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YoutubeThe Voice Season 2 Is A Three-Day Old Chalupa Scented Knock-off of American Idol
by Abe - View all commentsAnd by three-day old chalupa, I mean Christina Aguilera letting her vericose vein tim tams hang out of her too little blouse. What on Earth did I watch after the Superbowl? It was not bad enough that M.I.A. was giving me the finger and Madonna was wrapping her STIs all over a stage to mediocre music, then I had to watch the boychild Eli Manning think he is a legendary quarterback. Then, if that is not bad enough, rotten, three-day [...]
I Don’t Understand Why Strippers Get Upset When I Tip with Monopoly Money
by Mike Collins - View all commentsNow before any of you start in on me, I’m a single man and I enjoy the gifts God gave me to look at. If I were not meant to look at beautiful women, I would not have eyes in my head. So let’s not even start with the whole Christians cannot enjoy the beauty of women nonsense. I don’t understand why strippers get upset when I tip with Monopoly money. I mean, are those real tits…I didn’t think so. [...]
Randy Travis Arrested for Public Intoxication, Takes Obligatory Creeper Mugshot
by Jerry Cohen - View all commentsCountry star Randy Travis got a little snockered and got arrested for intoxication. If his dog died and woman left him for a weeping Tom Brady, he’d have the makings for a country-song grammy winner. The smile in this mugshot is somewhere between smug and constipated, with a touch of Pabst Blue Ribbon.
MIA Middle Finger Proves Superbowl Halftime Show Should Be Prerecorded
by Abe - View all commentsMillions of innocent families and friends were exposed to the most horrid, crass vulgarity at the Super Bowl 2012. Madonna gave a very raunchy, pelvic grinding performance that left no room for the imagination. But if that was not bad enough, one of her little groupy backup singers named Mia gave America the middle finger business. I have ordered our editors to blot out this little vixens finger so families will not be corrupted. As you know, extending the middle [...]
Proof that Russia is Experimenting with Nuclear Tesla Trooper Death Energy
by Reverend Clyde H. Higgins - View all commentsWhat do you get when you mix cold hearted Soviet science, wreckless Tesla electrical experiments and raw nuclear power? This terrifying video, shot just outside of Moscow! My eldest brother fought and died protecting humanity from the NAZIs. All my life I wish Harry Truman could have had a nuke for every country in Europe, but I would have made a Faustian deal if it meant we could have dropped a dandy right in the heart of Russia! Dear friends, [...]
Did Scientists Find a UFO on the Ocean Floor?
by Chuck D. Finley - View all commentsIs That a UFO on the Ocean Floor? – Chuck D. Finley EUROPE – It is being reported that scientists may have found a UFO on the sea floor of the Baltic Sea’s Gulf of Bothnia, between Sweden and Finland. This isn’t the first time that this news has caused a stir. When the find was initially reported to the public last year there was great controversy. Theories abound of what it might be. From a new Stonehenge, a natural formation, such [...]
Tom Brady’s Wife Gisele Bundchen Blames Black People For Losing Super Bowl
by Bishop T.J. - View all commentsTom Brady’s wife Gisele Bundchen has come out firing today. The woman popular for having her picture taken and marrying Tom Brady is suddenly the greatest football analyst, angrily blaming the Patriots’ recent loss on the team’s wide receiver core. After the game was over, reports state that Tom Brady sat on the floor of the Patriots locker room, staring at a wall and crying for over 20 minutes. During this time, Gisele Bundchen hovered outside the locker room doors [...]
Did Tim Tebow Pray for Eli Manning’s Comeback in the Super Bowl?
by Bruce Myron Danus - View all commentsIt is a well known fact that prayer can help you achieve anything, if your Faith is strong enough. It can help you ace a test, cure a cold, defeat diabetes and even win football games. Tim Tebow has proven that time and time again this season. The only time that his prayers did not work was versus the evil New England Patriots because Atheist Wiccan Witches put a curse on him along with millions of Atheist Satanists [...]
Lando Calrissian Dead at 75 due to Suicide.
by Susan B. Xenu - View all commentsIn a galaxy far far away called the early 1980’s Lando Calrissian was famous. He had stared in the three Star Wars movies and was a big name. He had left the black music show that he had started in the 1970’s called Soul Train, for the bright lights of Hollywood. But those bright lights always dim with time. Today around 4am police found his dead body in his house in Sherman Oaks California. Celebrity news site TMZ is reporting [...]
Clint Eastwood Warns World in Super Bowl Commercial: America is Ready for a Fight
by Senator August Weisz - View all comments(christwire)—America has been through some tough times since Barak Hussain Obama was elected President. Corporate America is under attack by the occupy “movement” and with it millions of Americans that form the backbone of our great land. Obama has been no help, wrecking our credit rating and selling us out at every turn to countries that hate us. However, one company isn’t going to lay there and take it. Chrysler Motors, makers of Jeep, Dodge, Chrysler and Ram vehicles, last [...]
New York Giants Win Super Bowl 2012 XLVI Over Patriots 21 to 17
by Abe - View all commentsThe New York Giants have won Super Bowl 2012, XLVI, in a thrilling game. The Giants win by a score of 21 to 17. Eli Manning is smiling tonight and claiming to be the greatest maining quarterback, at least or 2012.
MIA Flashes Her Stink Badger to World at Super Bowl Halftime Show
by Reverend Clyde H. Higgins - View all commentsIf you are smelling something Mexican and sour, it’s not the congealed 4th quarter chili con queso at your Super Bowl party! It is a singer named MIA! What does this have to do with Tom Brady being the second greatest quarterback ater Tim Tebow. What does this have to do with scoring touchdowns and helping America celebrate a great past time. People ask why America if flushing itself down the toilet and things like this is it. Why not [...]
LMFAO MIA Throw Madonna On Shoulders During Super Bowl For Minaj A Nicki Troi, Snog Her Nether Nasties!
by Reverend Clyde H. Higgins - View all commentsI have good seats here at the Super Bowl and on the Jumbo Tron, saw two brillo pad headed boys snogging Madonna during the Super Bowl. If this is how it’s going to be, I’d rather see Jane Jackson’s milk jiggles then this. What’s bad is that they all had fake British accents. This Super Bowl was a gift from my grandson and I was enjoying the game until the musky halftime show. How many times must a woman old [...]
Madonna Almost Falls Off Stage During Super Bowl, Saved by C-Lo Green and Singing “Like A Prayer” Atonement
by Reverend Clyde H. Higgins - View all commentsMadonna was warned by God to stop gapping her legs during the Super Bowl. She almost fell off the stage and everyone gasped, but God had mercy on her. Instead of performing “Show My Nasty Bits” she changed up her performance and motioend to C-Lo Green to come out and help her sing the negro spiritual “Like A Prayer”. Close call, Madonna. Go Patriots! UPDATE: submitted from my Android
Superbowl 2012 Kickoff Time
by Dan Nordgren - View all commentsThe Superbowl 2012 Kickoff time is 6:29 pm. After all the festivities, it will probably be a good 30 minutes later. Madonna, MIA and some other talentless singer are slated to do the Super Bowl halftime show. Madonna is trying to claim she is not going to do anything shocking, but we shall see. 95-year-olds don’t work out like crazy to not show off their bodies. Just look at how many times Kathy Griffin has stripped over the last few [...]
