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Herein Alexandra and Lizz throw down some rhymez in response to the phenomenon of YouTube haters and their whack comments. (Adapted from “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mix-A-Lot.)**DISCLAIMER: A number of people have pointed out that not all thirteen-year-olds use incorrect spelling and grammar. This is a fair point, and we’d like to note that we are, indeed, well aware that a number of thirteen-year-olds are highly articulate. It was the best we could come up with as a rhyme, unfortunately, so we kept it in there, although it is the one lyric with which we are less than happy. We have no more desire to hate on thirteen-year-olds than we do on epileptic porcupines (apologies in advance to any of those who might be watching this video, as well). Also, as OrsoIclaim so insightfully points out in the comments, such statements might seem to imply that “if you’re 13, you’re ALLOWED to talk lyke dis.” Allow us to formally state that we by no means sanction the use of improper spelling and grammar among people of any age. Thanks! **Lyrics:Oh, my God. Lizz, look at this Youtube comment. It is so grammatically incorrect.It looks like it was written by an epileptic porcupine who speaks English as a third language.Yeah, but, you know, who understands those YouTube haters’ comments anyway?They only spend hours derogatively responding to other people’s videos because they lack the creative capacity to produce compelling and entertaining video content of their own. I mean, their insults, they’re just so… Lame?We like proper English and we cannot lieYou YouTubers can’t denyThat when illiterate kids start hating on your vidsWith ignorant crass repliesYou’re ashamed, of your fellow man’Cause you realize they don’t understandBasic principles of writingPlus their insults are unexcitingOh baby, we wanna go meet ‘emAnd try to teach ‘emSome basic diction and grammarOr smash their heads in with a hammer!First of all, punctuationThat’s a very good place to startJust use some, use some’Cause otherwise it’s a run-on!We’ve seen whole comments,57-word comments,without a period, comma,or semicolon to be seenWe’re tired of starin’ at the screen,Tryin’ to figure out what you mean.Take a couple seconds to end your sentence,So you won’t sound thirteen.So haters! (Yeah) Haters! (Yeah!)Do your comments need translators? (Yeah!)Then punctuate. Capitalize.It makes a difference, guys!Yo comments are whack.You like to swear and curseAnd use hateful wordsYou just can’t help yourself, you have to take your feelings outOn innocent people.Every other wordIs (booop), maybe or, (booop booop).We’re not looking for Dr. SeussJust cut back on the harsh abuse.You always seem like you’re screamin’So please turn off your capslockGotta tone it down,Only capitalize proper nouns.So I’m lookin at Top Videos,Is that comment talking bout “hose”?If you’re gonna insult meAt least spell it correctly.A word to the comment spammers, what are you thinking?I don’t want you linkin’To your porno site. in my video about TwilightAnd Breaking Dawn.(Edward’s got it goin’ on)But to get back to our songU like 2 type numbers and lettersAnd we r not sure yAnd for some strange reasonYou pluralize by adding z’s on.So haters! (Yeah?) Haters! (Yeah?)You think I should get a life? (Hell Yeah!)Well, what about you? You’re spending your timeWatching my supposedly lame video and commenting on it and stuffYo comments are whack!”dood u look liek a emo punk b**** seriusly i want my 4 min back later youtube im out ~johnny”"wtf r u some kind of gay hobo the best you can do is stick ur head in a toilet u lame dork nurd”So you’re clearly homophobic, throwin’ words like “queer” and “faggot,”Or else you refer to racial slurs, regardlessOf whether they apply in con-Text or make sense at allYou can operate a computerBut you don’t know how to spellI know some words are trickyLike “what” and “our” and “know”You could make some flashcardsIt’s really not that hardPlus you’re callin’ people fatAnd we ain’t down with that’Cuz you’re hiding behind your usernameLike it’s some kinda game.To the You Tube Haters and SlammersJust listen to one last thingWhile we still have your attentionWe’ve got one more thing to mention.Sometimes “Your” is possessive,But other times it means You Are.Put apostrophes when you need em,And otherwise just delete em.So haters if you’re too confusedAbout which form of “their” to useGo to sistersalad’s YouTube pageAnd learn some ways to makeYo comments less whackYo comments are whackThink you’re bein’ clever but yo comments are whackCan’t even understand you ‘cuz yo comments are whackTryin’ to be funny but yo comments are whackLooking like a hack ‘cuz yo comments are whack
Yo Comments Are Whack! was uploaded by: sistersalad
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