in-the dark Lamborghinis spooking the streets of London.
Science is sorcery. If you do not agree with that, then I welcome you to read Genesis 1:1 and answer the question where the Bible says “In the beginning, Scientists created heaven and the Earth.” You will find that it does not, because there is only one Master Scientist, and his name is not richard dawkins. But I digress. This video easily proves that science is sorcery.
Let’s face it: the Earth is getting warmer. Global warming is a reality. We better figure something out before the day after tomorrow. If the trend in underwear fashion isn’t proof enough, perhaps just our general sense of common sense should be. Winters around the country have become more sporadic, and the deep freeze winters from childhood are truly just a distant memory. Winter used to mean frost-bitten faces and a hawky gale so cold from the North, that Mike […]
Barack Obama Vows to Remove Cursive Handwriting As Requirement in School, So Future Generations Cannot Read Constitutionby Mike Watson - View all comments
Barack Obama has a secret, new agenda that is aimed directly at the freedom of your children. Hidden deep within the Affordable Care Act that not one Congressional leader has read from start to finish, Obama and his minions in the Senate hid legislation that allows schools to remove teaching the cursive handwriting to students. Without knowledge of how to read cursive, these students have no ability to read historical documents, sign legal documents or bank notes, or even become […]
The Homogay Agenda has made bold moves against the ailing Moral Majority. For years, we all knew this day would come. The hippie philosopher Kurt Cobain said of his generation, “What more can I say, everyone is gay.” And I think with the new generation of America, everyone is a little gay friendly. Much like Paula Deen, I is what I is. I am a Reverend who was raised in the Bible belt. When I see one of my grandkids […]
A great white shark attacked a fisherman and his kayak late Tuesday afternoon, shocking locals around the Pacifica State Beach. According to police reports, the shark attack took place only 200 yards from shore. A fisherman, Micah Flanaburg, was fishing with his father-in-law when suddenly a great white shark exploded from beneath the water to attack the kayak. According to Flanaburg in an interview with San Francisco’s KPIX, the shark first came from underneath the boat and began to violently shake […]
Yesterday, I ran the image above on my weather report on KTTV, warning over suspicious rumblings in the ocean. We all knew that the belly of our Lord rumbled, because in less than 24-hours the Supreme Court would have to rule if they would keep marriage holy, or turn it over to be spoiled and sullied by the liberal masses. And today they ruled: gays can be married. No sooner than the announcement was made, this is what we saw! […]