FOR many years worried Christians have been warning that gay marriage would lead to all sorts of terrible consequences — legalised paedophilia, Mormon polygamy and furrysexual furverts marrying their long-suffering huskies (and continuing to do unnatural things to their sheaths and tail holes). But not even in their sweatiest fever [...]

        AMERICA’S most Christian, most heterosexual footballer, Tim “Teabag” Tebow, has stiffened himself for a new thrust in his war on homosexuality. Tebow had recently been accused of going soft on gays after he made a limp withdrawal from speaking at the megachurch of pastor Robert Jeffress, a [...]

By Mark E. Figs God has driven a holy spike into the heart of the gay homosexuality community. Known for being a depraved group of sex addicts, they were struck with the news that the “Hostess” who enable them to hook up with “Ho-Hos” and “Twinkies” was being shut down! Next on [...]

It should come as no surprise that homosexual sin is at the root of this problem. The combination of gluttonous gayness is known as “Homobesity” and has been pioneered for years by hell-bound fatties like Bruce Villanch, Andrew Zimmern and Dom DeLuise. But what has caused the nation to stray from God and seperate from his flock? Why has America turned its back to God in lieu of mulattos and Muslim mystic Presidents and homosexual Skrillex dance festivals? Could deep-fried food and sinful “trans” fats be responsible?

The Bible says gays are bad It is right there in Leviticus! Men laying in homogay with other men is a forbidden fruit that no good Christian should ever eat. It is bad enough we let them do it in public and in front of our children. Letting them get [...]

Due to a lack in Christianity in the Republican field of presidential hopefuls, I have been forced into making an announcement. Last week myself and the award winning staff here at Christwire formed an exploratory committee delving into the possibility that I, Alex K Keating, will seek the Republican nomination [...]

What’s that smell? Well, it’s June so gay is in the air, my friends. Are you ready? This is the month used by many sick, unrepentant homosexuals to flounce and stomp about our God-fearing heterosexual streets in the name of celebrating LGBTQ Pride. While many God-loving countries such as Iran [...]

Popular music has long been known to be one of Satan’s anal pleasures, and today it is more prevalent than ever. Our award winning research team here at Christwire has recently presented me with 9 cases in which every sin from blasphemy to erotic homogay orgies are represented. These are [...]

An epidemic is on the verge of spreading throughout this great nation of ours, and it is due to the gays and their unsanitary ways. Having anal sex is bad enough, but now they are creating new and exciting ways to infect each other with diseases. The latest is called [...]

Christwire’s research team is the finest in the world, but this time they have outdone themselves. Kudos, guys and gals in our research department, for dropping on my desk such a gem that will save so many Christian girls from becoming rapists and losing their place in heaven. A new [...]

I do movie reviews here at Christwire from time to time, mostly to warn others. This last Saturday, however, while screening “The Hangover 2″, I got a bit more than I expected. A full frontal nude shot of an Asian transvestite, complete with milksacs and the typical Asian small penis, [...]

Recently, the research team here at Christwire has brought a disturbing trend to my attention: police all over the nation have been noting that when arresting sodomizing liberals for possessing child pornography they have noticed that 98% of them have also been ‘Trekkies’. It even extends to foreign lands, as [...]

Do they insist on using a Mac? Studies show Mac users are mostly gay. Both butt-cowboys and muff-munchers alike gravitate towards the shiny Apple logo of sin. If you notice one of these around your place of work you may want to go on alert. There is probably a homogay [...]

Not beating their children Liberal laws in this country have forbidden us from doing our biblical duty, and that is to not spare the rod. This is because liberal mothers are scared their children will grow up to be good upstanding conservatives who know the holiness of a swift beating [...]

Many of us think of our fathers with great respect, as well we should. He is the backbone of the good American Christian family. However, in recent years the liberals have been gaining ground in this country. Could this be due to men loving each other anally instead of spending [...]