Now hear this! The sneaky Chinamen have already invaded this great nation and nobody has noticed, except Comrade Obama and his brain-dead Politburo.

I am extremely terrified of Chinese people, but I am not racist.  You should feel the same way too. Not even a year ago, I went before Congress to warn everyone this day would come.  I joined thousands of others in protest to beseech our Christian nation declare an invasion [...]