Lebron James and Shane Battier almost assuredly sacrifice virgin children to ensure Championship
As evidenced by the 3 Super Bowl wins Jon Kitna bestowed upon the Detroit Tigers, a strong belief in God pays higher dividends than anything any individual can do in the own power. Yet something is afoul in Miami.
After rigorous investigative reporting and speculation, there is very conclusive evidence that Lebron James and Shane Battier, battier being french slang for “battering the anus”, are sacrificing children to win a championship.
